What is meant by "NEUTRAL" in a straight male - gay man relationship?

Question

A gay male (GM) and straight male (SM) are both living in the same house for more than a year.

GM is dicreet, dominant and high achiever and is older by about 5 years. SM is 22, very handsome, and works in one of GM's business associates company, upon GM's recommendation.

Things turn in different way when SM refuses to be affectionate to GM. GM feels sad and asks for more affection like touching while i bed. Both sleep in the same bed. SM gaps himself from GM saying he is taken advantaged off by GM. But GM does not think so. GM is just affectionate and all affections are done privately.

But why SM thinks that GM is taking advantage of him? Why does he refuse to give GM affections?

SM mentioned of a "neutral relationship". What does it mean if applied in this specific case?

GM helps SM sincerely, in fact the GM offers SM a place to stay without any payment, while working overseas. They have sex but it was agreed upon before SM moved in to Gm's condo year ago.

Answer 1

As in most discussions of this type, people do not consult a master dictionary to make sure they use a term like "neutral relationship" in a specific sense that means the same thing to everyone.

The only one who fully understands what is meant by "neutral relationship" in this case is SM. If GM wishes to have a better understanding about what a neutral relationship means as applied to this specific case, GM will need to ask SM for clarification. Another area requiring clarification is the boundaries SM desires to have in the relationship, as these appear to be different than those desired by GM.

Answer 2

The problem with this relationship would appear to be the definiton or boundary of gay/straight - if SM is straight then why would he want affection or intimacy with GM? Think about what SM is getting out of the relationship compared to GM? There is boundaries in any relationship and it seems to me this relationship is very uneven. Neutral is just a word that is used for people who can't make their mind up abbout a relationship. Either because they can't or won't. GM needs to think about why SM defines it as neutral. It would seem to be so he doesn't upset GM and lose the easy life he is getting. If he is straight and really cared about GM he would make things clear even if it meant losing his 'easy life' GM needs to find some self respect and move on, as no one is worth degrading yourself and giving yourself false hope over.

Answer 3

You are the older and more dominant of the relationship, and the one with more comfort, awareness, and self-acceptance.

Your SM sounds as if he may be bi, curious, or simply still in denial ( not ready to openly admit AND/OR self-condemning ) regarding his sexual orientation and preference.

You should just accept him as he is, and make allowances for what he is comfortable with at the moment. He doesn't need a label or definition. He doesn't need to make any public service announcement.

Guys who are inexperienced in gay relationships often need a way ( some other person ) to "blame" their gay encounters on, if only in their own mind. And not ALL gay guys are into EXACTLY the same ways of relating. There are many couples ( gay and str8 ) who are not experienced, skilled, or comfortable with expressing ( accepting ) affection.

I'm a gay guy who has had various different encounters with men who swear they are "str8"... Does it really matter how a person defines their sexuality? As long as he is in your bed, enjoy the things you can... and don't force the issue.

Respect the boundaries; and don't violate any "STOP" signs.

Answer 4

You are "paying" for sex, not affection! He's keeping his end of the bargain so you should back off or he should move out.

Answer 5

complicated.