Why does society not give men who won't marry and have children by 40 a hard time, and yet blames women for

Question

* Biological clock ticking affairs to get pregnant quick
* Having children out of wedlock
* Being single mums

We are not talking teenage mums, who are on benefits, I mean career women, with education.

There are men who choose not to commit, but want sex (which nowadays is expection in a serious relationship after 30), however they forget women really have to think of having kids by 35 (IVF not availabale on the NHS after this and not so effective either passed a certain age).

There was not so many single mum and not because women kept their legs shut, it was because in past years as it was very frowned on for a man to run away. He HAD to marry in the sixties one in three marriages the women was pregnant when saying her vows. So why not blame men for not committing like their father's had to?

to add in the sixties abortion was illegal so men could not say "I want you to have an abortion" to avoid responsibily.

It is NOT a chip on my shoulder, i just wonder why women get the blame for everything and men complain about today's society when they do not take responsibiltiy for their actions.

I don't want to marry Im just interested in comments! Being a feminist and not marrying is better for me financially and emotionally. I just hate the do gooders who give single mum's a hard time.

Love the answers so far! Is that an accurate picture of men? Crickey glad Im self suffient and single, you sperm doner boys! Love it.

Answer 1

From what I can see, anyone, male or female, who openly admits to not wanting children, is regarded as inherently "bad". I've been called "selfish" by other women for choosing not to have children.

I sympathise with anyone who wants children, even though I have no insight into how it feels, but I wish others would respect my right to choose as much as they expect theirs to be respected.

Motherhood, much more so than fatherhood, is very much idealised in fiction. Women who don't want children are painted as cold, selfish bitches, men who either definitely don't want children or who are not sure, or not ready, are painted as selfish and probably thoughtless, worthy only of contempt. So their right to choose isn't respected either.

There's one short story I've never forgotten, because I thought its basic assumption was so wrong and offensive:

A man was being pestered by his girlfriend to marry her and start a family. This being rather an important decision, he wasn't sure. The girlfriend after a short while, ends the relationship. Some months later, he spots her pushing her child in a pushchair and it transpires that she's used him as an unwitting sperm donor. He still cares for her and would like to be with her and their child, but she obviously resents his earlier indecision and, as the writer put it, regarded him with utter contempt. The intended moral of the story was that the man should have complied with his girlfriend's wishes IMMEDIATELY, that she is right to regard him with contempt and not to allow him to see the child that she conned him into fathering.

Frankly I thought the woman should have respected the man's right to choose whether or not to be a dad, and thought she treated the child with as much contempt and indifference as she treated its father. Some women seem to think that just being female automatically makes us right and somehow entitled to have what we want. I don't agree with them.

Answer 2

Because basically this country is run by men, it's a man's world and men look after their fellow man. Lots of 'happily' married successful men who hold high pressure jobs, including being in the goverment have love childs by their mistresses and every time the woman is blamed, it's 50-50 and these men even though they have the money to support that child will not even acknowledge its existance until they are put under immense pressure, and even then they pay the minimum towards it because they consider it to be the 'woman's problem.

Answer 3

Society likes to give us sane people, (those who are unmarried, 40 with no children) a hard time because they are unhappy with their lives or jealous of our freedom. A person or two has made a comment but I considered the source of the people making the comments and, in each instance, they had an unhappy marriage.

Answer 4

Cos men, like women have a freedom of choice, if they choose not to have any children then they are entitled to that choice. I wonder how many married men, if they were given a choice, would have no children, or left having a family until later in life if given a totally free, no harassment, choice in the matter. Men, as well as women, have rights and ideas, but often not taken into account by thier partner when they get the urge.

Answer 5

I don't think today's society frowns on unmarried women nearly as much as it did in the past. I feel that marriage has lost most of it's signifigance and really is a waste of time for most people.

Answer 6

they may not commit but they are still responsible for the raising of the child (even if only financially). Many of these men who knock you up and leave would be lousy husbands anyway so you are actually bettter off without the frustration.

Answer 7

Men don't have the same biological constraints on having children. It's just a fact. It's not my fault it's not fair.

Answer 8

Because men don't care and most women realize it. Therefore, no stigma.

Answer 9

because they are having enough hard time

Answer 10

wow,that chip on your shoulder must really weigh you down.