i hav found emails and pics of my b/f and also pics of a lady plessuring themselfs that thay hav sent between each other we hav sex everyother day he says he loves me im 38 weeks pregnant with our second child and we are due to be maried next year what would you do if you were in my shoes?
2007-02-09 23:14:37 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask him what the problem is... Or you could get yourself someone online and do the same for them, and see how he likes it... Pregnant women are very sexy... :D
2007-02-09 23:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by Forlorn Hope - returned 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
The two of you have to talk about this now, don't wait. But keep in mind that exchanging pornographic pictures is not the same as having full-on sex together, so remember you don't have any evidence that he has been having sex with anyone else. But it's not a good sign and seems to show he may not want to commit to you.
Women really must not presume that just because they are having a man's baby that this man wants to be with them. And vice-versa. This is what you have to discuss, and whether or not you're going to get married, and if you don't get married then what arrangements for financial support is he going to provide for his child. But remember that this all might just all be a case of exchanging very stupid photographs with a stranger on the net and not necessarily worth breaking up over.
2007-02-10 10:22:53 · answer #2 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's playing a dangerous game. The lure of pornographic visuals is an opening to more "tangible" options. Many guys fool themselves into thinking it won't hurt to play these online games, but they simply intensify over time--human nature--and can become a mental obsession leading to outright infidelity. Ask him how he would feel if it were his daughter who was visually stimulating him online? Whoever she is, she's somebody's misguided/mishandled daughter. He's opening a door to issues your children may not have otherwise had to deal with. As for you, to your ownself be true! Is this a deal breaker for you? What I or any other answerer would do is based upon our personality, resilience (or lack thereof), etc. Who are you? Are you someone who puts up with/works through this type of thing? Are you instinctively a person who shuns this type of behavior and the people who participate in it? You have to be a healthy mother to your children, man or no man. As far as marriage: NO WAY. That would be the last topic for discussion at this point--unless you're considering having the husband that your boyfriend is. You've discovered who he is--now believe it. Is he willing to change/stop? Sincerely? If not, and you don't accept it, then no marriage. Having sex every other day, especially when he likely has images of another woman in his mind while he's having sex with you, is no indication of stability. In fact, it speaks to his inSATIAbility. Sometimes guys will want a trade off, e.g., "I'll stop if you'll just indulge me ONE menage a trois," etc. Nevertheless, insatiability speaks against the likelihood of a ONE time fling happening once. And if it's not you, it's not you. No(!) should be your emphatic and consistent answer. If he's known all along that you would clearly be upset about his shenanigans, then he's not trustworthy, thus not marriage worthy. He's self-absorbed. Having children with a man is no reason to stay in a hurtful, unfulfilling, unfaithful relationship. As for your children, it would REALLY be unfair. If this is a deal breaker for you--for YOU--forgive him for your own sake, and then surround yourself and children with true friends/loved ones/mentors. Allow him to be present at the birthing, if he so chooses. Allow him future visitations. Insist on financial support. You WILL heal. If he's willing, let him heal on his own, knowing that you'll support him from afar, but not from within a lop-sided marriage with you. Time will tell what he's truly made of. Believe what you see, don't lie to yourself.
2007-02-09 23:55:30 · answer #3 · answered by JazzyJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your shoes, I would let myself feel hurt over being betrayed. Then I would walk those shoes, or waddle at 39 weeks to him and ask him if he is building a life with you. Because you want a life that reserves the pleasure for the 2 of you alone. What to do is is hard to figure out alone, you need to know if he can stop with the emails. Sadly, pregnancy does sometimes seem to bring out the cheat in a man, you would think he would snuggle up and be amazed with it all, but for some men, it's panic mode, and they stray. Good Luck. Love the baby, and remind him, his baby will have a happier life with him in it.
2007-02-09 23:36:57 · answer #4 · answered by donny_mollysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him that you found it, let him know that his sick game is over, find a way to get ahold of the girl and tell her everything, cuz chances are she knows nothing about you. I bet she does not want to see him any more after that! Next you need to keep him away from you but in the same house (hey you need someone to drive you to the hospital!) Once the baby comes kick his dirty as$ out! If he loves you so much what the hell his he doin running around with another girl? Forget marring that! Once a cheater always a cheater, that will never change. I learned that lesson a few years ago. Please don't stay with a man just cuz your having his baby, in the end you'll be the most miserable person.I'm very sorry this happened to you, i know what your going thru. Stay strong!
2007-02-09 23:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by sarah 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If i were you i would have my child first then after the baby is born i would confront him about this when calm a collective. I definitley would not marry him since he is cheating and being unfaithful. After the baby is born i would move out somewheres else for at least a trial seperation. Talk to hm and see what he says about what you found out. He does not love you at all. If he really loved you he would not be cheating and being unfaithful. He does not know what love is. I feel you will be much better off without him in your life. The sad part is he has to be involved in the babies life BUT that is the only life he has to be involved in NOT yours!
2007-02-10 00:26:02 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has left it very late in the day (being that you are pregnant) with his second child to admit that he has the tendancies that you mention. The thing for you to bring out of this is 'you have found out'. No explanation would be acceptable to me for the betrayal he is seeking with this other 'person'. Secondly, you have one child and expecting another - where are his morals. I would not have any child let alone myself around a person who finds the need to carry out such behaviour. True it will be difficult for you, but show him the door - you will get through this situation and try to get the support of your family and friends especially until after 2nd baby is born. Dont listen to his explanations - and as for marriage - f o r g e t i t!
2007-02-10 03:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear that is nasty, try taking the mickey out of him continuously and make him feel ashamed and dirty, and make sure your unborn child can't be infected, because he sounds the type who has no conscience and may go with anybody if he thinks he can get away with it. You sound too trusting, seems like all he has to do is tell you he loves you and your heart melts, harden up and take charge. Pregnancy should be a happy time to remember and he is spoiling it. Also if he's made it easy for you to find these on his phone then it makes me wonder what his motive is. Oh and by the way it wouldn't be very wise to marry him until you can trust him because marriage is easy to get into but 10 times harder to get out of.
2007-02-10 04:28:45 · answer #8 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dave is a dumbass if he wants to draw a distinction between a woman sending your husband pictures of her manipulating her vagina as anything less than cheating.
Be the last person to go to bed, and print out a giant picture of the girl, and put it on the refrigerator for when your hubby comes down in the morning. Then you can have a little discussion about it. If it's ok in his email, it should be ok where your child's art projects and good report cards will eventually go.
2007-02-09 23:19:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
i am 3 months pregnant with our first child and found out when i was 2 months gone that my husband has been writing to his ex fiancee who tells him that she still loves him. I have since found that he loves her and is having trouble with our marriage. I have decided to stick it out until he decides to leave - which is a very great possibility. So I have informed my mother who has set up the house in readiness to me to move back home and my husband and I have decided to try again but I am no fool and I know this may not work. I sorry for your pain. NB - i'm already married - its not my business but if you are not already married to this man then don't do it. I am reliably informed men seem to do this when your pregnant althought this is the worst possible time!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-10 07:19:10 · answer #10 · answered by honey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If its just them sending pictures you need a sit down and chat about were your future lies, if your 100% sure that they have had no physical contact then theres a chance you could work things out but you need to ask him why he has done this if he says he loves you, if he has been messing around physically with another woman get rid of him, you and your kids dont need men like that in your life.
2007-02-09 23:20:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋