I just don't know why marriage didn'i work out for me. I am bubbly and I have a lot of sense humour but Why? My friends told me I chose the wrong guys and I need someone better than that.
I am divorcee with two kids(both from second husband)
I used to be very attractive woman but I am just working too hard looking after my kids (no regrets) I love dearly. I wanna a change in my life but I don't know how to start. I am good at making friends because I could speak well and have good sense humour but
things are not the same for me. Things just turns off for me and the other party .really want to make love with someone but just afraid I will do with the wrong person again .(NOT HAVING SEX SINCE MY DIVORCE) 4 years already. hmm I wonder so guys help me out
2007-02-09 22:41:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your friends are right, you are picking the wrong guys so let me tell you why. It is said that you repeat the same behavior until you learn to change it. You haven't learned yet. Find a good counselor or therapist to uncover what it is ... until you do, you will continue to go down the same path.
2007-02-09 22:46:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking at all your questions, it is easy to agree that there is a lot of drama in your marriage and it has many problems. First about this question, many individuals with strong marriages live separated from their loved ones for more than a year and the marriage still stands strong (I see this all the time in servicemen and women throughout the world). I think you are doing the correct thing about taking care of your health and yourself, before running off to rescue him. He is an adult, he should be responsible and stand on his own two feet. Have you considered that he may want you to sell your condo, fly to UK so he can have access to your condo funds, and when you appear in the UK his job has disappeared. Have you considered that this man is playing you fool, using your love to get what he wants. I could be wrong. What ever you do it is your choice, you are an adult, just be careful because you could end up broke in the UK without a way back to North America. I wish you the best.
2016-05-24 22:17:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe you are as many are in my view. That is, one or more of the following things apply.
You are trying to beleive in fairytales and fantasy instead of real life, and the men simply cant be the fairy tale you seek. Of course, you probably arent the fairytale or fantasy they hoped for either.
You/the partner dont marry with the attitude that you will both stick it out til one of you dies. Hey, without that attitude on both of your parts as well as the guts to deliver on it, you are doomed to divorce.
You or they dont practice being selfless, but rather are selfish and want your way. When you love someone, you are to care about their best interests as much if not more then your own.
You can tell us how you think you are great. Your friends may say you are. But then our freinds are usually like minded people. You can tell yourself anything you want to. Your freinds might agree. But saying it or having it said doenst mean that it is true.
A lot of people want anyone or someone in particular so badly, they forget that person has their own ways. You can find someone and then start to see things you dont like or that worry you or that you disagree with about them Be honest. Dont try to tell yourself that it will be fine, you can change them, you can overlook or deal with those things. In the end, these things will build up and cause trouble. If you do take them as they are, then dont later turn and say how you thought you could deal with it but couldnt. That was your call and if you answered it, then deal with it as you have obligated and promised to do.
Plus, if you were not cheated upon, you dont have a right to divorce and remarry anyway. Dont agree? Oh well. Hey, look at it this way. If you dont worry about the morals that God set or the right and wrong as he sees them, then why should you expect anyone else to do so and how can you consider anything they do to be wrong? If it is okay for you to jettison morals, it is just as fine for others to do so and you should keep quiet and take no offense.
2007-02-10 05:09:39 · answer #3 · answered by operatingengineerjw 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the deal - it takes two to succede in a marriage, but it only takes one to make it fail.
Since you've already failed twice, the common denominator is you. Sorry, it's the blunt truth.
You have a voice inside, a conscience, that knows the difference between "good" and "evil". You need to learn to listen to that voice 24/7. I'm most certainly NOT talking about church or religion here, just listening for the voice of "GOD" inside you. Once you've learned to listen to his voice, he will guide your perfect match to you. There will be nothing sweeter in your life than that match - except your constant connection to "GOD" - which NO church can help you with, and no ARMY of evil can destroy.
You say it's been 4 years since your last divorce. Hurray! You've survived - so far. My last divorce was in 1992 - and I was alone until 2001. Don't rush this. Just trust "GOD" for his timing, and to do what you need to do to become the perfect person for someone else to love.
2007-02-09 23:29:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are trying too hard and sometimes people can misdiagnose this as being desperate and most people shy away from this especially men. And the men that dont shy away usually get what they want and they are gone. A divorce can be a very traumatic experience. Be patient and dont try so hard. Be cool,calm and collected he will find you. Oh yeah, try not to be too picky at the same time not lowering your standards.
2007-02-09 22:57:35 · answer #5 · answered by McDaniel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends are probably right to a degree but it takes two to fail a marriage and that means you have some bad habits too. There is no harm in going on dates right now but I would get some counceling so you don't make the same mistakes again.
2007-02-09 23:13:19 · answer #6 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one huge piece of advice it has nothing to do with looks find someone smart they may not be the most attractive but theyre more trustworthy and sweet go for a nerd i did
2007-02-09 23:31:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read the answers under the question...." Is the marriage certificate worth the paper its printed on"..!!!!One answer in particular may help you deal w/ marriage....
2007-02-09 23:13:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe ur not the perfect women for them try to change some of your personality maybe it will work in a third time good luck and best wishes
2007-02-09 22:46:29 · answer #9 · answered by lene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋