Ex-lovers become spiteful?

Question

I have noticed that my friend’s ex-girlfriend is spiteful. She becomes angry and is argumentative. She would bring up his past—either the good or bad events but will come to a conclusion and explain how it was “his fault.” Positive traits about him are forgotten. And one thing she does also is make it seems as if now everything is better without him. Once you become an ex-lover it is like your marked “loser” and the person becomes mean—doing everything they can do make your life miserable. Why are ex-lovers spiteful?

Answer 1

Their feelings are hurt and they are exhibiting a behavior known as sideways anger. This is where a person exhibits anger at everything but the actual problem, venting their anger 'sideways' so to speak She is probably angry at being rejected or used or cheated on or just simply feels inadequate and is trying to feel taller by standing on someone else's head
In my experience, an inability to face your own feelings of inadequacy lead to a self-loathing and if you see self destructive people, these are usually people with such unresolved conflicts in their lives. Only by facing your hurt and dealing with why you were hurt so much will you ever grow and I believe that from your description, she suffers from this problem and she may become self-destructive if she doesn't resolve these feelings somehow.
I treat lots of addicts and alcoholics in my practice and I see this behavior all of the time

Answer 2

Human nature....we minimize our part in a relationship by making the fault entirely the other persons. All the positive emotions you had for an ex turned negative. In some ways it is just to save some face, but it can get out of hand. We try to convince ourselves we are better off, even if it still hurts to be without them. The old saying it true...there is a thin line bewteen love and hate....that passion cuts both ways.

Answer 3

They are jealous about what they've lost

Answer 4

maybe they just dont get along and they shouldnt be friends.