How do you handle a sister in law who says the wrong thing at the wrong time?

Question

When my husband & I got married, his sister was in a bad relationship and afraid if he married me, he wouldn't be around for her sounding board and all, or that he would end up unhappy too. He is 20 yrs older than me (50 & 30), but both of our families were very supportive and saw that we make each other happy. She told him (i assumed somewhat jokingly) that she would give him $1000 to not get married. He chose me. But now, 3+ yrs later, every opportunity that she gets when I am being introduced to someone from their small community, she blirts out "I offered him $1000 not to get married but he didn't take it". She has done this at community banquets, and even at a dinner for donors his campaign for local office. A banquet is coming up, and I don't know if I should just pull her aside and deal with it before she says anything, or just let her be her normal self. The 1st time I blew it off, the 2nd my husband talked to her, but she continues. I'm at a loss & I can't just avoid her

Answer 1

I could see how that could be embarrassing no matter whether she means it as an insult or a compliment (ie you two must really be committed to each other). Your first line of attack would be to have both you and DH sit down and talk to her about it.

But I would be prepared with a snappy comeback because you really can't control her. Something along the lines of you two looking each other in the eyes and saying "Boy are we glad he didn't!" could diffuse any bad feelings quite nicely.

Answer 2

She's a bitter vindictive woman so saying anything to her probably wouldn't help. She'd deliberately mouth off anyways. She covers her own inadequacy's by trying to stir up some trouble. These people in the community are certainly intelligent enough to know where she's coming from and it makes you look better if a scene can be avoided. Just laugh it off and take it in stride. It makes her out to be a nut.
But if she wants to spout off in front of people just say offhand she got a better deal; she got ME as a sis-in-law.

Answer 3

Although this must be irritating it really isn't a big deal. You simply need a retort that will make her look stupid for having said it. How about 'Aren't you tired of telling people that?' or something more humourous like 'It's good to know I was worth more to him than $1000'. Your husband really needs to tell her to stop and if she can't completely accept you as his wife she should stop saying this stuff, especially in public.

Answer 4

One word of advice.
Say something now. Atleast by the banquet, she will be well aware that this type of comment is hurtful & uncalled for.
If she does not this lightly, ask your husband to address the issue again.
You are his wife & this sister in law has no right to make you or he feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.
By the sound of things, she is embarrassing herself not you
People would see you & your 'no reaction' & feel sorry for you.
But to save that, address it now & move on.
What she is doing is just NOT RIGHT & a desperate attempt to make herself feel better about her divorced marriage.
Poor girl

Answer 5

You need to step up and tell her to quit disrespecting you, also your husband needs to tell her that if she keeps it up that she will no longer be welcome at your home.You can start giving her the cold shoulder and start ignoring her.She is embarrassing you and i would not tolerate her inappropriate behavior.

Answer 6

When she says that, tell people yeah she really did pay him $1,000 but her checked bounced. Then look at her, smile and walk off.

Answer 7

sister in law like her is better not to welcome talk to her and ask her problem why she do that to you just ignore what she do or maybe she is the pet of ur husband and now he have you.. so you are now his queen and not her.shes only jelly...cheers