i really dont know what to do?????

Question

Is this wrong????i dont know what to do???
Is this wrong????
would it be wrong of me to send my ex an email an tell him how i feel to see if there is any chnce for us before i move on??
i still love him
we have been apart for nearly a year. is it too late???
and should i tell him all my feelings or just come out and ask simply if hed give us another chance???
we have had contact over the year and he has been driving past my house but he said it was coz he was worried bout me....
we were together for 4.5 years he is 30 and i am 23.

Answer 1

Hello,

I really detest using emails for "heavy-duty" messages. Its a bit tacky. Its like opening up your inbox to see that your partner wants a divorce or is letting you know they are cheating on you. Email is meant for memoes and light-hearted communications, but anything more needs to be done face to face.

Why? Well, for one, email is just words on a computer screen. So your ex can not hear your voice, he can't hear the changes in diction, tone, inflections that occur in normal speech patterns. These speech patterns are what allow us to be able to gauge the 'motives' and the 'heart' of those we speak with. And he also wont be able to see you, which cuts down on his ability to read your nonverbal body language to see your sincerity.

So its just not a good idea, because it will just look a little insincere, a little trivial, a little immature. I would send him an email that basically says "Hey, I want to get together wth you for lunch because there is something I really feel I need to tell you."

Thats all that should be in that email.

Then when the two of you meet in person, thats when you need to tell him your feelings and then ask "Do you feel the same? Is there enough trust and communication between us that we can repair any damage and try again?"

The thing is, no relationship is perfect. Each and every one takes work. A lot of work. It is a full-time job that has a pitiful salary, but can have some tremendous benefits, depending on how much you put into the work..

And its NEVER too late to tell someone how you feel. Within reason of course....if you have an EX who is currently married or even in a committed relationship, obviousely it wouldnt be the time to confess your heart to him. It just takes a little bit of common sense and decency to know when the right time is.

The worst thing any one can do is live with regrets. If we dont try, we cant say we would never know the outcome. As long as we give anything a shot, we might get the desired action we want, right?

But, there is always an "equal" chance that you wont get what you want. And you have to be able to be mature enough to understand that before embarking on this endeavor. You must be TRULY okay with the thought that, after expressing your heart, that your ex may just not be that into you anymore. That possibility certainly does exist. And if he's not into you anymore, if he isnt in love with you anymore, its better you know. That way you can heal the hurt and then grow and find someone who is more suitable for your needs.

A couple things I want to mention:

Make sure, when you email him AND when you meet with him in person, that you just dont come on too strong, too desperate, and too needy. Just be honest and forthright, let him know that you still have feelings for him, that you would like to give the relationhship another shot if he feels the same way. Thats it. Dont start blubbering and never beg. State your case and then let him decide without pressure.

Second.....you were with him from a very young age, and for a long time. Thats a pretty heavy committment to be saddled with at a young age. Sometimes its best to see what is out there before settling. And thats what I am afraid you may be doing, which would be settling.

You said its been a year since you and he were together. So what gives now that makes you want to ask him for another chance? I dont need to know the reason why, but I want YOU to know the answer why.

Are you doing this because you honestly love him?
Or
Are you doing this because you are going through a dating/love dry-spell and are lonely?

If you are doing it for the latter, its better you dont. I know loneliness isnt always the funnest thing to experience, but it sure beats a relationship that is DOA on arrival.

Answer 2

You might just email him and see where it takes you two If he is not with someone else maybe you can get back with him . we don't know why you both went your separate way's it could be that you cheated on him or you felt you could find better else where so we don't know all of what happened so ask him out for dinner you pay and talk let him know how you feel .Good luck

Answer 3

Tell him how you feel if you don't you will always wonder what might have been. He may not want you back but you have nothing but your pride to lose. You will get that back. I say take a deep breath and jump in. Good Luck

Answer 4

Tell him how you feel, if he does not feel the same way then move on. good luc