I just need some serious answers here i used to be friends with a guy here on this site so much so he even gave me his mail address, office number where he works, various contact details, i thought it was just a friendship, ok maybe i was wrong but i made things clear from the beginning, but he obviously couldn't face the fact that i had a partner, but still he insisted on continuing all the time i noticed each time he was becoming more and more aggressive with his mesages, and demanding a picture which i did not feel comfortable sending why? because i did not know this person and had a partner and child i did not trust this person to that extent to send personal details but he trusted me......now further down the line this person has now dismissed the friendship because i would not do what they want me to do......am i in the wrong? or are they for reacting so erratic i'm begining to think there is something mentally wrong with this person....what do you think about this?
2007-02-09 21:58:21 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Is he behaving like this because he bears a grudge against me or what?
2007-02-09 22:01:07 · update #1
This is certainly the downside of cyber relationships as you have discovered to your regret. I am personally very suspicious about cyber relationships mainly because I come from a generation that remember the joys of snail mail and never touched a computer before middle age. Another reason is that I keep hearing stories like yours.
However, there must be a middle way, a safer way to meet people on the web because I am sure there a lot of people out there worth knowing. This guy has betrayed the friendship you offered him. First, he broke the conditions of the relationship you were offering him. From the onset you were open about your marital status and what you were seeking from him i.e. a friendship. Second, he broke the rules of social etiquette, ( rules that help us decide what is acceptable behavior and what isn't, ) in both, persuing you after you made it clear that you wanted to cut links and in the manner he did so. To rub salt into your wounds he decided it was he who was 'dismissing' you as a friend !
Your lesson here is not to avoid making friends but to be more discriminating when you do. I am sure you do this in the actual world and so the same rules govern the cyber. It was a nasty experience for you but I have come across far worse stories. You could say your lesson came relatively cheaply.
2007-02-09 22:21:49 · answer #1 · answered by John M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think that you're wrong at all. It's kinda a gamble when you start making friends online. Usually I get the people that want to start emailing back and forth and after a short while just quit for no reason. Most start off as cool and open, then start going south and acting erratic. I'm sure it's nothing that you did wrong. It's just hard to judge people without actually meeting them. You put yourself out there and hope you get respect in return, but unfortunately that doesn't always happen. You seem nice and I hope you have better luck in the future!
2007-02-10 07:39:02 · answer #2 · answered by Eric 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no. it is too bad. some men still do not understand boundaries. he may have read more into your communications than what was your intention. you said he provided you with personal information, did you contact him outside of this forum? that may have mislead him to believe you were actually interested. did you ever hear the saying. " her lips said no, but her actions spoke volumes" ? or something like that. you speak of, friendship? his feeling may be hurt or he was looking for more than a friend. you are not available and he is moved on. it almost sounds like you are reconsidering now that he no longer is interested?? any thoughts on that?
2007-02-10 06:15:36 · answer #3 · answered by Kim C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that not everyone is who they appear, or who they say they are. People are protected by anonymity and that sometimes makes them bolder than they might otherwise be. Despite your 'making things clear' this guy was looking for something more than freindship. Thank your lucky stars you didn't give him any personal information, forget him and don't be so naive next time.
2007-02-10 06:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you are in a relationship so why are you chatting up guys on line. When you accepted his info you gave him hope that it would lead to more. Why do you care what he thinks, he knows there is no chance and as moved on suggest you do same.
2007-02-10 06:06:16 · answer #5 · answered by noddy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋