I have a friend that will call me multiple times a day (10+), then just show up at my house and not leave. She doesn't work, is always eating my food and asking to borrow money. I have children to support and cannot afford to take care of her too. She is starting to get on my last nerve.
2007-02-09 20:25:33 · 10 answers · asked by Lynsey T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I had that situation happen once. Not only was I feeding her, but her son also. I didn't want to hurt her feeling, but eventually had to be blunt, and tell her I could not do it anymore. She got hurt and stopped coming over for a while, but in time the friendship healed. Just be straight foward and explain to her, you cannot spend you time with her all day, you have kids to tend to. And you can't afford to feed her any more.
Good luck!
2007-02-09 20:30:28 · answer #1 · answered by Speedy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my best friend of 25 years.
Just be "too busy." I love my best friend to death, but when she becomes "too clingy," then I have to become very distracted with other things.
As far as the money thing. Don't give it to her! Your children and you come first and don't feel guilty. Who is there to ever help you and your kids? (Sounds kind of cold, but it's reality...) As far as coming to your house: don't open the door. When later she tells you she came over, tell her you went for a walk.
Everything always works out and it will work out for your friend as well. Just always express you can't afford it or maybe in brief conversations describe the kind of bills your have so then maybe she'll hesitate to ask you for money next time she thinks of it.
You have to take care of your kids and you first. That's it because noone else will. Don't let your kind heart open to people taking advantage of you.
2007-02-09 20:38:45 · answer #2 · answered by bentley b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I have to say is be upfront and civil about this issue. Just tell her that her behavior is totally unacceptable and that the probability of ending the friendship is likely. I'm sorry that she disrespects you like that. No one should be treated this way.
Also, if someone wants to borrow money from you next time, just say NO. Because most of the time, the person will not pay you back. However, I hope she pays you back.
2007-02-09 20:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by ~ Miss Naomi ~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant do it nicely because people like her will push and push to take advantage of people. They dont take hints and they have no social conscious. They are users. You are going to have to lay it on the line and tell it like it is. Your kids come first and you dont have a choice or this mooch is going to dominate your life. First off do NOT lend anyone money if you have children to care for. Odds of getting it back are slim to none.
Second, get caller ID and dont answer her calls.
Do not answer the door if she comes over. If she does get inside stop her from taking things like food. But I think your going to have to tell her straight out you cannot afford her friendship.
2007-02-09 21:41:00 · answer #4 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she can't understand what she's doing already, you need to let her know... Sounds like she'll be so suprised that you finally spoke up and told her "that she'll disapear for at least a weekend", most likely for good. Be stong, don't answer the phone (change the #). Don't answer the door.
But, firmly tell her to bug off, if she's actually "no friend".
2007-02-09 20:33:14 · answer #5 · answered by alaskan_hammer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not worry about being too rude, it sounds like this person is imposing on you quite a bit and is not very concerned about how you feel about the whole thing. Just get a caller ID and don't pick up the phone, sooner or later she will figure it out.
2007-02-09 20:30:02 · answer #6 · answered by days_o_work 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there and done that, you will end up blowing up on her and you do not want to do that if shes a GOOD friend, so what i did was just sit her down and very calmly tell her the problem i had and if she gets mad and doesnt understand than, hey i would think you were being used, because my friend took what i said and went with it, good luck
2007-02-09 20:33:23 · answer #7 · answered by jgordongrl24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's annoying she isn't a friend, you politely tell her everything that you just told us. She's inconsiderate, let her know. Lock your doors and the next time she calls you, just make excuses as to why she can't come over.
2007-02-09 20:34:16 · answer #8 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her nicely that you have a family to take care of and cannot entertain her, or chat to her during the week. Tell her she is welcome to visit you or call you at weekends only.
2007-02-09 20:55:19 · answer #9 · answered by spatz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her to church on sunday then do this 5 times then go to your old church and change phone number and buy a different car,change jobs,
2007-02-09 20:30:31 · answer #10 · answered by game boy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋