I am a 24 year old well educated female who had a best friend from my freshman year of college. We were part of an organization and over the years became very close. Both of us experienced ups and downs with family and relationships but shared a similar faith. Therefore, I felt we really had a solid friendship to the point I considered her like a sister.
About 2 years ago she started dating a new guy and we both left for grad school. We are both back in the same city now finishing our degrees and both have very serious relationships. After returning from being away in mid Jan she has distanced herself from me the past month and won't return any of my calls, emails, etc. Today she sent me an email saying she has changed, our friendship changed, and her focus is school and her boyfriend and she can no longer offer me what it needs to be a good friend. She said I did nothing wrong, still this kills me to the core, and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions on what to do?
2007-02-09 19:46:35 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
its happened to me, you've got to move on sorry to say,, give them the space they need,you never know... its also apart of growing up. what will happen will happen, you cant do much...
2007-02-17 03:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by Toby G* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like everyone i have known here in my hometown. Good friends are at the point were they feel like they are apart of the family, just like how i feel when i'm with my best friend. Sure it sounds like she has changed and everything but it just means she just wants to focus all her time and energy on this guy and her schooling or work. She feels like she can't be there for you or anyone else. But she will realize she pushed away her friends once she feels like she's trapped or alone. Friendships never change, it just takes a break and grows stronger as years go by..don't worry you and her will be friends again just give it sometime to mend...
2007-02-17 00:12:07 · answer #2 · answered by angelpepsi22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I know how you feel from your story I can tell you treasure this friendship alot. From my personal experience, I think you should carry on with your life as you said her focus is school and boyfriend. There are plenty of friends out there who deserve your friendship. I too have experienced this my best friend of 15 years choose to avoid my calls and sms as she is now a lesbian, which I forbid. She said that I should not dictate how she wants to live her life. Anyway cheer up you will definitely find a genuine friend very soon!!!
2007-02-09 20:11:01 · answer #3 · answered by eunice_sim2677 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Good friends are the most important things in life and it's hard to understand why she wouldn't want to keep you as a friend.
That said, it takes two to tango. If she wants out, ya gotta let her go. Take consolation in the fact that it's not your fault.
If you're feeling very big, you should tell her that you understand and will miss her and that she should contact you if she changes her mind. This leaves the door open if she should come to her senses.
2007-02-09 19:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is being honest. For whatever the reason your lives have changed and she is walking a separate path. Sounds like you feel it has something to do with her boyfriend. And that could very well be. Bottom line is your friend has made a decision respect it.
2007-02-15 19:50:58 · answer #5 · answered by ugcj10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she has changed and you haven't done anything wrong. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt your feelings that she wouldn't have time being friends with you. Just tell her that you are hurt but understand that she has changed. Just let her know that when she needs you that you would tell me a best friend to her. Maybe her life will be less busy later on. Who knows you might have alot of things going on with you later on that you would also be very busy. Just go on but reassuring her that you will be there when she needs you and just leave it to that.
2007-02-17 14:04:59 · answer #6 · answered by tannya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go......I know you love her but sometimes if you keep trying to paint yourself in a picture that she doesn't want you in you could end up making things worse. Something is wrong with her. She couldn't even call you or see you but she writes you. Go over to her house and see what's up and make her look you in the eyes to tell you. If it's a new focus than you'll know if it's because of "him" you'll also know. Good luck sweetie!
2007-02-09 19:51:44 · answer #7 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if she might have a controlling boyfriend in the picture. Just be her friend from a distance and with time, she will come back around. I'm sorry this has hurt you...
2007-02-16 06:58:08 · answer #8 · answered by Kbear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's ruff,If you can get some sort of evidence.If not she will lie to him and make up a story about you wanting her or something like that.He will end up trusting her and hating you.You will loose a friend.But if you have a pic or someone else that can testify to your story then he may believe you.If you tell her to tell him,that just gives her plenty of time to think of a lie.So be care full with this one.Good luck.
2007-02-09 21:42:06 · answer #9 · answered by John G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Tony hit the nail on the head. Be gracious to her. She may be going through something in her life of which you are unaware. Tell her you will miss her and if she ever needs a friend you are there for her.
2007-02-17 11:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by Jodi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her boyfriend may have something to do with this. it happened to me too, but i was doing what your friend has done. because my boyfriend at the time, did not like my friend. it was hard for me. this happened over 10 years ago. she will soon enough realise when she and her man part, as I did. just try and be strong and continue your life ........good luck
2007-02-16 11:29:26 · answer #11 · answered by Jassie's mum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋