Has any one been in a marriage\relationship with someone that Loves you one day but leaves you the other?

Question

I have been married to my husband for 7 years we have three children together. We have been acutually together for 10 years on and off.Through out our relationship he has loved me and left me many times.I'ts like he has this double personality he can be your prince charming one moment and your worst enemy the next.I cant say unfortunaly because I just love my babies with all my life and more, but seeing this problem through out my relationship I always seemed to forgive him and take him back. This time we married and and had babies together ,3.Now again as usual we are at the same point. He is cheating on me again even after being married and having kids he could not kick his habit but by this point my hart has hardened towards him i am just dying now because my children have to go through this now and I cant help but feel so guilty because if it wasn't for me being so forgiving and love struct my babies would not be going through this right now please help me I feel so bad (crying).

Answer 1

Your husband is a person who wants it all. He wants you, and I believe loves you, since he has married you and had his family with you. But he also wants to still be the carefree single guy who can date whomever catches his eye. He hasn't ever grown up. But he also can't stand the thought of you with someone else.

You need marriage counseling for sure. And I wish you the best. If he can't be the kind of husband you need, and the father your children need, then you would be better off without him. You deserve to be loved, and you deserve a faithful husband too.

I'm sorry he's made you cry. You deserve to be happy. Take care of yourself, and your children, and seek the support of friends and family in dealing with the problems in your marriage.

Answer 2

Well honey you've made plenty mistakes, something every woman who hasn't had kids with any man yet, you look at this personally carefully before you decide to sleep with them and take that chance. You made the mistake of thinking that just because you were married he would change. Why you thought this I don't know. Marriage isn't better than being single, in your case, it's worse. You've wasted your time and he's never going to change. He broke the bonds of marriage, not you so you have the right to divorce him and provide your children with a better environment. He can still see the children and be a father, just in case he decides not to you take care of those children. He wasn't the one for you, but you don't keep on going on and making the same mistakes over and over again. You have to change because that's the kind of man you attracted. Take some time to look over yourself, once a cheat always a cheat. Leave him while you have the chance, so you can move on with the rest of your life. Good luck!

Answer 3

You should have chosen wiser. Remember, you're the one that chose him. If you thought being married was going to change him, then you have a lot of learning to do about men. He will never change. He will always cheat on you. Remember that you chose him. It is just as much your fault as it is his. Now, get divorced, find a suitable husband who can also be a good role model for your children, and marry him. Marriage does not change a man. I repeat. Marriage does not change a man. He will stay the same for the rest of his life. Open your eyes. Your low self esteem is going to carry over to your children if you don't do something quick.

Answer 4

This guy has you living in heartbreak hotel. He doesn't seem like much of a father. You made a bad choice and for your sanity and the sake of your young ones, you have to leave and make a life in an environment that nurtures you and your young ones. Your husband will owe you for alimony and for child support. He has cheated on you and he will cheat on anyone else. You must harden your heart which is not in your nature, but you have no choice

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Please don't feel bad. You have already been punished enough by your husband. You have been treated very badly, time and time again. Your husband is being selfish and cruel, and now YOU are the one feeling like you did something wrong to your babies. My husband was a very selfish and cruel person also. He hurt me terribly and hurt my kids. I felt like "if I had just done this..." or "if I had just done that..." then things would be different and my kids wouldn't be hurting. Stop doing that to yourself. It robs you of your power to learn from this, to heal, to move on and model strength and self-respect to your children. Believe me, I did the very thing you are doing. We women are very good at torturing ourselves with guilt, especially when it comes to our children. Please remember that cheating is one of the highest forms of disrespect you can show to your partner/spouse. It is selfish and mean. It says that you have no regard for them and how you are hurting them. To be a repeat cheater is despicable. Your husband has left you many times. You have taken him back. By doing that, you are telling him it is okay to treat you as if you were disposable. You are precious. You matter. You are worth being treated with love, adoration and respect from the man you love. Your children are now depending on you. It isn't fair to them to think that how you are being treated and how their father is behaving is normal, because it isn't normal - or healthy. Don't your kids deserve to have the chance to learn what healthy love is supposed to be like so that when they have their own relationships in life, they will be happy in them? If you want to have guilt, then save it for when they are grown, because that's when this whole mess going on right now is going to affect them the most - IF you don't put a stop to it once and for all. Yes, your children are hurting. Yes, it tears your heart out and makes you incredibly sad. The good news is that children are often more resilient than us adults. If you take them out of a bad situation, it will be hard on them at first. They may be sad, then angry, then depressed, and on and on. They may blame you and even be hateful toward you (this all happened to me). Eventually, they will come to see that you did what was best for them (my children now know this, and I've been divorced almost 1-1/2 years).

Please, please show your children that it is NOT okay for a man to treat his wife the way you are being treated (nor is it okay for a wife to treat her husband the way your husband is treating you). Please show your kids that the sad life you are all living is not how it has to be, and that there CAN and WILL be a happier life for you all. Above all, please learn to love yourself more and not to be so hard on yourself. You sound like a wonderful mother, but a mother who has been mistreated so long by her husband that SHE is the one bearing the guilt for the behavior of the husband. Let your HUSBAND take responsibility for the hurt that his irresponsible and selfish actions have caused you and your children. He alone is responsible for his behavior and the consequences of his behavior. Please know that nobody deserves to be treated as you have been, and you DO deserve basic love and respect. Accept no less from anyone. Model this attitude to your kids, and despite any pain they may be going through now, they will be all right. Find someone to lean on who you can trust for moral support and then get your kids into counseling if that helps. Above all, don't bad-mouth your husband to your kids or in front of them. That hurts them just as much as what he is doing now. I wish you the best, and I hope you can hang in there and be strong. Above all, don't feel guilty.

Answer 7

i didnt read a lot of this, my ex wife was manic/bipolar and that is what this is most likely. ur husband needs help, and there isn't much you can do.

Answer 8

He's hurt you pretty badly. You need to take care of yourself and most importantly, you need to take care of the kids. They need stability in their lives. For their sake, you need to not take him back.
Stand strong for them.