My boyfriend and I are very active in the bedroom but it's like he gets there WAY b4 I do every time and it bothers him that he can't control his self better ,ANYONE have any advice to offer?
2007-02-09 18:13:44 · 13 answers · asked by pammi_b 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Ok there are two possibilities to consider. One is that it could be a problem with technique. There are lots of good answers on here already, ie speed you up by let him manually pleasure you more first or use a vibrator on your clit while he enters you (that does it for my gal). Or you could slow him down. What works for me is to thrust slowly until just before orgasm, then stop until the urge subsides and continue. I can do this once or twice and something seems to physically switch off. I keep the erection but it takes a long time for the orgasm to come back. This works particularly well for the second go-around of the evening. Stopping and starting sometimes messes up her build-up to orgasm it has also backfired to the point that I can't get off no matter how long i thrust, which is a dissapointment for her.
The second possibility is that your BF may have some erection issues he is ashamed of. Some men can achieve an erection easily, but can only maintain them during relatively consistent stimulation. Stopping for too long sometimes results in loss of firmness. The fear of this embarassing situation keeps them slowly thrusting to maintain the erection which results in quicker release, which the man generally blames on lack of stamina (better to be "quick shot" than "limp noodle"). One way to know if this is your BFs problem is to let him go down on you for 10 to 15 minutes. If he must manually stimulate himself while down there or needs some stimulation when he comes up for air before penetrating you this is likely his issue. It really is pretty common and it is unfortunate that our machismo leads to anxiety that often makes it even worse.
The instant cure is Viagra or one of the other ED pills. He can get them online without seeing a doctor by answering a few questions. You can even get them for him and tell him you heard from a friend that they really make sex amazing. If he takes it he will stay hard without stimulation and the confidence it gives him will really make him better in bed and let him relax and go for as long as you want it.
Be aware that if this is the case it is a very sensitive issue for him. You can help by putting him at ease when he is not constantly rigid, and be quick, even EAGER to stimulate him manually or orally to prepare him for penetration. Maybe tell him that many men don't maintain erection through out the foreplay, and let him know it is ok, because you are looking forward to making it grow again. If he is relaxed and not anxious, it will show in his confidence andperformance. Hey ladies in the bedroom we are just as nervous about our performance as you are about that little stretch mark or tiny bit of cellulite that shows when you move just so. Think how you would feel when your man tells that he is wild about that hot round but t of yours, when secretly you think it is a little too big. Same concept, build us up and we will show you a great time in the bedroom.
Hope this helps.
2007-02-09 19:31:57 · answer #1 · answered by Scott A 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are so many ways your b/f can learn self control, and most involve you in some way. If you have a chance, (and if you would have searched first), this question has already been anwered two or three times, check the other answers on this site, which answer this question.
2007-02-09 18:44:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-02-10 01:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The liberator is a great website to look at. http://www.liberator.com/askcourtney.php
That link above is to advice that a penthouse pet gave to someone in a somewhat similar situation. She's got a lot of great tips.
There are also other sexperts with interesting tips.
http://www.liberator.com/sexperts_gamma.php
2007-02-09 18:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
FOREPLAY. get him off with your hand or mouth (or both) first, then have him stimulate you for a while.
once you're stimulated (heck, maybe you'll come while his hands or face are on your pu$sy), and once he's had a chance to rest up for a bit, you should be able to have sex and he should last longer.
2007-02-09 18:41:05 · answer #5 · answered by Elaine T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try having him masturbate (or you could help) before you have sex. A second orgasm takes longer to achieve, so he will last longer when you have intercourse.
2007-02-09 18:16:58 · answer #6 · answered by aqx99 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Practice, parctice, practice.
2007-02-09 18:16:46 · answer #7 · answered by Dr Dee 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
http://www.emedicine.com/med/topic643.htm
2007-02-09 18:27:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your b/f to jerk off early on the day ya'll plan to have sex...thats what i do and i take forever now
2007-02-09 18:17:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Condoms. Two at once should do the trick!
2007-02-09 18:15:50 · answer #10 · answered by reslstancelsfutlle 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋