How do I make my husband understand that drinking is not ok. He has just been released from jail for abuse?

Question

I am doing everything I can to show my husband that not drinking is the way to go. I have stuck by him while he was in jail for abuse against myself and authorities. He demanded money from me tonight so he could go out. What next

Answer 1

The only way for him to quit is if he wants to quit. Alcohol and drugs are things that take fathers, husbands, and marriages. If he does not want help? For you, you are going to have growing problems if you do not get help. The best thing I did was go to an A.A. meeting and then to the meetings they have for family members of the alcoholic or drug abuser. Thirteen years after my divorce, my niece asked me if I wanted to go to a meeting, I only had to attend three meetings and the answers came. Those meetings and the meaning of them have given me a better life for the past ten years. If he does not go, you go and have a better life.

Answer 2

Threaten to leave if the drinking doesnt stop, no man should stand over his wife and demand anything, leave if you need to, maybe once your gone, he will see what his missing and get some help. Suggest that he go to AA - Alcoholics Annonymous, the problem is he had to really want to, you have to show him what he will be missing out on if he doesnt stop. I wish you luck, I have been there, seen it before and was over it, it took me 6 years but i'm so much better for it.

Answer 3

First off sweetie, kudos to you for being the supportive wife. Try to talk to him when you first wake up, or before bed. The fact that you stuck by him after putting his hands on you should be enough reason to listen to you. Let him know that u love him and want him to remain home with you because that's all you've wanted while he was locked up. Tell him that you want him to get help for himself more than you. If he doesn't listen, you might have to start thinking about walking away. That's not something you should have to deal with. He may not even get the message until you're gone. Sometimes you have to give them some space and let it be understood that your move could be permanent unless he gets help or agrees to change some things.

Answer 4

You cannot make someone do something he is unwilling to do just because you want him to stop. People do what is good for them because we tend to think, me, me, me. Criticizing him of course will never work either. Reward him when he's not drinking. Tell him how much you appreciate him when he's not drinking. Go to an Al anon group for support. It sounds like you need much more advice than we can give here. You need friends who understand and who can help you not to be an enabler.

Answer 5

Hon, you need to watch some Opra. You can not possibly change him. All you are going to do is drive yourself nuts. The only way for him to change is for him to want to change. And why should he? he can badger you for money and abuse you and get away with it. He probably likes things the way they are.

Answer 6

the thing you need to see is this no longer a choice with him, if it was it wouldn't be a problem. if he just got out of jail, and went right to the bottle, he is an addict. and there is little or nothing you can do to fix it. he will have to hit his bottim before he will even try to listen to you.

Answer 7

Get out now. This man will hurt you again, no question.
You can't make him understand anything. He has to come to whatever decisions he makes on his own.

YOU need to protect yourself and your children, if you have any.
Leave, and never look back.

Answer 8

Been there, done that...... He needs TREATMENT and after he does that, AFTER CARE and after that AA MEETINGS as much as possible............... He will have to change people, places and things....

Answer 9

You cannot. If you can find a job dump him and be at peace.

Answer 10

family intervention.
seek counseling.