What do you do if you find out your spouse has been cheating online?

Question

My husband is military and he has been corresponding with a woman in a way more than friends kinda way. I thought everything was great until I found out through his email account. Everyday he told me how much he loved me and how he could not live without me. We have been married for a year and together for 2 years. He doesn't know I know yet.

I would not even think about doing this to him. They are very intimate. they have exchanged pictures and shared a phone call which is as intimate as you can get from Iraq. They talk about sex and meeting when he comes home. Are there not any good guys left?

I think what I will do at first is ignore him for a few days which will drive him crazy. We have a scheduled time we chat everyday and if I am even a minute late he start freaking out thinking something has happened to me. So I think I will let him feel as bad as I feel for a few days.

Answer 1

I think you need to tell him you know!Being over in Iraq is really awful anyways.He needs to know how you feel and he needs to accept his role in this.Let him Chose his marriage or his online mistress.You are the one who is feeling the hurt make him own it!

Answer 2

Print out the emails; 2 copies. Put one copy in your bank deposit box and don't tell him EVER about this extra set. This is your proof in case anything happens to you or divorce takes place; especially important if you have children or there is some kind of abuse by the spouse. Sit down with him and tell him you know about the online affair and give him the emails. He may deny it or he may confess. Either way, he will feel guilty and will try to put some of the blame on you; "Why are you going through my personal email", etc. He will feel violated at this deception. Things will be very difficult for a while but let him know that cheating in your marriage is totally unacceptable and that you were following up on a gut instinct about the cheating, and you'd expect him to do the same if the tables were turned. Ask him if he wants to work on the marriage and give up the other woman, or if he wants to leave. Take it one day at a time. I'm sorry you have to go through this but it will make you a much stronger person in the end. Good luck.

Answer 3

Tough question and I bet there is a lot of people who might say the same thing: "I'll Kill Her And Him". Right? Well I think it is a part of life that hurts the most when you cheat on them or they cheat on you; because if you cheat on them your gonna feel bad when you come to contact with them. and if they cheat on you then you would completely lose your mind. I would confront the person A.S.A.P. before it starts gettin more intimate and more growthful, confront in a calm way; don't show others your weaknesses....

Answer 4

I'm a guy and i will be honest with u. I work offshore with alot of guys who r happily married, they say. I'm divorced by the way! They chat online all the time with other girls or you say women, i think it's just a thrill they get out of having someone else show them some kind of attention. Now, if he has actually met this person and came in contact with her then something needs to be done.. Counseling etc.......

Answer 5

What a painful discovery...my heart goes out to you. Trap him by asking him some initial questions so that you can see if he is willing to tell you the truth. If he isn't, then just tell him everything you know and tell him that if he wants the marriage with you to have a chance of continuing and working, he has to cut off contact with this other woman. Ask him to write to her in your presence, so that you can verify he is truly, sincerely telling her that the communication between them needs to stop immediately.

Answer 6

If you love the guy and can forgive and forget, confront him and tell him that he has to make a choice (either you or the online woman) If it doesn't stop now, it will continue. Good luck.

Answer 7

Why not do some introspection and discover what is lacking in your relationship which he is trying to seek outside. If there is nothing lacking then may be he is having a little fun without your knowledge. It may be habitual on his part.

Answer 8

Talking to someone on line is not considered cheating it only defines ones ability to get a relationship started.

Answer 9

Premarital, extramarital or unwed sexual activities (intercourse / coitus) are not barred / prohibited and are no offence in any Indian law. Wife’s sexual intercourse with other/s is also no offence, hence no prosecution or punishment to her. Even her sex partner also cannot be punished, if was unaware of her wedlock or had sex with consent or connivance of her husband. However the police cannot arrest or prosecute him. After divorce also her husband is bound to maintain or pay till she remarries, even if she is permanently / continuously enjoying sex with all other/s. Pre marital sexual experiences (intercourse / coitus) with other/s cannot be a ground to seek divorce under Hindu/Special Marriage Act. Thus a female’s physical sexual relations with persons/s of her choice (with their consent) is not an offence or prohibited / barred in any Indian law and she is at liberty to enjoy freely and fearlessly. A male’s physical sexual relations with any 16+ female (with her consent) is no offence or barred / prohibited in any Indian Law, unless she is in the wedlock of somebody else and is done knowing her wedlock and without her husband’s consent or connivance. Courts are bound to believe that all children born during the wedlock are her husband’s legitimate ones. He is bound to maintain or pay them expenses, till sons are 18+ and daughters are married. Prostitution (commercial sex trade, offering sex for monetary gain) alone is an offence punishable in Indian laws.

However all unwed, premarital, extramarital physical sexual relations are not good, resulting in dissatisfied marital lives, AIDS / STD, and births of bastards/ illegitimates, who mostly think/plan/act perversely & contrary to nature, causing all mischief/disorder/disturbance in the world. Such sexual relations put spouses in search for more betters, and destroy joyful marital lives usually resulting in divorces. High % of divorces and children of broken families are threat to the peaceful world.

. All unwed sexual activities (pre/post/extra marital), homosexual acts, & other perverted sexual acts are specifically forbidden in Islam. In Islam, it is great sin and heinous crime against government/society punishable with publicly lashing/ death by pelting stones.

Answer 10

file for divorce dont wait dont talk just do it.. this is wrong and it shouldnt be happening i dont care if he is in the military so what file now..