HEARTBREAK: I put on 20 pounds, then i started addiction, now its depression - and i am still 20 pounds?

Question

over weight
and i really need to get rid of this extra weight

in between my eating habbits went out of the window, I also started drinking - and a few bad habbits including smoking

I am now depressed with the way i look and do not know what i should do cause i am sick of the way i look, and would really like to get my life back in order, however i do now know where to start

or how to start

i need to do this bymyself, but i need advice on how, and what i should do

also since everyone around me has someone it kind of hurts more, Gosh!! I am really really feeling lost

Please help,

seeking advice

DESPERATELY

Answer 1

OMG I totally have been there...I had always been pretty "petite", somehow I began gaining weight, aside from always watching my intake and excercising regularly i couldn't get rid of it.

I became depressed and obsessed with the weight gain, began excersicing even more and eating less, gaining more and feeling worst...I went to the extreme of being so embarrassed about my appearance that i stopped going places, to the point that I had my husband make me a special entrance to and from my mailbox from my back yard so that my neighbors would not see me go out to get the mail. I reached a total of 60 overweight lbs.

I would cry every time there was a family gathering because somehow my weight increase was always pointed out, I felt i ruined all of my babies pictures, so i preferred not to take any with them, I dreaded the cruel ways of people sterotyping me because of my weight...I learned to be my own enemy.

It wasn't until I had a sincere heart to heart talk with a friend that understood my feelings, (because nobody else did, not even my husband...he was the cruelest) and my depression that I saw a different aspect of the extra weight i was caring.

I began to gain the weight because i was always afraid i'd be "fat",as a child i was brainwashed to believe i'd grow up to be fat, and lazy: when i married, my husband was always harrassing me about not getting fat:
so what this friend made me realize was that I was carrying the 60 extra lbs of sorrow, fear and cruelty that lead to self pitty and morbidness through out these 2 years I had been angry at everyone who kept hurting me more instead of helping me.
my friend made me realize that I had let go of who I truly was because of my fear of rejection for gaining this ugly sense of"fat". I let the weight gain on me by eating everyones bullfood of negativity,not cupcakes and pizza: by feeling uglier and uglier each day, by crying a bit more each time another clothing piece did not fit.It was the most awful time of my life...diets, nutritionists, counseling, hormone tests,obsessive hours of extreme excersice, nothing would work...

My friend worked hard with me everyday, peptalks, reminding me of who I was under the outer layers, reminding me of my capabilities and strengths, i continued to excercise not for my husband or my family, but for me! my friend and i worked on a nutrition plan ..i would eat almost everything i wanted but only in smaller portions, eliminating all carbonated drinks and juices, If i happened to go on a binge, i'd have to walk an extra 2 miles for that day...you have to be honest and strong with yourself , stick to your objective regardless of how you look or feel...
I could go on and on, but i'll cut it short...after 3 months of positive thinking, regaining my self, accepting my body and knowing i could change it, eating well and crying no more...i lost 40 lbs! (no drugs, no expensive gyms or diets) and gained 2x more the confidence i had when i was petite; after all the motivation and hard work there was an unexpected surprise...I became pregnant! back to the crying, I was so afraid to gain and not lose again at first...then i snapped out of it. I kept a positive mind , was careful about my intake and hours of eating, continued to walk, and enjoyed my expanding self rather than consumming myself in negativity. i did gain back up to being 60lbs overweight, but this time I just kept in mind that it would slowly come off as i worked on it at my leisure not caring about what others had to think or say. i accepted it, and have now lost a bit over 45lbs...

I know it's hard, but I know it can be done.
Do the healthy things you like to do, for now you have an etra 20 lbs, so dress them up...
make yourself feel pretty all the time and work your mind back to shape first, heal your heart and the rest will just fall into place. My misery had company: so i got rid of it...get negative influences out of your life, let go of resentments and regrets. Accept who you are for knowing that you are more that just what people see and you'll see that others will see that real you outside of the extra weight. I send you a great hug of sympathy and encouragement...I know you can do it!

Answer 2

Your headed in the right direction you hate the way you look, so you’re asking what to do about? Deep down you know what to do. Cut back on you food intake, lie of the bread and fatty foods, and work out 3 to four times a week, from taking long walks and riding your bike ice staking. Just keep look yourself in the mirror until you see the person you use to be.

I tell you I walked past a mirror same four years a go butt naked and saw something I don’t I promised myself I had to lose the weight 9 months later I lost 75 pounds and I felt better looked better and my sex drive want out of the roof.

Just sat your mind to, and keep busy try not to sat around and think about it’s time to eat, but make sure you do.

Good luck I hope this helps you.

Answer 3

If at all possible, join Weight Watchers. I lost 50 lbs on it, so it does work. If you can't afford it, then do some searching around on the net for sites with Weight Watchers recipes that you can try on your own.

When shopping for food, try to always buy 'low-fat' or 'sugar free' products. Just cutting back on fat and sugar will help you lose. Drink lots of water, all day long too.
Good Luck!

Answer 4

there is something u need to learn from life, and when u are ready your new partner will appear in your life, first i would begin going to weight watchers, stop drinking, as it really doesn't solve anything. it just keeps u from solving troubles. sometimes we just need to embrace our hurts face them, and learn from them first. your new relationship will show up, but there are things u must learn first. drinking and addictions are only a way of running from your hurts, before we can move on sometimes we have to face the hurts and learn from them, before we are able to move on and be with someone else.

Answer 5

You need a shrink! and a dietician.