So here is the situation, My soon to be ex wife moved 100 miles away from me with our 2 boys (3 1/2 and 1 1/2). We have joint custody of the kids and I see them 3 weekends per month. I also pay her $1000.00 in court ordered child support. She also got the Lincoln Navigator in the separation (gas guzzler) We had an arraignment that we meet half way to drop off and pick up the kids. Now she said that she spends $100 on gas just to drop off and pick up the kids so she said that if I want to see them I need to meet her closer to her new house. The site that she wants to meet at is 17 miles from her house and 83 from mine. While I miss and love my kids very much and look forward to our time together I do feel that this is unfair. This weekend will be the first weekend for this type of arraignment. Now I can agree to go pick them up and then say if she wants them back she needs to drive 80 miles and get them. Or do I bite the bullet and agree to her terms?
Thanks in advance.
2007-02-09 17:10:15 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would contact the court and advise them of situation.
if she wont agree on a fair solution. in the meanwhile do what she asks for the sake of the kids and also you look good in the eyes of the court as the one who is trying to be fair.
2007-02-09 17:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by turtle 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well i can see why she left you, you're nothing more than a big ol' baby
why would you agree to HER terms, agree to the COURTS terms. You had an arrangement to meet half way, what is the problem here? You pay child support. That money for childsupport, includes the gas to meet with you.
When are you going to get some balls and stand up forself? Don't let people walk all over you you're whole life.
ok, another thing you could do is tell her find, I'll drive 83miles, and you only drive 17 miles.... BUT just so you know, i'll be deducting my expenses from the child support. Girls can be real b*tches, which i'm sure you already know. Be a b*tch back. But like another guy said, be nothing but smiles in front of the kids.
Sorry to hear your soon to be ex is such a hag. And i reccomend finding a better laywer. For joint custody, you sure don't see your kids much.
2007-02-10 01:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by Chrissy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know this is difficult.
It is awful that you had to move away.
She is the mother of two little ones. And I can't imagine her keeping this arrangment up. Actually either of you keeping this schedual up. Not to mention the trauma to the babys.
If she wants things to change, you need to have a judge make a change. Document everything you do concerning this.
The courts deal in facts, not feelings.
You might just have to do what you need to do to see those kids.
I would say she needs to sell that car and get one that is easy on gas. And yes it is costly to her to drive to take and pick up the kids. Get proof that she spends that much. A judge would figure out what you each spend and perhaps split the costs. This might cost YOU money. This complication should of been thought of before any legal agreement.
I wish I had answers for you. All I can say is that you might need the DA to settle this for you and if that is costly, suggest to your X to sell the car and get a more effecient one.
2007-02-10 01:23:13 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, another messy situation that has the kids in the middle--and it shouldn't be that way--if you want to see them, no amount of money or gas should keep them from you. These terms are set and as time goes on it might change--just remain calm and don't make comments in front of the children---keep it all cheerful and nice for the kids--they have not done anything to you. Just do it for a while and avoid the issues--give it a break for a while--relax and just be nice. Good luck and sorry to hear about your break up
2007-02-10 01:17:35 · answer #4 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it is in the court order tell her that it is court ordered for her to drive half way. if it was verbal then you either do as she asks or have her keep the kids 2 weekends and you have them 2 then she won't have to drive so much. you might suggest that she trade in that gas guzzler for a more economic car so she can keep her part of the deal with the kids. i see that the divorce isn't final you should make sure your lawyer puts in the final legal papers that because she chose to move so far away she should have to drive half way or that she gets less support because you are driving farther than her for the drop off whatever your agreement make sure it is in writing in your divorce papers. you should do what ever you have to do to be able to see your kids cuz boys need to be with their dads
2007-02-10 01:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by bubbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go get the kids and take them back home. With that gas guzzler she has, she's going to be spending more than $100 on it per month without including the trips to meet you half way. She may be finding out things aren't so easy like she thought they would be.
2007-02-10 01:16:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are already suffering. You two have caused them to suffer and with all the drama, they are going to suffer more.
Your saying it is unfair to you? Isn't it unfair to the kids to be pulled back and forth by you and your ex-wife and driving many miles away just to see one parent? Or to hear about how much gas it takes to use? How much more damage are you two going to do to these kids?
So sad that this had to happen. Because the kids are in the middle and have to suffer while two people are fighting over in how far to live or drive! You two definitely need to grow up.
If you want to see your kids, you will do what it takes to see them. Otherwise, move closer to them.
2007-02-10 01:21:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should bite the bullet for the kids sake.
But you could try to convince her to meet you more than her 17 mile drive. That isn't fair. I agree.
2007-02-10 01:16:38 · answer #8 · answered by Proud Grandma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only agree to the 50/50 that was set up in the first place.
Look at the court order and see if it is in there.
Good Luck
2007-02-10 01:13:50 · answer #9 · answered by zen522 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If the arrangement is in the court order than she is in violation. You can take her to court if you want. Even if it isn't you can tell the court that she's making agreements and then breaking them and using the distance to keep the children from you. Request that the court order you to meet halfway.
As a single dad in the past, I salute you for fighting to keep a relationship with your children. Keep the faith.
2007-02-10 01:17:27 · answer #10 · answered by tranquility_base3@yahoo.com 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋