should i tell him to go or try again?

Question

he is cold with me he spend time more in his computer then with me and our kids. every time he is at home is like he is not at home everything is the same. i take care of my kids and do every thing around the house, i take out my kids to the park. i feel lonely. i don't have no where to go and talk, my mom is not here anymore she died . i'm tired of trying and doing my part.

i try to spend time with him but he ignores me i tell him "the kids are asleep do you want to watch tv?"
he will tell me he will be rigth there, after an hour or so he will appear,

Answer 1

I'm tired too. Do you love him? Then try to work it out. Have you had enough? Then leave. Haven't decided. Sit down with him and at least talk. It takes two to make a relationship.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. This is all too common. Most men feel lonely after they have kids because their wives put all their attention on the children. His is unhappy right now because he doesn't know his place in the home. Unfortunately, he has some growing up to do. I'd say, kicking him out is a last resort because it is too hard on the kids. Try giving him some special attention (if you know what I mean) and see if he gets happy again. Otherwise you need to have a serious talk, starting with something like, "do you still love me?" or "are you happy?"

As a man who has been through this, and having seen this come up with friends and online here, I have an idea what he's going through. He needs time to find his new role in life, not as single man trying to get the woman, but as the backbone of the family. He needs to get used to not being the center of attention, but to develop some healthier interests besides going on the internet and probably doing things he shouldn't.

Kicking out is the last resort and is bad for the children. Talk or tell him to stay at a friend's place for two weeks.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Your husband is probably spending too much time on the computer because he feels neglected. Everything you say here, you have done for the kids, and that is good, but what have you done for him? He needs appreciation too, he needs respect too, he needs love too. So what are you doing for him to have those things?

You need to sit down with him, disconnect the computer, and tell him that you would like to spend some time with him. Put the kids to sleep, come back to the room with him and make him feel appreciated by thanking him for doing what he does to support you and the kids. Give him a shoulder and neck massage and move on from there.

The next time you take the kids to the park, do it on the weekends and invite your husband to go. Make it a family time at the park. Or, you two go out to dinner alone, get a baby sitter to watch your kids. You should at least spend time together going out, once a week alone.

I would then consider on reading, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage".

Answer 4

Sorry to hear that your mom passed. Basically, you do need to tell your hubby that you're alone and you need someone to talk to. Make sure you tell him exactly how you feel and what things you would like to change. You two are suppose to be a team, not him having his life and you having yours. If that's the case, why are you two married.

Talk to him. Let him know you can't go on like this. If he makes the effort to change, stay and work it out. If things change for a little while or he makes no effort to change whatsoever, look into getting out. Life is too short to be miserable all the time. You deserve to be happy as well. Good luck!

Answer 5

most wives feel that .. you are not alone.. maybe that is one of the reason why there's a tv show "Desperate Housewives". Do you still want to keep the marriage? Talk to your husband . Tell him how you feel. Being husbands can also be hard on men as well. They too feel the stress of having mouths to feed. Arrange a special night with just the two of you. Seduce him . Maybe you just need to spice up the relationship. You can try to join groups as well where you can meet new people. Ask your husband to join as you well. Work on it before giving up.Hope this helps!

Answer 6

Tell him how you feel. Tell him that his time on the computer is time not spent with the great times with his children. If you are lonely then tell him, if he doesen't understand you are with the wrong person. He needs to know what he is missing out on and that you would really like quality time with him doing things you don't want to tell anyone else... entice him... tell him how much he is missing out on and see what he says. I hope this helps Take care Heather

Answer 7

I was in this sit before. tell him how you feel, give him some time to digest it. are you married? How long? Be honest. tell him you are considering leaving see if that changes. If not, kick him out as humanly as possible, that might wake him up. You have to be strong for you and your kids. What are your arrangements. Are you military? do you live away from family? you can email me emails the same as my name here. I know how you feel.

Answer 8

Tell him how you feel, the best way I was able to get through to my computer junkie ex husband was to email him and tell him how I felt and he chose to ignore it so now we are divorced.

Good luck

Answer 9

Most women who are married feel this way. It is up to US to shake it up. Get out and be happy, or put your sweet little foot down.... HARD!

He'll probably enjoy it

Answer 10

a relationship is always supposed to be 50/50 talk to him and if he cant change leave his *** on the curb and find someone better for you