I just recently asked a question about getting an abortion or not......
I am the one who said I am 27 and my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion........ I just want to clear some things up...... I want to keep our baby, I never said that 75,000 yearly was poor.... my point was that I think we make enough money, I think at my age and at this time in my life i could have this baby and be a good mother, i want to convince him that having an abortion is not the answer. who is ever "really" prepared for a child anyways....OH Yeah and I know first thing about adoption because I am an adopted child myself I guess the advice I was looking for is how can I tell him that I dont want this abortion because the only reason i would get it is because he wants me to if he wanted this baby i would never have thought of an abortion.
2007-02-09 15:57:48 · 36 answers · asked by just like you 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I just read your first question, and I thinik that your bf is worried about having another baby because of his previous situation. If a marriage didnt work out for him, and he only sees his son every 2 months, then maybe he is worried about you guys having a baby, and splitting up, and only seeing this baby once in a while too. I would try to reasure him that you will not restrict his visitation if anything were to happen to you two. If you are willing you could even offer to move so that the baby would be close to his father, if he gets stationed somewhere, if he is still in the army. I would cancel your appointment for the abortion, and wait a few more weeks, you have time to figure this out and not react rashly.
I have a gf that had an abortion at 18 because her younger bf didnt want it. Later in life when she did have babies she always wondered what their baby would have looked like, what it would have been. And then she went through that all over again when he started having babies too. I would like you to try and talk to your bf, if you dont want to have an abortion he should respect that. He may deside that he doesnt want to be around, but I think he is a decent guy who is scared, and I dont think he would leave you stranded over this. Good Luck.
2007-02-09 16:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by krickee 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Congrats on sticking to your own view and feelings. I'm pro-choice, and you've made your choice. Don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. You want to convice him that having an abortion is not the answer? I didn't read your first Q so I don't have that extra background. However, I think its obvious that yes, you're right - based on 75,000, your age, your choice etc you can have the baby and be a wonderful mother. Your BF is using abortion as an excuse. You'll never convince him an abortion is not the answer because the reason he wants you to have the abortion is not the reason he is telling you. Maybe he's afraid of the lifelong commitment to the child...(and you)...not money. Maybe he doesn't want a life long relationship with you, but hasn't told you yet or isn't sure, but he wants an escape route just in case and having a baby with you would make that almost impossible. Maybe he knows/thinks you'll eventuall split/he doesn't want to marry you and so he's trying to avoid paying child support. Mayeb he's just afraid to be a father. Think hard about this. I hardly think money is his true reason. So focusing on the money will do no good. Get the the root of the problem and you'll get the the tip of your answer up high and be able to look out on everything and see what he's hiding or not revealing. Good luck!
~ VW
2007-02-09 16:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by Violet Wisdom 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You want your baby, then you keep your baby! I was pregnant with my daughter and my now EX wanted an abortion at the time. The only reason why I would have considered would be because I wanted to be with him, but I realized that my own flesh and blood is way more important than a boyfriend who may never last anyways!! I had her and I thank God I did! You will to if you decide to keep your little one. Whatever decision you make needs to be about what you want. Sounds like you know what you want. If you have an abortion then you will only be doing it for him and in the long run how are you going to feel about it? He may not be around and even if he is it doesn't matter, because you have already decided to you want the baby. This is really hard for me to try and tell you, but I went through what you are going through right now. My advice is to keep your baby. If he leaves then oh well, as hard as it may be and it will be hard to let him go, it will be better, because you don't want someone around who doesn't want your baby either. He's not a bad guy for his feelings and I'm not trying to say that, but what is best for you? You are the one who the baby is growing inside of. If you had an abortion you would be the one to live with it. I hope you will see what I am saying. I'm basically your future in a sense if you make the descision to keep the baby, because I was in your shoes 5 years ago. Please hear what I am saying about this. Don't do it for him!! No matter what he says and if you think you'll be together. Things change, but if you give up your baby to abortion you can never change that!
2007-02-09 16:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by lees girl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I answered your other question, but wanted to add some additional thoughts here. If you abort your baby for your boyfriend, you will never forgive yourself. No man is worth the life of your child. Boyfriends come and go, but your baby is your baby forever. Statistically speaking, most relationships break up after an abortion.
Just tell him straight up, "I am not aborting this child. I am not putting myself at risk." Do not allow him to manipulate you. Don't feel sorry for him. He is a grown man and I'm sure he is well aware that sex can result in pregnancy.
You are going to need to be strong and do the right thing. You can't control his response. That is his responsibility. Your responsibility is to protect your child. Listen to your maternal instincts.
And by the way, hon, congratulations on your pregnancy. You can take joy in the new life within you even in the midst of these circumstances. You are allowed to do that, okay?
2007-02-10 04:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want the baby keep it, your the one thats going to cary it for 9 months and give birth not the boyfriend and actually by law the man has no say in what you do when it comes to a woman wanting an abortion or wanting to keep the baby.
I had a baby at 17 without the dad in the picture, If I can do it so can a 27 year old and in time he may come to want the baby and love it.
Your bf sounds childish, if he did not want a baby he should of been more careful
2007-02-09 16:07:39 · answer #5 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry but if your man just doesnt want to have your baby then what are you with him for! Do you not have a mind of your own!?! Think about where you'd be right now if your mother had aborted you! You wouldnt have the choices, and family or the chance to, would you? Dont kill this baby! especially because a man TELLS you to! Men are suppose to love everything and anything their loves do. They are suppose to live life with the women they have lives with, and share their lives.
Not dictate!!!!!!!!
2007-02-09 16:10:44 · answer #6 · answered by missjewl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT HAVE AN ABORTION. Babies are not accidents, they are a blessing from God. (Although, when they reach their teenage years you will ask yourself why you had them. HA..HA) If your boyfriend doesn't want the baby then go it alone. If he is willing to kill his own child, then he is not worth your time. Move on and quickly. Yes you are only 27 but if you let this opportunity pass you by you may never get another chance. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-02-09 16:11:51 · answer #7 · answered by vstar_silverado 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Having an abortion because someone else is forcing you will leave you severely emotionally scarred. It doesn't matter if he wants it or not... its whether you want this baby. This baby is already alive inside you...please don't kill it.
You just need to sit down and be honest with him. Tell him you want this baby and you don't believe in abortion.
When my fiance found out I was pregnant he told me to have an abortion, even though he knew I didn't believe in it. Well, I left, and am now living with my parents. The situation sucks, but every time I feel my little baby kick me, I feel SO happy that I kept her.
2007-02-09 16:04:46 · answer #8 · answered by shugarmagnolia420 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you don't want an abortion, Don't get one. You will end up resenting him for the rest of your relationship. If u want this baby and he doesn't maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship not the pregnancy. And as far as "convincing" him if he has his mind made up nothing anyone can say on here is going to change it. It is time to stand up for your baby...a baby YOU want.
I wish you the best.
2007-02-09 16:05:56 · answer #9 · answered by Who Me? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him tell how much you really want this baby and how you want to me a mom have him go to www.abort73.com and that will show him what abortion does to the baby and the baby feels it,it explains everything on that web site maybe that will change his mine maybe trying doing what I did Back when I was pregnant . I told my boyfriend that the abortion clinic has to show us this before are final decision . and it worked He wasn't up for a abortion after he seen it now we have a beautiful 2 year old. good luck to you
2007-02-09 16:05:58 · answer #10 · answered by vixen 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋