I am having an affair with a seperated man.. is this wrong?

Question

I have recently started having an affair with a very good friend of mine who has seperated from his abusive, alcoholic wife. It started as offering of advice and listening to his troubles, but has developed into something wonderful. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Don;t say he is on the rebound because I know when I look into his eyes he thinks a great deal of me, it isn;t just comfort sex. Do you think I should wait for his divorce to come through, or is it okay to be going out with him when he is only seperated? We all live in a small town, people talk.... help!

Answer 1

If you live in a small town like I do, everyone already KNOWS.

Answer 2

I am in the same position (with a seperated man) but I would not call it an affair after all they have seperated. In my circumstance they have been seperated for over a year and I know he is still dealing with it but is serious about what we have. Do what feels good and right for you - Follow your Heart. Just remember he is going to love her for a long time so the divorce might not happen for a long time, but it doesnt mean it wont happen, so if you really think this could be a longterm/lifetime thing, stick it out he may well just be worth it. Dont rush him into settling the divorce, time heals all wounds and it takes alot of time to settle a divorce - just go with it and see where it takes you. People with nothing better to do like to talk, let them talk. Best Wishes xxx

Answer 3

I say, you only live once and if you are both happy why wait for the divorce. Sometimes it takes years for divorces to go through. Who knows what could happen by then. You never know what tomorrow brings. As long as you know he's going through wtih it for sure. So stop worrying over what the gossip bags are talking about if they are talking about you they are leaving someone else alone. Besides it's not really an affair if he's seperated. It would be different if he was still with his wife. Just take it slow and be happy

Answer 4

Technically you're having an affair with a married man, which is wrong. No matter how this divorce turns out, wheather it's amicable or nasty...you are the other women, which would make divorce proceedings pretty simple for her attorney There are two sides to every story and you probably only heard his. It takes two to make or break a marriage.

Since you asked the question, I suspect you already know the answer.

Answer 5

I can only tell you this:
If you feel guilty or wrong about what you're doing, it's not going to improve with age. I'd say keep things pretty casual until the divorce is final.
On a side note: It might be a nice thing for you to hold off and let him do his rebound action before the two of you get more serious. I know that's hard, but letting him blow off some steam would do the two of you a world of good.

Answer 6

I don't think it's wrong. But you should be very careful. He may not hurt you on purpose, but these things often end up bad. Sometimes they go back to their wives or the wives plot some kind of revenge on you. You can also have problems with his children and friends. I would avoid dating a separated man just because you could get really hurt.

Answer 7

I don't like to "throw water on your fire", so to speak, but the key word here is "separated", not divorced. Until you see this man's final divorce papers in person, I would suggest you back off in a hurry. This man may be the most wonderful person on earth, but until he is legally free, you are setting yourself up for alot of misery and pain, because there is always the possibility of his "alcoholic and abusive" wife turning her life around if she learns of your affair with her husband, and if there are children involved, it just adds to the potential problems that could come up. If he truly loves you, he would respect your wishes and do the honorable thing for you, and even for himself. Loneliness is not a good thing, but neither is adultery, and that is what you're doing. I wish you the best, and good luck.

Answer 8

First of all friends don't sleep together. A real friend is there in a time of need, not to be take advice of. There is two sides to every story.

If he is still marriage to his wife and having a affair with you, her is commit adultery. What do you think he will do to you? HELL IS HOT!!!

If you want to be a real friend, stop what you are doing. Again HELL IS HOT!!!!

Answer 9

Yes it is wrong for having an affair with seperated man....Wait for his divorce...

Answer 10

Sounds like someone could get hurt. He most likely isn't ready for a new serious relationship. He just needs a therapist to talk to and has picked you instead and probably needs someone to feel close too. His wife probably is going to be difficult to deal with and not let go of their relationship and will probably be around for awhile. Approach with caution he is very vulnerable and probably not ready for a new commitment. Don't move too fast.

--kindness

Answer 11

there is no smoke without fire.
every problem has two faces.
if any one scold us, there is another part hidden within us.
collectively thinking about all the above, now you reconsider the aggressive love having with your boyfriend.

men are doing things through their brain but women are driven by their heart.

check the abusiveness and alocoholic nature of your boyfriend's wife, so called separated, and try to get the glimpse of the iceberg.

if you have strong affinity, try to check the originality of that love by separating yourself with him for at least a week. saturday to friday. then your heart shall guide the right thing.

if you are sure for your heart, just ignore the gossips, and the people's talk.

GOOD LUCK.