ok so i just found out that the person who i considered to be my best friends for the past 3-4 yrs doesn't even consider me to be one of her closest three friends..i really thought a lot of her and i really thought we were best friends but apparently not. what do i do??? i'm freaking out here :(
2007-02-09 15:41:31 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She can still be your best friend, but why do you have to be her best friend? You need to develop a larger group of friends so that things like this don't set you into a tail spin. You can have tons of friends with just a few close ones to rely on.
2007-02-09 15:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by mamabear1957 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Lord works in mysterious ways, man! What seems to suck now, will show itself down the road.
Mark my words guy! Don't worry about it! Have a great weekend. Check out some NEW friends.
Happy Valentines Day!
2007-02-09 23:57:35 · answer #2 · answered by Credit Expert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her...just ask her why she doesn't feel that you two can be close friends..wouldn't you be curious to want to know why?
I have certainly been in your shoes...but, even if I was hurting..I think that I did speak up about it...I decided that if I wasn't the closest friend, to her from HER point of view, I would still say, from MY point of view, she was mine! I even told my friend this...to which she was a little surprised..as to why I chose to tell her in the first place...but, I just really wanted to tell her...that's all! I had been told by her, that she just considered me only a friend...not "the best friend" or "the closest" friend that she had at that time...which in realityl...I noticed that her "best friends" that she had had,,,,they had all moved far away...(one got married, moved to another state, had kids,and when she would visit, she never or rarely called my friend..which I thought was odd! and I also wondered why..and I ALSO brought this up to her..which didn't make her feel so wonderful...but, I was just trying to get her to "face reality" about how close a friend this person was now!) The other friend that was supposedly also a best friend...and also an ex neighbor...she never called my friend either!! I had wondered why...and I also talked to my friend about this..to which I think that she was in a strong denial about the whole issue! I think that my friend didn't want to face the facts that her friends had "moved on" with their lives...and without her...because a good friend usually stays in contact with you...at least that is MY true feelings on this...if they cared enough...(of course there is such a thing as accidently losing one's address, or something like that...so I can understand!) however, I think that these people were quite deliberate in what they did towards her! I really do!
I will say, that before I got married last summer, I had to end the friendship with her as well...it was quite painful to say the least!!! No joke here! But, she had become more than clingy..and was always "on the look-out " for me, or my car...even when I went out with my other friends....she wanted me all to herself...she also didn't trust me, and or kept things from me,and lied to my face about stuff....there were things thru out my long years of friendship(and we are talking roughly 35+ years here) that I really should have ended the friendship in the first place...as it was soooo unhealthy! I ,myself, had to reevaluate "just what makes a "GOOD FRIEND" you know?! I also had to really think what MY feelings were....what I wanted out of a good friend....I wanted respect, honesty, truth, dignity, caring, openess, friendship, love,(not romantic love) and comraderie...where you can tell that friend anything..and they won't get super angry at/with you...and they will listen and honestly care for/about you...and will be proud and or happy in whatever endeavors you happen to be doing..in your life..and won't be playing games and or be constantly competing with you..and be jealous of your other friendships! etc..etc.. etc...!
These things are important..and YOUR FEELINGS, are just as important...do not "rationalize" everything..as I once did...I got to the point where I kept on blaming myself...a lot of the time..in this friendship...I was also totally "enmeshed" in this friendship..and this is what another old school friend told me about how she saw my friendship with this person! My family and friends all told me, to "let this person go! that she had a multitude of problems,and was just dragging me downward in an unhealthy spiral"...so I say to you...think about what YOU WANT!! out of this friendship...if you want to confront it...or leave it alone, and not worry about her,and this friendship ,and be close with others...before you DO anything...think hard about it..and then decide for yourself....but, it is great that you asked here....as there are some great answers to be found on yahoo answers!
Good luck!
2007-02-10 00:09:02 · answer #3 · answered by ladyk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then you know what kind of person she is now.
you know what she thinks of you.
i know that it sucks not to be considered a fren when you've considered that person a fren.
this just lets you know where you stand and where she stands too.
maybe she doesnt see things the way you do.
talk to her.
2007-02-09 23:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by ladybleu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, evidently you were wrong. You like her and she does not like you. Simple matter - move on to the next friend.
2007-02-09 23:46:24 · answer #5 · answered by geoffgilsey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋