What do you think about the swinging lifestyle?

Answer 1

Speaking from personal experience (my wife and I have had an open marriage for several years), and speaking from my experience from knowing many swinging couples (we are friends with many) I can say with complete confidence that it is a wonderful lifestyle for those who enjoy it and are in a strong relationship built on true love and trust without a great deal of jealously. It is not the best choice for everyone, but it is an excellent option for many people. It is important to play as safe as possible, but with a bit of common sense the risks can be minimal. (Of course you can't completely eliminate all risks, but virtually everything fun and rewarding involves some element of risk. You can't even drive to a see a concert or a movie without putting yourself and numerous other people at some risk, so it is all a matter of perspective.) I would also add that the rewards of an open relationship can go way beyond mere physical pleasure. Depending on your intelligence, personality, spirituality, and the type of erotic adventures you choose, the rewards of an open relationship can include deep bonds of friendship, love (deeper love for your partner as well as for your friends), and an overall healthy spiritual life. I know this is wildly counterintuitive to most people, but this is only because society has poisoned our minds against non-monogamy options. I have answered several questions related to sexuality and spirituality, so if you are interested, you can look up some of my previous answers.

Answer 2

My wife and I have been swingers for several years and have had a great time at it. We've met many wonderful people that have become better friends than most of our non-swinger friends.

The lifestyle is so much more than most people ever really know. And it's hard to explain it to most people, too, because they've already made-up their minds based on hearsay, personal insecurities and biases, and simply wrong information. And many of these don't want to find-out the truth either, because it would challenge their beliefs.

It's like trying to explain why you skydive to someone who's never done it, and worse yet is afraid of heights. They can't understand why you'd jump out of a perfectly good airplane and they really don't want to find-out why, either. So they base their opinion on their personal fears and biases. And, I've always found, those with the most closed and unchangeable opinions are always those with the least amount of facts to back them up.

Here is some truth about swinging:

ASSUMPTION: Those who swing must not be in love or have a bad relationship.

TRUTH: Although there are some who get into swinging to try to "fix" a marriage or relationship on the rocks, most swingers do not fit this scenario. Most swingers are very, very much in love with each other and swing as an extension of their already great relationship and sex life together. Those that do have a rocky relationship don't stay in the lifestyle long since it just adds one more thing for them to fight about. Of course, these are the only ones you hear about from supposed "professional" marriage counselors and talk show hosts because healthy, happy couples never go to counseling.

ASSUMPTION: Swinging destroys relationships.

TRUTH: In almost all cases, especially when swinging is done for the right reasons (meaning not to try to "fix" a waning relationship) swinging actually improves the relationship. In a 2000 study done by Bellarmine University the researchers found:

"Among swingers, is there a relationship between swinging and marital happiness? Two questions on the survey – one which asked about their relationships before swinging and the other about them after swinging – are cross-tabulated in Table 15. As the data shows, 62.6% of swingers found that swinging improved their marriages/relationships, 35.6% said their relationships stayed about the same, and only 1.7% said they became less happy. Even among those who said their marriages were "Very Happy" prior to swinging nearly half (49.7%) said they became happier. Among those with the most unhappy marriages 90.4% said their relationship became happier after swinging. It appears that, at least among the sample of swingers used in this research, swinging tends to improve the perceived quality of the couples' marriages regardless of how satisfying it was before swinging."

Can't argue with facts.

For good, honest and accurate information about the swinger lifestyle, please check-out The Swingers Board. You'll find lots of real information there from newbie and veteran swingers alike.

Answer 3

if your relationship can handle it i say more for you.. thats fantastic but well sometimes you think you can handle it and then it backfires but i know alot of swingers and have known people that had different couples together for over 14 years and then they got married because they loved each other so much .. and still together swinging and we have met others that stayed together not sure how happy they are and then we have met some that stayed together cause they feel free.. its just how strong your relationship is but dont ever start doing it and do it for awhile and then stop abruptly and say i dont want to do this anymore because your partner may not be interested in stopping and this could cause a violent reaction ..so just be careful and if it feels right go for it if you arent sure then let it go as fantasy .

Answer 4

I think it is disgusting. It throws the whole commitment thing out the window. The guy im with has done it in the past and i find it repulsive. It is hard to keep that in the past but i do my best. I try not to think about it, because when i do i feel sick. I dont understand how no one could get hurt unless you got four people or more that just want some sex. To me that is something high school kids do! It is just gross!

Answer 5

More have had a good experience than bad. It's up to you to decide if you are secure enough to do it. If it wrecks your marriage, then you should have took a closer look. We have many friends that do. And you would never guess by looking at them. They're normal people. Just make sure you are on the same page as your spouse. Don't ever try to sneak ANYTHING past her.

Answer 6

Personally I have nothing against it....if both of you feel its something you should try at least once, then go ahead and do it......however don't do it if one of you is having doubts about it.....be sure its something that both of you want to try and not something thats being pressured on by one of you.......i know a few swingers that are friends of mine and they agree that is has to have the approval of both in order for it to work........

Answer 7

It goes back and forth, like a swing!

I think its frightening, "whose your daddy? I don't know"

Answer 8

I think that if that's what people like and they are doing it safely, what's the harm in it. It may be a lot of fun.

Answer 9

What's the point. How does it make the world a better place for you having been here?

Answer 10

Not for it at all... I think it is sinful, sick and immoral... Leads to alot of pain and remorse and unwanted pregnancies and std's This is just cheating adultery and unfaithfulness in a glorified form. WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!