I am in the process of divorce and he wants to be friends. We were best friend before we were married but do not see that happing now. Should I just cut the slate clean and be done with him?
2007-02-09 15:11:48 · 20 answers · asked by Marie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It depends on a lot of things. Do you still love him or have feelings for him? Do you think it would be difficult to see him on a friendship basis? I am still friends with an ex that I dated and lived with for two and a half years. We were good friends for a few years before we started dating too and I didn't see the point in losing him as a friend just because we couldn't make our relationship work. It's really all about how you would feel in keeping him as a friend. If you don't see it happening then I would say it probably won't or shouldn't.
2007-02-09 15:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by patchouligirl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey.
This is an awkward time I've been there. So many things depend on this happening.
1. If it's an amicable mutual decision divorce. No one has been betrayed you just have different paths to follow. Then YES YES YES. most definitely. My ex and I are best friends. I think he's wonderful. Our relationship is a good one. Because you were best friends prior to marrying then the chance of continuing to be good friends is pretty good. However I would give both of you time to get over this divorce stuff. Let him know that a friendship maybe possible down the track but you'll need time to get to know yourself first. Time to move from being a wife to being a single woman and all the new directions you will be exploring.
You may find time will take care of the situation. You may move in different circles, or be really busy and only meet occasionally. Nothing is set in stone as yet.But if your friendship is meant to continue it will, because you'll have more things to learn from each other.
Good Luck with your new Adventure.Ciao
2007-02-09 23:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you can be friends immediately after a divorce. You need time to heal the grief and the hurt feelings and let it go.
I believe after your divorced for a period of time and moved on with your life, you may consider being friends. You just have to know where to draw the line. People, especially men, like to have the fringe benefits of a "friendship". He would like to keep the sex going, and if that is the case, run and dont turn back. Your divorcing for a reason. If your so damned friendly, you should still be married.
2007-02-09 23:23:32 · answer #3 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the person. Some people have a natural way of being nice to others. Some are always rude and judgemental. My husband's ex is the latter. She can't seem to forgive him for the divorce over 13 years ago. It is best to try and be nice for the children's sake.
2007-02-09 23:28:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be prepared for heartache. Do you think you can handle seeing him later on with someone new? Nobody really can.
It'll be too much past baggage. I think you should start a new slate. A new start with no reminders of having a past and having to divorce your new "friend".
2007-02-09 23:46:19 · answer #5 · answered by Diana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation as yours. I am trying to change from lover to friend. I think it hard to do this because sometimes I feel uncomfortable for the new relationship, but sometimes I think it is the very wonderful one because we also were best friends before having date. I think it takes time and we can get much profitable from this wonderful friend relationship. Thank you for all answers for this questions. Good luck!
2007-02-09 23:55:37 · answer #6 · answered by MIB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it a try and if it doesnt work out with you guys just being friends now then you should just wipe the slate clean and move on but hey! you might never know if you dont give it a try
2007-02-09 23:23:48 · answer #7 · answered by sunny_alabama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard being just friends after a divorce.My best advice would be to try an be civil to each other if you have kids.If not then just let it be what it is.No point in making your life any harder just trying to be friends with someone that you can't live with.
2007-02-09 23:49:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you sure can if you choose to be. Just cut him loose but still be friends as this is the right thing to do. Parting on good terms is way better then on bitterness and unforgiving terms.
2007-02-09 23:18:55 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you can, i got 2 sons that are divorce from their wife, an now they are very good friends, they both has move on to remarried, even they wife talk to the ex, ,,,so yes you can be friends, it just take a little time
2007-02-10 07:45:53 · answer #10 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋