My boyfriend's mom is highly manipulative and controlling. She just took her name of my bf's checking account and he is 25! She offers to help us all the time with things and it always come at the price of her trying to control some aspect of our lives. My boyfriend and I have been living together for 2 years and his mom treats us like kids. She has major issues letting go of control over her son and it's not helping him in any way. I've had to teach him how to be a self-sufficient because he didn't know how to do **** on his own before he met me. I recently told his mom how I feel about her neediness to have her son dependent on her. She's also done some shady stuff to me like told me she was giving me a tiffany's necklace for x-mas and gave me a dollar store plastic ring wrapped in a tiffany's box instead. She told my bf to wrap & give it to me cause it was funny. She also took his money and bought me an ugly ring for x-mas when my bf was planning on having a special ring made for me
2007-02-09 15:10:59 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I recently told her how she has hurt my feelings and how I think she is trying to keep her some dependent on her to fill an unmet emotional need. Now she won't talk to me and is playing childish games with my bf. I don't want to talk to her ever again until she apologizes to me and I can't believe she is reacting this way. i am furious. I don't know what to do but I really feel that i deserve an apology and do not regret expressing what I did to her. What do ya'll think?
2007-02-09 15:11:21 · update #1
I think you are absolutely correct. I think she is manipulative and controlling. I think she is trying to keep her son dependent upon her, and I think she has a mean streak. I wouldn't waste my efforts on being angry with her or with trying to get along with her. I would simply write her off. I had a mother-in-law very much like the woman you described. These types of women do not change. You can't change them. You are not required to like her, nor she you. It is your home and it is within your rights to say she can't come over, even if your boyfriend doesn't like it. If he allows his mother to dictate how things are done, or if you feel that she is playing too much of a part in your relationship with your boyfriend, and your boyfriend does not stand up to his mother, then you might want to have a serious heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend. I'm not suggesting you dump him, but merely that you lay out your feelings about what you can accept and what you cannot. There ARE women who cripple their sons by trying to manipulate and control them into being dependent upon them. These women make it next to impossible for their sons to have successful relationships with women. There are also sons who are not able to stand up to their mothers and be their own person. If you have to do all the work for him that he is supposed to do regarding standing up to his mother, then it is likely you will have to put up with this for years to come, if you stay with him. The longer this woman is allowed to disrespect you by the way she treats you, the longer she will think it is okay and will continue to do so. Put an end to it now. She can only successfully do what you and your boyfriend allow her to do. I would really seriously talk to your boyfriend about this and devise a way to handle it together. If you don't, you will end up breaking up down the road. Trust me - it happened to me and my husband. I am the voice of experience here!
2007-02-09 15:28:47 · answer #1 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you still doing with this mamas boy???? She won't change because he doesn't want her to. You don't have a chance against her. You think she cares that your feelings are hurt??? HECK NO!!!! Leave him and make it clear you are not coming back until Mom is completely out of his private life and he better hope you haven't moved on by then. For real girl, you need to get out!
2007-02-09 15:17:54 · answer #2 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you want to be right. or do you want to solve this problem. Your pointing out all her flaws is not winning brownie points. and constant criticism will not work either, so pull in your horns and treat the lady with a minimum of respect, and perhaps she will do the same for you
ADDITIONAL info. You asked a question citing all your complaints about this woman, but if you read your letter, you want to NOW be in control. So if you do not like the answers don't ask the question.
2007-02-09 15:27:00 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You did exactly what you should have done.
Don't get your hopes up, you may never get an apology. But don't let that bother you. You deserve better.
And where's your bf in all this? Hmmm? He ought to be able to stand up to his mum.
You did what you could. Now let it go and ignore her. She'll grow up...sooner or later.
♠
2007-02-09 15:17:10 · answer #4 · answered by ♠Gotham♠ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship if he is not going to tell her to ++++ off!
This is too sick to live a good life by. OH MY GOSH!!!!
2007-02-09 15:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by Credit Expert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you were right to tell her how you feel. talk to your boyfriend and explain to him what you just said here. good luck.
2007-02-09 15:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your boyfriend either you go or his mother goes, he will surely make right choice.
2007-02-09 15:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by Brett gave me mono 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore angry rage and move on.
2007-02-09 15:15:52 · answer #8 · answered by Leona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think how wonderful it will be if you marry him!
2007-02-09 15:14:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's a bytch and you should keep yourself and your b/f as far away from her as possible
2007-02-09 15:15:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋