His new job has him working nights, 7 days a week, so he's gone all night, every night. I work all day so we never see each other, we barely even talk. We have 3 children he also never sees or barely talks to. I'm lonely! I need him but I'm afraid to say anything because he'll get bent out of shape.
2007-02-09 14:54:28 · 10 answers · asked by flow_mj 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sooner or later you are going to need to talk... hopefully it won't be through lawyers or marriage counselors. I would say that there would have to be some adjustments made before things get worse - and they will if you DON'T talk to him. It will require some sacrifices either from you or him. It may boil down to a decision to either you or him adjusting employment or other schedules, even if it means that either you or him quit your job. These are hard decisions and difficult to talk about, but you might ask him if he loves his job or you better. I know people who are in the same situation and I have personally been in similar situations. You have to work to pay the bills, but then your family suffers because of it sometimes. Try to be as supportive as possible in the meantime.
2007-02-09 15:09:13 · answer #1 · answered by Dean D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to say something immediately! The nightshift hours are not family friendly hours and also there are usually some bad influencial type people that work nights. I speak from personal knowledge. My husband started working nights a couple years ago and sad to say but his personality drastically changed. He became very self centered with his priorities being all messed up. I wish I would of said something early on. I really wish he would of never got that job now. Tell your husband how you feel and get it straightend out before it is too late and you hear a phrase like "We grew apart. I don't want to be married anymore".
Good luck to you and your family.
2007-02-09 15:43:27 · answer #2 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's his particular criticism approximately you? feels like his sport is his get away. He could be attempting to attain some point and sense a feeling of fulfillment in that sport, yet you and that i the two comprehend that's not actuality and existence is passing him via. If he's refusing help, you seek for it for your self. touch the militia. i'm specific you will locate different better halves in this same difficulty. Oh, and his declare that his sport-enjoying isn't an habit? while he's not around, get rid of the sport from the domicile and notice how he reacts. One final element, via allowing you all to stay of their domicile your mum and dad are allowing him to proceed this downward spiral. He has no reason to circulate seem for a job. I hate to assert it, yet your difficulty would call for drastic measures. i'm specific your mum and dad are very outstanding human beings, besides the undeniable fact that it might desire to be time to manage some hard love. basically sayin'.
2016-11-03 01:07:53 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
flow mj,
You need to not keep this bottled up inside and talk to him, tell him exactly how you feel and don't hold back. Life isn't about work it's about family and spending time with those you love. Work takes care of the bills but that's it (work is secondary and family is first). Relationships need nurturing and he's not pulling his end but you're not helping by not talking to him either. Pull it together and work on it! Good luck!
2007-02-09 15:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i read all of your responses and i personally think that each one is right , to some degree......although, i think that you might want to look a little deeper into the issue of your husband working 7 nights a week???....is it the money, to try to get ahead?...is he trying to get promoted?..or maybe, his interest in the "home life" has changed....i'm currently a bartender that works nights, i know first hand that relationships can be ruined from lack of attention/affection......i don't think it's unreasonable to ask him to set some sort of time line in which you/children can expect to "get a little more attention" from him....good luck
2007-02-09 15:36:47 · answer #5 · answered by michael m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are scared, find a third party to talk to him, such as a family member or a good friend, or even a minister, or a doctor. Let them open the discussion then you can continue it with him.
2007-02-09 15:00:29 · answer #6 · answered by DadOnline 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust and Communication is very importation in a marriage. If you can't talk to your husband about a problem, that tell me your can't communication very well.
I say go and talk with him and don't be afraid. Trust must start somewhere, and it can began with you.
I will be praying for you both.
2007-02-09 16:00:47 · answer #7 · answered by GOD IS LOVE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know that you can write so im sure you can talk if not write to him and tell him.. come on talk to him.. its the only way .why do you think marriages fail.. people cant talk to their mates anymore.. geez even mine as great as i thought it was is getting more difficult to speak to .. i would set rules that whatever bothered you would always be brought out in the open ..if not why be married your lying to each other everyday .
2007-02-09 16:31:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mj,
This is one of those bullets you sometimes have to bite. Remember whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. That will go for this and your marriage. Give it some time is my advice.
Jon
2007-02-09 14:59:47 · answer #9 · answered by Jon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is this way because it is new then have patience. If this is the way it well always be then you need to talk to him.
2007-02-09 14:57:55 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋