Miscarriage?

Question

I just found out that I had a miscarriage. I wasn't sure if i was pregnant or not... My doctor had told me not to worry about it that my urine test said negative so to forget about it. I knew my body so I continued to act as if I was pregnant. I have been eating healthy staying away from smoking and drinking and taking prenatal vitamins like my nurse suggested. Two days ago I woke up with the most horrible pains and I passed out yesterday and had to go to the ER. I had a miscarriage. I'm angry that my doctor was so short and hateful with me... she told me I wasnt and wouldn't listen to me. I am in so much pain...physically and emotionally. I don't know how to handle this. The worst part of this is the dad is gone. He is in the navy on a 6 month tour to North Korea and Japan. I want him to know but I dont know if I should tell him or not. I could contact the red cross but I dont know how that works. Thanks for listening, I think I just needed to vent and ask for support

That came out harsh... I don't blame my doctor I'm just angry that she treated me so badly. I am not keeping this from the father to be be hateful. I just know how hard it is for him to be away from us for so long and I don't know if telling him this will make it worse. He can't be here with me and I know it will kill him to know I miscarried. I do think he needs to know but I don't know if they will send him a message since its not life or death...

Answer 1

If you are not comfortable with your doctor I would suggest locating a new one. I found mine by a friend, it was her doctor and she had nothing but nice things to say about it and she was right. I'm sorry for your loss. Whether or not you inform him now of later is up to you. If you feel capable of coping with this alone then by all means save him from worrying about you anymore than he has to while he's busy defending the country. If you need his support then there are ways to get the message to him, this must be a difficult time for you and you should have to go through it alone.

Answer 2

I had a mc and my doc was a complete jerk. I switched doctors. Three months later im pregnant again. Having a mc is hard specially if the father is off. I would try contact him. he has the right to know plus it wont be a surprise when he comes back. I would just do what makes you feel right and helps your pain like good things no drinkin or any bad thoughts. Rem its no ones fault and things happen for a reason. Sometimes we don't know why but we just have to keep our chins up and keep on. I had a baby book and everything. I made a lil memorial for the baby we lost and im not going to forget my first baby. It still hurts but life is getting better and i have another baby on the way which im only 10wks. so im trying to keep optimistic. Im sorry you had to go through that specially with a doc that treated you wrong. I say change docs.

Answer 3

I had a miscarriage, and then a toddler not lengthy after, then yet another miscarriage. thinking i became informed i'd not in any respect get pregnant, I considered that one a blessing. 2 years later i flow pregnant back, and we had a great time and concept we may not in any respect get pregnant back. Then #3 became born 18 months after #2...WOW! Then #4 became 15 months after #3, then 18 months later #5....we began wondering it became some type of cosmic funny tale! #6 became born 2 years after #5, and volume seven (we call her seven of seven) became born 2 years after #6. My SIL also confronted countless miscarriages, 4 or 5 i imagine, she stopped telling us after a lengthy time period. She were given pregnant about ten years in the past nonetheless, and then popped out 5 in ten years. So we are both quite thrilled with our little advantages. i'm sorry on your loss, i do not comprehend what else to allow you to comprehend except to shop your hopes up. I not in any respect concept i'd be so blessed, and that i remember presently of dread, each month of praying. We were complete nuts throughout our pregnancies, quite because all of our miscarriages were after 12 weeks...far into the trimester of 'protection'.

Answer 4

You should definitely tell the dad, but red cross and the Navy wouldn't consider it an emergency. Wait until he calls or email him and tell him you have something important to talk about.

My husband is in the Army, currently deployed to Iraq. I had a miscarriage about two weeks before he left, in January. I would also go to another doctor and get checked up. You have to do that anyway, to make sure your body flushed everything out. Make sure you have a different doctor, whether you use Tricare or anything else and I would write to the hospital about the doctor you saw. They want to know about the care their patients receive and bedside manner is an important part of your care.

As for the emotional aspects, I really can sympathize. We were really looking forward to our second child, hoping for a girl, arguing about names...But when it's meant to be, it will be. :)

Take care of yourself.

Answer 5

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you have some family and friends nearby that can help you out. As far as telling the father, I think he has a right to know as long as he isn't in combat. I think that if he were in combat I would not tell him because he is probably going to be as upset as you are and you don't want to take his mind off of his duties. But if he is just on a tour of duty and not serving in a combat area then I would definitely tell him. I am sure that you could contact his base and tell them and they can let him call you or something.

Good Luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 6

you should get an new doctor. next time you think you are pregnant, ask for a blood test. however, the doctor is not the reason you miscarried. i think the father has the right to know, but it's not a life or death situation. it's over, so tell him when you talk to him next. i am sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

I'm sorry for your lost and I hope getting this off your chest has helped. But if you feel you need the support of the dad u just need his information and they will have him get back in touch with you. Like rank, social, location things of that sort... Good Luck!!!!!!

Answer 8

I had a similar situation with my miscarriage last December at 8 weeks. It took 3 weeks to totally be complete, half the time my baby's heartbeat was still there faintly. Very painful and morbid to think about. I prayed for my baby not to feel any pain and go to Heaven with my dad. I didn't want a D& C (because its uh "scraping of your uterus.." yikes). My husband is in the Navy too, but thankfully was right there with me.

Gynecologists/OBGYN's typically are very cold about it...I felt that way too. After an argument about life I said to one of them through tears, "how can I expect you to care about my dying baby, when you kill perfectly healthy babies in the name if 'choice?'" He didn't say anything and we left and I told him I hope he changes his heart and mind.

I'll pray for your, your husband's and your baby's comfort.

Answer 9

Get a new doctor.

Did dad know you were preg before he left?
If so, he should know so it is not a shock when he expects to come home and see you pregnant.

If not, telling him is good because it is an important event in your life to share with him, but would it distract him from what he has to do?

Best wishes to you.

Answer 10

OK first off I am sorry but sometimes drs. make mistakes. as far as telling the father ...are you married to him? or did you break up before he left? If you are in a commited relationship tell him if not don't bother