If you cheated on your wife or husband and you knew that confessing would break up your marriage, would you still confess or would you deny it forever b/c you dont want to lose your spouse?
2007-02-09 14:01:56 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In case anyone`s curious, I know my husband is cheating on me but he denies it like you wouldnt believe and I just wonder why since I told him to move out and supposedly he`s going to do it at the end of the month. If he`s willing to walk away why wont he just confess, maybe I`ll forgive, big maybe.
2007-02-09 14:10:17 · update #1
He is willing to walk away and will not confess? ...hmmm. are you sure it is over? I would think that if you have said a confession would help make things better that he would confess. If he keeps denying then either way, he is lying to you. I am sure you are worth more than lies. Just let him leave and don't even tell him you might take him back. See what he does. Actions do speak louder than words!
2007-02-09 17:28:12 · answer #1 · answered by sweetsouth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself this question, "What does this woman have that I don't have?" If you have proof that he has cheated, than what are the comparisons? Did he cheat because he felt neglected from your? Or was it because this other woman gave more like the sex, that you didn't give to him? Stuff like that could have pushed him away from you. Or, did she talk to him nice without raising her voice with the nagging? It could be many things.
When someone confesses to their spouse doesn't necessarily mean that their marriage will break up. It means that the spouse felt guilty and it was on their concious and just had to tell the spouse because he/she felt bad inside and couldnt take it anymore with living with the sick feelings. Some couples seek counseling, marriage counseling that is. They repair the damage that was done and they work things out and fix things, rather than finding the easy way out by getting separated then divorce, all because people make mistakes, but then fix them.
That's is why you married you spouse in the first place because you would hope that they could be trusted. But when a spouse denies it, then you know something wrong, they are in denial and don't seem to see anything wrong.
If I know that I pushed my husband away to lead him to do this, but he wanted to make things work with me, there would have to be counseling with him and me....with great effort to take place. Just keep in mind with the marriage vows you two made with each other. That's what keeps marriages together.
Otherwise do consider reading, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". Hopefully some day you will forgive.
2007-02-09 14:29:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the love is still there, confessing would not cause the marriage to break up, unless you are unwilling to forgive. The question is why is he willing to move out? To me this means he doesn't want the marriage to work and he wants to be with someone else. You either have to accept this or tell him you love him and would like to make it work unless he really is in love with someone else. Then you have to get over it and realize that you can find someone else who will love you. I don't think any man who cheats on his wife is worth aginizing over. Move on girl. Let him go. You'll be better off in the long run.
2007-02-09 14:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by JR 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Confessing is the best choice to make. I just confessed to my wife that I cheated on her. I never thought it true, but after telling her it was like a big weight just lifted off my shoulders. I was done with lying to her face. As for loosing your spouse? I'm moving out this sunday so we both take some time off and see what happens from there.
2007-02-09 14:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well, I would never cheat. But a relationship is about the two people in it, not just one or the other. If one spouse cheated on the other and tried to keep it to themselves, then they are doing it only for themselves and not the marriage or their partner. By cheating they've done the same thing. The relationship doesn't really exist if there is that much selfishness going on by one person.
Also, each person in the relationship has the right to make decisions which concern them without hindrance. By lying to them, that is being taken away from them. So, if one spouse cheats on their partner, then their partner has the right to decide what they wish to do with that knowledge. If they leave or stay, then that should be their decision.
2007-02-09 14:20:36 · answer #5 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Sorry to hear that! I think confessing would be the best thing. By confessing, there would be a chance to forgive and by denying there is no chance that the relationship will last. Get Proof..
2007-02-09 14:23:30 · answer #6 · answered by aloneathome 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It is easier to deny the affair, just toss the ball back in your court than to take personal responsibility. Taking personal responsibility is tough, it might involve soul-searching and looking hard at yourself in the mirror. Asking tough questions about yourself, like why he has no self-discipline, why he is self-destructive and why he can't set his priorites straight and avoid the temptations that life tosses his way. So, he'll deny it all and play innocent and pretend nothing is wrong with him when you know full well he is immature and weak. You deserve a better guy.
2007-02-09 14:17:37 · answer #7 · answered by Paul 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok first of all ,i would like to say all this cheating going on is going no where.. either do this.. divorce so you can do it legally or cheat together if you can handle it obviously you can you both are doing it or from what i can gather why not do it together .alot of couples do and never break up and love each other and there is no worry about cheating cause you know you can anytime you want so two choices break up divorce or do it together..
2007-02-09 19:26:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confess, because a marriage should be able to survive anything. Also, keeping a lie like that inside would totally eat you up! You should get an STD test in case you were intimate with him after he was (possibly) unfaithful.
2007-02-09 14:44:23 · answer #9 · answered by Kitty 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to rent every Chris Rock stand-up act you can find. The woman says, "Just tell me you did it. I know you did it. Just admit it! It'll be okay if you just tell me you did it." And then the guy admits it and she freaks out.
You are NOT going to just forgive him because he tells you. You are only going to forgive him if he admits it but is sorry and wants to change and make amends and all that crap. If he's smart, he knows that.
If he cheated on you, you can do better. Just let it go... although you might be interested to know if you have any new diseases.
2007-02-09 14:19:28 · answer #10 · answered by cy ko tic 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋