tell me what u think:
Never wanted----
Never asked to be loved,
Never want to be loved,
I never wanted friends,
i never wanted to no the truth,
i never wanted this pain,
i never wanted this life,
i never wanted help,
i dont want you to remember me,
never wanted this fantasy world,
i just wanna dream forever
i just wanna sleep forever
and never wake up.
I just wanna be left alone.
thats all i want.
is to be left alone.
Untitled100----
let me feel alive one more time,
then just,
let me bleed forever,
let me dream,
just let me sleep forever,
and never wake up from this dream.
(this one really sucks)
2007-02-09 13:58:57 · 8 answers · asked by Vampire Goth 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
both Poems written by me
2007-02-16 13:46:10 · update #1
I think who ever wrote this has a very dark and cold heart,possibly never knew love or has been burned by it very badly and if that is the case I just want to say that everyone gets burned by love and i know how you feel at times but being in love is so worth the risk.
2007-02-16 10:30:57 · answer #1 · answered by Babirownii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good morbidity, good grammar and phraseology. third individual attitude is extra effective, there's a raffle for brechtian emotional difference, seem up bertold brecht to work out what i advise. novice poems in many circumstances fall into the catch of being autobiographical and albeit particularly whiny. you have executed properly to keep away from rapidly complaining relating to the form you experience. That mentioned the prose sounds somewhat turgid. that is properly executed for a 12 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous and that i do hate poetry although that is not any longer publishable. i think you are able to desire to tell the comparable tale in a million/3 words, cut back down on adjectives and names of thoughts. yet another situation is which you're confronted with subject content textile that may no longer new. you elect the two a clean subject or a clean attitude. think of of what incentive the reader has. there is not any chew right here, no philosophical perception, no ethical. consistent with probability the moral is that there is none. This reads like a quick tale specific in stanzas. consistent with probability it rather is the place you may bypass with it. consistent with probability it would be extra effective to cut back out the baby's testimony of love, purely demonstrate him on the top. Awkward to describe a bullet in his head, the projectile itself could be the final situation somebody might observe in the variety of subject i think of. The be conscious is likewise repeated interior the stanza.
2016-11-03 01:00:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have got to have felt alot of cruelty in the world to write this poem. I think it's really good.
2007-02-16 12:38:39 · answer #3 · answered by Violet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little pessimistic and depressive, but I think the first one is pretty good. The second, just okay.
2007-02-09 14:03:20 · answer #4 · answered by beachrat808 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Another form of living things in another lifestyles.
2007-02-09 14:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't be like this forever
2007-02-15 20:51:52 · answer #6 · answered by DJ_Mon2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the fisrt poem, fourth line, the word "no" should be "know"
2007-02-09 14:03:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first one is really good....the second one is alright but not as good...
2007-02-15 05:28:10 · answer #8 · answered by dark_angel_5258806 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋