I Need Some Help Asap... Grammar?

Question

What is incorrect with the below sentence? Something seems wrong but I can't pin point it.


"Meanwhile, illegal music trading continues throughout the internet, with the music industry always seemingly one step behind the common College student; and as long as the internet is in operation, music will continue to be traded among music lovers, just as older generations would make mix tapes and share them with friends."

Answer 1

Well, the section after the semi-colon starts with "and" and doesn't need to be connected to the first part of the sentence.

You could seperate it like this:

"Meanwhile, illegal music trading continues throughout the internet, with the music industry always seemingly one step behind the common College student.

As long as the internet is in operation, music will continue to be traded among music lovers, just as older generations would make mix tapes and share them with friends"

Answer 2

I would use two sentences, decapitalize "college", and remove the passive voice as follows (just my suggestion) -


Meanwhile, illegal music trading continues throughout the internet, with the music industry always seemingly one step behind the common college student. As long as the internet is in operation, music lovers will continue to trade songs, just as older generations would make mix tapes and share them with friends

Answer 3

"Meanwhile, illegal music trading continues (throughout the internet), with the music industry always seemingly one step behind the common College student; and as long as the internet is in operation, music will continue to be traded among music lovers, just as older generations would make mix tapes and share them with friends."
that prepositional phrase is bugging me....also, your sentence is a bit long. AND if you are going to put that semicolon there, you don't need that and!!

Answer 4

I see a couple of issues. To begin with, one should never begin a sentence with a conjunction. Beginning with "meanwhile" is similar to starting a sentence with and, but, or however. It is grammatically incorrect.

Secondly, the phrase, "always seemingly" is very awkward. If you use two adjectives, they should be separated by a comma. I would drop the "seemingly", it is unnecessary and weakens your argument.

Finally your sentence is actually two sentences. Try this:

Illegal music trading continues to flourish on the Internet, with the music industry always one step behind the average high school student. Just as previous generations would exchange mix tapes with friends, so long as the Internet is available, music will be traded among music lovers.

Answer 5

It's technically not a run-on sentence. It is a bit verbose though. Consider this... With the music industry seemingly always one step behind the average college student, the trading of illegally downloaded music continues almost unfettered. Just as older generations made mix tapes for friends, the younger generations will continue use the internet to trade copyrighted material.

Answer 6

It's a run-on sentence with two topics: the Internet's relationship with music and a music lovers relationship with music. You also have too many filler words.

Illegal music trading on the Internet continues with the music industry one step behind the common college student. As long as the internet is in operation, music lovers will share music as the older generations had done with mix tapes.

Answer 7

For clarity, I would consider restructuring it and breaking it down a little.
"Meanwhile, illegal music trading continues through the internet, where the common college student remains one step ahead of the music industry. Music lovers will always use the internet for music trading, carrying on a sharing tradition that began a generation ago with the distribution of mix tapes."

Answer 8

In very few instances can a sentence be that long and grammatically correct.

Secondly, the semi-colon is used to connect two independent clauses, not two parts of a compound sentence. A comma connects a compound sentence. However, you may want to end the sentence after "student" and start a new one with "As long..."

Answer 9

Well, there's a semicolon after the word student, then there's the word "and". I don't think the word "and" needs to be there because a semicolon separates 2 sentences, and you usually don't start a sentence with "and". I don't know if you can start a sentence with and, but it makes sense not to. I wouldn't capitalize "college"either. I don't know if I am right, but I wanted to try to help!!

Answer 10

Well, I'm no English professor, but it seems to me that there are no technical problems within the sentence. It's really really long, which makes it sound weird, but nothing is actually incorrect. You might want to take out 'and' after the semi-colon, though.