2007-02-09 13:25:26 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
perhaps he has not forgiven u, depending on how remorseful u were, and how willing u were to admit what u did hurt him, he is still hurt, u can do alot about it, by communicating how wrong u were. by being sorry and asking for forgiveness for it, it will soften his hardened heart. get some therapy too. he should not be treating u like this if he is truly wanting to reconcile the marriage, because if he continues to hurt u emotionally there is a real good chance u may cheat again. just talk to him, communicate and accept responsibility for his hurt, ask him what can be done to make it better. just be honest, tell him this is hurting u, that if he took u back that he also needs to find it in his heart to forgive you too. being in a marriage just so he can continue to punish u is no good for either of u, does it mean u need to live the rest of your life like this? no u shouldn't have to, he needs to forgive it and focus on his marriage if he wants to stay in the marriage.
2007-02-10 00:11:38 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is never right when husband or wife treat each other bad.
But you have to understand that for now your husband probably does not trust you and you probably remind him of the affair when things go wrong. Open up to him and tell him how you feel, that your made a mistake and wish to remain with him because you love him and you are sorry, but now that you are back you need him to trust you and treat you like he did when you first married. Tell him if he does not trust you and treat you like a lady, you will have to find somewhere else to live.. And do it.. you do not need to take this, not after you came back and he accepted you back. If he had any issues he should have mentioned them to you before he accepted you back.. Good Luck.
2007-02-09 13:32:59 · answer #2 · answered by Mari-Mari 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since you are back together, he's got to put this in the past. He decided to stay married, so he can't keep the injured, hurt, wronged husband persona going forever. You guys are in for rough times. I KNOW how hard it is to deal with a wife's affair(s). So, you must understand that he's trying to swallow one helll of a big, bitter pill. You need to know that he'll be thinking about this for a long time, and salvaging this marriage is gonna take hard work, tolerance, and patience. I hope you both love each other a lot, cuz you'll need it to end up growing old together.
2007-02-09 13:37:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know what he is doing to treat you bad. It isn't right to get physical or be abusive. I can speak from some experience here, my wife cheated on me, and it is deeply painful to be backstabbed by somebody you thought you could trust. I was very, very angry for a long time. One of the things that made me so angry was the idea that I should just swallow what occurred and "move on" for the sake of the family...it made me feel like I was being punished AGAIN for my own wife's affair. Not only dealing with the betrayal and the knowledge that another man had taken my own wife, but the mere suggestion that I needed to get over it and move on. How dare my wife tell me that I need to adapt to this situation and just accept what occurred and move on, you know? BUT - abuse is not tolerable, and if you feel in danger, you must go and protect yourself. Take care.
2007-02-09 13:35:55 · answer #4 · answered by Paul 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he decided to take you back after your affair, he shouldn't treat you badly. You both should go to counseling and see if things can work out. He may have taken you back just to make your life hell.
2007-02-09 15:11:09 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Him treating you bad isnot right at all. You guys really need to go to a marriage counselor for you marriage to try to make things better . What you did to the marriage is wrong and what he is doing back to your is wrong as well. Two wrongs do not make a right. You both need help and couseling here if there is any hope for this marriage at all.
2007-02-09 13:31:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't agree with a lot of the comments on this question,OK you cheated,not a good thing ,he took you back,not a bad thing.i can understand him being upset and not so loving but to treat you badly is wrong.i think it will be some time before things will be great between you but that is only to be expected.i hope things work out for you both
2007-02-09 13:50:53 · answer #7 · answered by TOM 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, he took you back. you should both try to work on the future and forget the past.. been in the same boat. its VERY hard.. but no one is perfect.. at least you know what you did and knew it was wrong. better to live and learn then to never know and always think about it. He should understand that you know again that it was wrong and you now know that and feel that.. and if he treats you bad.. just let him know... that he took you back......therefore HE needs to let it go.
2007-02-09 13:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by ~Jamie K 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Resentment is natural when something like this happens. His trust was betrayed by you but if he took you back he needs to put that behind him and not dwell on it, that is if he really wants your relationship to work.
As far as him treating you badly you just need to talk to him.
2007-02-09 13:43:11 · answer #9 · answered by n0s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is one thing to forgive and another to forget. If he said that he forgave you than dont let him treat you badly. Once you forgive someone that means it is over and you dont look back. If he cant get past it, then he needs to move on and not take it out on you. Try counseling.
2007-02-09 13:31:53 · answer #10 · answered by cakcynthia 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋