We're a long-distance relationship-- he is in Europe and I am in the USA. I went to visit him for New Year's and he proposed! I was thrilled, ecstatic... I love this man with all my heart and want to be his wife. Then I got back to the US and the stone popped out of the ring. I brought it to a local jeweler and they couldn't repair it because they said the ring cost less than $40. He told me it cost 300 Euros. I called him and tried to talk to him about it but the phone cut off. I wanted to know why he lied about it because-- if he lied about this, what if he lies about other things? I can't get in touch with him-- he does not answer the phone and doesn't reply to SMS messages. I feel like I've been played for the fool... :-(
I should say he was married before and has two delightful daughters, with whom I am close. His mom and I were close friends before we hooked up. He was abused while he was younger. Is this, maybe, embarassment or an insecurity? How do I fix this? What do I do?
2007-02-09 13:17:44 · 8 answers · asked by Windflowers03 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should also say-- he did live a wild life but has calmed down. He usually treats me well but also likes freedom-- while I was there he liked to go out with friends while I went with mine in the town (we didn't spend 24/7 together but I liked that). I did suspect an affair but got confirmation from other people that nothing was going on (this is a REALLY small town-- everyone knows everyone else's business). I have my own insecurities but am trying to work through them, too. He wants to come to the US in the fall and get our life together started. The problem is he shuts himself off emotionally with those close to him and he has a lot of false friends. I truly love him and want him to get the help he needs on this. I am more upset for the lie-- he could have given me a plastic ring for a quarter for all I care-- and the fact he's avoiding me.
I also sent a nasty text (I was upset b/c he said the price was a joke) after the phone cut off and feel bad... is he punishing me?
2007-02-09 13:20:05 · update #1
Rosa, getting married is a tough proposition, considering the stats against being successful. So, if you were to go into a marriage with reservations, I would say your odds drop even more...for success. You seem to be answering this question by the way you are asking it. It seems to me that if you really felt comfortable with him you wouldn't ask. So you feel uncomfortable. Do you want someone to tell you to accept him unconditionally. I don't think anyone will give you that answer. Everyone will tell you to be cautious. You wouldn't have asked if you didn't have serious question. If you can't answer these questions yourself, find another relationship. I know it sounds tough but you're already heading in that direction. Think about it. And, good luck.
2007-02-09 13:31:48 · answer #1 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey he is scamming you.
He wants to live here. Guess what he needs an american sponser.
A WIFE
all you appear to be to me is a green card.
He is abusing you starting with lies.
I am sure if he had told you he could not afford a real diamond you would have understood. He wanted to bait you with promises of more things to come.
He found out you knew he is a lier and got abusive tolay guilt on you. Its mental abuse.
DITCH HIM
2007-02-09 21:26:44 · answer #2 · answered by andreamarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1- Would you feel better if you found out that you were played for a now or when you were married.
2- What I really think he wanted was to get a visa to come to usa
2007-02-09 22:27:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your instincts.
He's trying to avoid you because you caught his lies.
Do you really want anything serious with a man like that?
Why bring more trouble into your life. You're better off without him, far away from him.
2007-02-09 21:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How well do you know your local jeweler? Is it possible they weren't being honest, and pocketed the real stone and gave you back a piece of crap?
2007-02-09 21:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has mentai issues...
if I were you dont get married....keep your affair alive till u snoop around his past, get all and every details of his past....
then make a decision......
I bet its gonna b worth your effort...lol
2007-02-09 21:28:27 · answer #6 · answered by DON 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you don't trust him completely and if that is the case, then you shouldn't be marrying him anyway.
2007-02-09 21:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by Vicki B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
too much reading! BLAAAAH!!!!
2007-02-09 21:22:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋