I can't hold my new nephew! What?

Question

Well my brother & his wife had a baby boy on Superbowl Sunday (2/4). I went to visit the baby the day he was born but I didn't want to hold him because I don't like holding a baby who's still in the hospital for some reason. I decided t wait until this weekend to see him because I don't work. But my aunt told me that when she went to there townhome, there was a sign on the door that said, "Visitors may look at Ethan, but can't hold him" what the hell? So now my mom's upset even though she was able to hold the baby but she says they're taking it overboard. I understand them not wanting the baby to be held by strangers but family? And I'm not waiting until he's 2 months old (after he gets his shots) to hold my nephew! Any mothers ever treated their newborn like this or has anyone ever gone through this? How do I handle this? Should I just respect their wishes and forget I have a nephew for 2 months or what?

Answer 1

Wow do people even know what 2 month "shots" are for? I'm always amazed that statistically people spend more time researching a new car then the shots their children are reciving.

At 2 months a child (depending on the doctor/state) usually gets
* Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP) — dose 1 of 5
* Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) — dose 1 of 4
* Inactivated poliovirus (IPV) — dose 1 of 4
* Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV7) — dose 1 of 4
* Rotavirus vaccine — dose 1 of 3

None of those doses are final - so technically none of them are "working". Not to mention it's highly unlikely that you would be dragging in the polio virus or anything else they are being vaccinated for even if it was "working". It's ludicrous they have some false sense of security after the 2 month shots. If anything the immune system is compromised after the shots. That's why kids get fevers, etc.

The best protection for a newborn is washing hands and breastfeeding.

Answer 2

Give them a break. They are new parents and have probably just gone through some rough days of having their baby cry from sore muscles after being passed around and held so much by visitors. Then they weren't even able to comfort him because even when they held him he was uncomfortable. This will pass as the endless steam of well wishers and visitors stopping by to see the new baby stops and they are finally able to get back to setting up a normal routine for themselves and their new baby. Just be patient and respect their wishes. Don't be hurt because it isn't personally meant to hurt you. Remember that they are new parents who are adapting to a new world and need time to adjust and get their feet firmly planted. It probably will not last for 2 months, but remember even if it does you will still have a lifetime to form a bond with your nephew and should not waste even one more second being upset by this decision. It is after all not your place or anyone else's for that matter to determine how your brother and his wife should parent thier child. They have to rely on their own instincts right now as they learn what is best for their child. Any effort to undermine their decisions and choices at this point will only create tension because they will inevitably feel that you doubt their abilitiy to be competent and good parents. Tread lightly and respect their wishes.

Answer 3

I understand how you feel, but I also can relate to the new parents. Lol, I just started letting other people be in the room w/ my 7 week old daughter this week because she got her shots last Thursday. Being new parents is scary, and it is the height of the cold and flu season. I let my daughter be in the same room as other people when she was about 3 weeks old and she caught a cold, stuffy nose and runny eyes, just from people leaning over her to get a look. It sounds as if they may be being a bit too cautious, adults should be fine to hold him as long as they wash their hands and arms first. I say give it a week, then gently broach the subject again, as they get used to him and realize he won't break, they will definitely welcome the break to be able to go outside or take a bath or whatever. Till then, try hanging around and helping with the housework, or jokingly blackmail them w/ a trade- if they let you hold him, then you'll _____ (fill in the blank w/ something they need done around the house) Give the baby some time to wear them down and they'll get over it. My strickest rule was that my daughter was not to be in the same room as anyone under the age of 10, period, until she got her shots. Good luck!

Answer 4

If the baby is healthy, they are being unreasonable. There is no harm in holding a newborn. When my son was born, I think we had about 10 different visitors. I let everyone hold him, unless they knew they had a cold or something. Once we got home, anyone who came to visit was welcome to hold the baby. They all just want to show the baby their love. My son is almost 4 months old and has been held by lots of people and is very healthy. Maybe they should talk to the baby's doctor about their fears. Perhaps the doctor can reassure them that the baby will be fine.

Answer 5

Wow that's crazy! I let anyone that I knew well hold my newborn, a mother's gotta go to the bathroom or eat sometime! They were kind enough to wash their hands before though, but most everyone I know has had a baby.
If they are waiting till he gets his shots, well that's stupid, the baby won't be fully vaccinated for a long time, they get boosters and such. You'll have to respect their wishes because they are the parents, hopefully they will lighten up after a bit.

Answer 6

Oh my!! Is there something wrong with the child that there were complications or he had an underdeveloped immune system when he was born?? If not, that's just RIDICULOUS!! Sounds like this child is about to live a very sheltered overprotected life. I hope they get over it soon... I could understand requiring everyone to wash their hands before holding the baby, maybe even putting some kind of blanket over your shirt so there's something between your "outside clothes" and the baby... We went to a party and a strawberry festival and slept at my cousin's house when my son was 12 days old!!!! and he's just fine. Well the only thing you can do is offer to wash your hands and cover your street clothes, or bring some clean clothes to change into, (and even bring a hospital mask to cover your face?!) but if they don't change their minds I guess you have to accept it.

Answer 7

Is the baby premature? I don't know in there defense they can do what they want to do with there child. Maybe this is there first baby and someone is obviously paranoid about the baby getting germs and getting sick. However did you ask why you couldn't hold the baby? Is he/she control freaks? Did they put the sign on the door with someone else in mind but didn't want to single out that person. I've never done this to family members, strangers yes but my rule was to wash your hands and no sick visitors. Who's idea was it anyway, was it hers or your brothers? Anyway get over it the adults made the decision so don't be bias to your niece/nephew they have no clue what's going on.

Answer 8

That sounds a little overboard to me. My twins were born prematurely and i was told to limit people holding them ect, due to germs and such and i was told not to take them out in public a ton the first few weeks due to germs and them being so tiny and they could have easily caught colds ect. What i did was when someone wanted to hold the twins, i asked them to wash their hands, and i did limit visitors for the first few weeks, as in not having 10 people come over in one day. But....to me it sounds a little overboard. They may still be adjusting to baby though, and want to keep him safe from colds, germs ect....i wouldn't be THAT bad, but i did ask hands to be washed and not for a lot of people at once. I dont know if that helps ya though.

Answer 9

So how old are you anyway that your having a pissy party ?!?!?!
It is there child they choose not to have anyone in the house till mom feels up to it,( thats there perogative) lord knows I won't want to deal with ppl wanting to hold my baby after he is born,actually no one is even stepping foot in my house till at least month 2 ( and it varies with peds dr's , but most will tell you to keep the baby inside for as long as possible for more reason than just getting sick, babies have to be able to get there body temp regulated and a billion other things )
you could be carrying a flu bug as well as other things ( no offence to you ) but it make sense , just for parents piece of mind, I never ask to hold a baby I wait till they ask if I want to hold the baby. Including my brothers kids
Do you have any children ? if so did you just hand your baby off to everyone who wanted to hold it ? or when you do maybe you will understnd the importance of being a parent an wqnting to protect your baby from anything thing or one

Answer 10

I agree w/ you. That's too far - if they're treating him like this now imagine the rest of his life - they're going to be so nervous about everything. My pediatrician even said that the baby can leave the house immediately and as long as people wash their hands and don't have colds, it should be ok to hold him. You brother is going to end up alienating his whole family - maybe have a party and don't invite him. Tell him you don't want the baby to get sick.