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My girlfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. Last couple month we have argured alot. I have issues with trust and I become jealous fast. We do not live in the same state and she has 2 homes one in the city and one in the mountains. Long story short, she tells me over and over she only likes women but she met a guy via her job and I know he has fallen in love with her. She tells me it is only a friend but my jealousy has been our big problem lately. This past weekend she told me she was sad about us because we have so many arguements lately. Her last words to me were how much she loves me and we will talk later when she is at home from visiting her mom. She also has been depressed about her mom and sister not getting alone with each other. I'm not sure if she's just depressed about all these issues for what. It's been 6 days since I last spoke to her and I feel she went to her mountain home to escape. I emailed saying i think she is with that guy. Have I lost her?

2007-02-09 12:05:15 · 10 answers · asked by trj25822 1 in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

10 answers

Give her some space. She seems to have a lot going through her head right now from what you have described. It may be too early to say whether you have lost her for good, but give her some alone time to sort out her feelings. Send her a nice email saying that you respect her need for space right now and that you would like to discuss things when the time is right for her. After that, don't initiate contact for a while, let her contact you when she is ready. Good luck!

2007-02-09 12:13:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Wow, you deserve to. Sorry. But its true. Jealousy is nothing more than control issues. And the sad fact is, we can't even control our own actions, so what makes you think you can control someone elses that's a state or two away? Be realistic, she's a lesbian! Why would a lesbian turn to a man when she's depressed? Then she has family problems on top of the problem of you. And instead of being a shoulder to turn to, your unavailable because everytime she calls, you go into hyper mode. So, why SHOULD she call you? Its all a matter of learning what is and is not controllable. And when you say you love someone, YOU DO NOT WANT TO CONTROL THEM. You want them to be happy, and that means them being themselves, after all, that's who you fell in love with! Not some zombified version you twisted her into.

You haven't lost her yet, but you are on the way. Send her some flowers or a card with words of TRUE LOVE. Write them from your heart and apologize for your past behavior. Let her know you want to change and not be controlling or jealous. Jealousy gets you nowhere. She loves you or she wouldn't bother with you, would she? I would never call, write or stay with someone I didn't love, and I assume she's the same way. Start and start soon with an apology for your jealousy and go from there. Let her know your sorry for the trouble her family is in and the grief its giving her and that you do not want to be part of her worries! Instead you want to be there for her, in case she needs you to talk too.

Again, why worry about jealousy? She's with YOU ALREADY, if she didn't want you in her life, you'd already be dumped.

2007-02-09 12:32:20 · answer #2 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0 0

Well first of all, tons of women determine out different women greater than guys. It is a competition factor, or ladies are just extra appealing to look at, I suppose. I truely had this very conversation with my boyfriend no longer even 12 hours ago. So none of these things you've mentioned make me suppose that she's bi given that lots of heterosexual girls do things like that. Nevertheless,You ought to produce other causes for that suspicion, so we are going to trust your hunch! I suppose the first-rate solution to bring up that conversation is to throw it in there in yet another dialog. You would begin by way of asking her what her perfect fantasy is and make ideas about things with other women. Otherwise you could inform her that you have thought about her and different ladies. Ask her if shes ever wanted to kiss another lady. There are delicate methods you would convey it up with out coming correct out and saying "So....... Are you a lesbian?". But for those who do consider she's denying it then you may ought to do that sooner or later And a further thing to the now not average sex, i can expect shes now not on birth manipulate, however that sounds extra like its hormone associated. So if you would get her ONTO a regular start manage capsule, or if she is on one, get her to change tablets. Or even taking a hormone supplement, you might have extra good fortune.

2016-08-10 15:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by husted 4 · 0 0

After e-mailing her something like that, perhaps. If you can recognize that you're being unreasonably jealous then you should do something about it. If she is stressed from worrying about her family, she doesn't need you to be another cause of stress. If you are causing her more mental harm than good, maybe she should find someone else... Consider the situation if you were on the receiving end, what reason is there for her to stay with you?

2007-02-09 12:13:44 · answer #4 · answered by Matichel 4 · 0 0

nicely first of all, quite some females inspect different women more effective than men. it really is a contest element, or women are in basic terms extra pleasing to seem at, i imagine. i actually had this very communication with my boyfriend not even 12 hours in the past. So none of those belongings you've reported make me imagine that she's bi because quite some instantly women do such issues as that. although,you should produce different causes for that suspicion, so we are going to trust your hunch! i imagine how you are able to elevate that communication is to throw it in there in yet another communication. you should commence by technique of asking her what her perfect fantasy is and make options about issues with different women human beings. or you should tell her that you've concept about her and different women human beings. Ask her if shes ever needed to kiss yet another woman. There are subtle procedures you should deliver it up devoid of coming acceptable out and holding "So....... are you a lesbian?". yet in case you do imagine she's denying it then you genuinely may ought to attempt this in some unspecified time sooner or later And one extra element to the not prevalent sex, i visit assume shes not on contraception, yet that sounds extra like its hormone suitable. So in case you should get her ONTO a sluggish contraception tablet, or if she is on one, get her to modify pills. or perhaps taking a hormone supplement, you may have extra success.

2016-11-26 20:19:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

there are two things in your question that make me think you both need to see other people. 1: long-distance relationship. it will never last. i know. 2: your jealousy. you are being a real jerk to her. learn to get over it or you will never have a good, lasting relationship with anyone.

2007-02-09 12:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by scruffy 4 · 0 0

well you say that you have issues with trust and jealousy and then accuse her of falling in love with some guy....Maybe she is telling you the truth...maybe she just can't take it anymore...it sounds like she already has enough on her plate right now

2007-02-09 12:35:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You should enjoy each others company but you make it very difficult for her to enjoy your relationship. If you cannot bring yourself to forget yourself in this relationship and focus on the significant other it is good buy Maria.

2007-02-09 12:14:23 · answer #8 · answered by Willem V 3 · 0 0

If you haven't lost her yet, you will, unless you control you jealousy. If you accuse her of cheating when she isn't cheating then she will start to cheat and leave you behind.

2007-02-09 12:16:02 · answer #9 · answered by Spades Of Columbia 5 · 0 0

Yes naturally women love the cok! even sworn lesbians will get some stick when they feel they need it. after she gets some she will come back to you.

2007-02-09 12:10:53 · answer #10 · answered by Fido 3 · 0 6

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