Life Problems?

Question

When I was 16 I fell for this 21 yr. old guy, and we ended up getting together...now just turning 18 it feels like my life is falling apart...I have a 2 yr old daughter, he has been in jail 4 times since then (once for getting me pregnant) and I can't do everything I wanted to...go to college, get a good job, have a nice family. I am working as a waitress, and a cashier at a grocery store. He is getting out of jail in about a month, and every time he gets out he comes running to me for money, a place to stay, and then we end up hooking up again, and I just want all the madness to stop! How can I tell him I don't want to have sex with him?

Answer 1

Sex is the least of your worries. You need to get your life together and sex isn't where to start. Start with what's best for your children. Tell him, having a father in and out of jail is no good for them or you. Then tell him, you're leaving his sorry, trouble making *** for good and go start a life elsewhere. Go back to school during the nite if you have to and have your family help you out if needed for support and guidance. But you've already taken a good step in the right direction, by admitting your problems.

Answer 2

You should be grown enough after having a child of two yrs to make the decision to tell him NO.!!! He cant force you into doing something you dont want to do. Do you want to keep dealing with this guy who is obviously no good for you or anyone else for that matter. Dont you think you deserve ALOT better than him?? A man whos in and out of jail is obviously a loser and has serious issues. In my opinion he shouldnt even be allowed to see your child. Just stay away from him. Its time you act like an adult and just tell him NO.

Answer 3

Start with "NO". Turn your back, walk away, don't answer the phone, bolt the door and ignore him. What makes you doubt yourself? Why do you think you must do anything you don't want to do? Simply and finally just don't.

You can still do every single thing you wanted to do. It will just take different tactics to accomplish them. Whether you do them will now be up to you. You don't just "end up" doing anything. There is an order of events here and somewhere along the line you are making decisions. Begin to make different ones.

The madness is your own. When you stop giving him money a place to stay and a shelter for his prick he will stop coming to you. You have taught him what he can expect from you. Now teach him differently.

Answer 4

just tell him u have moved on with someone else. as if u continue to hook up with him your life is going to be very sad. if he were sincere and wanted to make your life better he would try harder to stay out of jail. your only 18 so there is plenty of time for college, once u get it together, he is using u for all he can get, distance yourself, u already made one mistake with this man, why continue the same old habits with the same types of men. make some changes, while your still young enough to do so.

Answer 5

You are not saying whether or not he is violent if he is, then you need to protect you and your children, maybe a restraining order, if he is not, then just tell him how you feel, please don't have sex with anyone with the exception that YOU want too. If you need someone around to tell him that it is over, call a bro or cousin or a male friend. I was married once, and my husband use to rape me a lot, I didn't dare tell anyone because who was going to believe me, he was my husband right? he use to fight me, I had family but no one cared enough to step in and help me, I had four beautiful children with this man, but still yet today, it is hard for me to sometimes make love to the man I am with now and do it feeling like a woman, instead of an object, it ruined me, please help yourself, I know you didn't say he rape you, but having sex and that is not what we want can mess us up some what psychological.........Good Luck

Answer 6

you have to find that spine in your back bone. it's somewhere down there. but you have to find it and put it on with superglue and make it stay. cause that is the only way that this loser will find the way to live his life so that he can be self supporting. all he needs to do is ask the right people (not you). first of all...you need to get on birth control. either the temporary kind (pill/shot/iud) or the permanent kind (if you don't want any more children...operation tubal ligation, essure). but i would say to start there. cause if you do happen to have sex again...then your chances of getting pregnant will decrease. second you need to find a way to get a better paying job and start off in school part time. get your family involved (if they are willing). put your money in the bank (if you have one). or give it to a trusted relative if you cannot afford a bank account. tell him that he is not welcome to stay and that you have no money to give to him. if you do then you are neglected and your daughter is neglected. that's just a start

Answer 7

You need to break up with him and dump him and tell him it is over and that you want nothing more to do with him except for child support for your baby. You may want to hire a sitter and go back to school and get a better joob and move on with your life without him in it. he does not love you . You are just someone he is using for money and a booty call when he wants it. You will also need counseling and help and when you get your life more together then you may be able and ready to date again and possibly find that Mr Right. Right now just focus on you and the baby and go on with your life without him in it.

Answer 8

When your parents told you to keep your legs crossed and stay away from that older boy, did you listen to them? Or did you think you knew better?

Sorry my answer is no help. But you have created this mess for yourself.

Answer 9

say i dont want to have sex with you

Answer 10

"How can I tell him I don't want to have sex with him?"

Tell him: I dont want to have sex with you.