so that makes it hard for me to get into a relationship with a young lady. Marriage is not the end all to a wonderful life. I am very happy being single. I like being accountable for me only and not to mention it's a different environment for marriage than it was for "mom,dad,grandma and grandpa". How can I get a girlfriend without wanting to be married?
SIDENOTE: Please don not respond with any answers that mention "oh, you just need to find the right one", . I enjoy being single. That's my preference.
2007-02-09 11:34:28 · 25 answers · asked by GW.BUSH 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's refreshing to see someone that understands that marriage and having children is not the end all and be all to life. unfortuantley most people are like that. and in this 'dating' game (yes that is what it is called) most people are looking for that. you are going to have to weed your way through it. this is what i do (because i feel the same way). if there isn't anyone willing to be friends first (and i mean just friends) then they are not worth me wasting my time on. i have several people that wanted to go from the 'getting to know you stage' right into the girlfrind/boyfriend or marriage stage. i just don't move that fast for anyone. besides...taking the very long process of being friends first allows me to get to know the person on levels that they would not let me see if they were looking for a girlfriend. because the vibe that i get from those 'hunters' is that they are putting up this front to hide who and what they really are. i don't impress easily. and i don't like to be impressed. just show me who you are as a person and i (or we) will take it from there.
2007-02-09 11:43:16 · answer #1 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think with that atttitude you'll be single for the rest of your life because not many females that I know will stick around for a lifetime in an "uncommitted" relationship.
You're very wrong about the commitment level of "marriage" being different for your parents, grandparents. Nothing has changed other than females are no longer EXPECTED to be the only partner to run the household and raise the children. Men are enjoying their family and child-rearing responsibilities nowdays.
Marriage is wonderful but it doesn't stay that way just "because". Any relationship takes respect, compromise, sacrifice, etc...
Sounds to me like you may simply be too self centered to be able to offer that.
Good Luck
BTW... Who SAID that you HAD to have children just because you're married? That's a huge misconception on your own behalf.
2007-02-09 19:43:34 · answer #2 · answered by ~Me~ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do not get marrid if you dont want to. You are better off single in this case if you do not want to marry and share your life with someone. If you keep dating and are looking to marry someday then you just may find miss right . But do not marry or settle until you can marry for all the right reasons. Since you enjoy being single than stay single as that is your preference. We are not out to make you want to marry. It is your life so do what you want with it.
2007-02-09 19:42:20 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you on that it is easier to be single than be with some one. I know what you mean also about a girl wanting to get married but the thing is that most girls do want to get married at some point. Like with me for instance I would rather me tell him if that is how I feel in the beginning so then he would know then could go somewhere else if he wanted something more. So that is what i think you sould do.
2007-02-09 20:08:00 · answer #4 · answered by Robin t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like to be single, why do you need a steady female? If you are lucky enough to find a friend with benefits then good for you but why would a girl want to be with a guy who is not wanting to be committed to a marriage?
The reason you enjoy being single is because you are selfish and can't seem to share life together.
2007-02-09 19:42:44 · answer #5 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Life is all about choices. If you don't want to get married, are you so sure you want a girlfriend, because that in itself is a sort of commitment, and it sounds like you don't want to make commitments in relationships. If you enjoy being single, then be single and don't look to involve someone who can get their heart broken by you. It's no bad thing to just be alone, especially if it's what you want. At least you are honest!
2007-02-09 19:39:54 · answer #6 · answered by Kitten Hood 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to get married then don't EVER let anyone force you into one. I was married for 27 years, have been divorced for over 5 years and have absolutely NO intention of ever marrying again. I LOVE being able to do what I want, when I want, without having to ask for permission from a spouse. I have a similar problem that because I have a good job and a house, I get proposals by the 3rd date and I hightail it outta town, ain't nobody gonna tie me down ever again.
2007-02-09 20:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by mamabear1957 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was single for 6yrs before I got married. During that time I wasn't getting married either. You need to be up front with the person your dating. It takes guts, but it's fair to the other person,they might want to get married in be looking for there soul mate. And that's the situation then you are wasting your time and she is wasting her time by dating someone who don't want to be married. There shouldn't be know hard feelings. That's way it's good/safe to tell the person up front. You don't have to be mean about it. But if a female don't understand or gets crazy you don't owe her anything. In besides that's not a person who you want to date anyways. Trust me there are lots of women out there who don't every want to be marry. I was one of them for a long time. I was almost 40 when I got marry. I dating a lot. Some men ask me to marry them. I told them No. I don't believe in marriage. One guy took it bad. But you know want I told him I never want to be marry, I guess he thought if he treated me nice/care and tell me he love me that I would change my mind. I dating him for almost 4yrs. So trust me there out there. And you will find. If you enjoy being single that's great, you know what you want. And there's nothing wrong with that. take care.
2007-02-09 19:50:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is fine to not want to marry; and I think it is good to be clear about something so serious.
Do your girl friends a favor, however, and as soon as either of you feels strongly about the other, be very explicit about the fact that you do not want to get married.
That is an absolute requirement for staying a decent person with the choice you have made, at least IMO.
2007-02-09 19:43:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as you are up fron with the woman and she knows, it shouoldn't be a problem. my best friend has been with the same guy for 17 years, they have 2 kids, and a home, but they have never married...it is an arrangement that works great for them.
a lot of us women though do want marriage and the whole 9 yards, so you've got your work cut out for you.
i think it is good that you know what you want (or in this case, what you don't want.)
2007-02-09 19:40:54 · answer #10 · answered by shasta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋