How do I confront her?

Question

My marriage has been thru hell. We were so close to a divorce. My wife was caught cheating, she blamed me for it. I can only take so much responsabilty for her infidelity. We both put effort into saving our marriage, she could do much more to help, but since she had changed her mind about dumping me, I chose to let the small stuff go. I still have issues with trusting her. I checkup on her as much as I can to see if she has just gotten smarter about getting away with more infidelity. I saw her purse this morning in our kitchen. She was still sleeping so I took a good look at everything in there and I found cocain parafanilia, and an empty bag that had cocain in it. To say the least, I am beside myself. First off, we can't afford that garbage. Then there are our teenaged kids, then there is the issue of mistrust, just in a different way. I have been wondering how she paid for this, On her knees or her back? I don't know if I should try to fix this or is it time for us to divorce

Answer 1

Sorry, but your wife is a slut and a poor example of a mother. Kick her *** to the curb and don't look back.

Answer 2

First of all just let me say it was not your fault at all for her choosing to cheat on you. You are not to blame for what she chooses to do. Seek marriage counseling and help and you may also need counseling for yourself to get past the pain of her cheating and infidelity as well. She is obviously doing drugs and you need to confront her about that and get her into drug rehab somewhere. Has she ever had a problem with drugs before and have you ever used? You need to ask her how she got it and i tend to think you are right she probably is cheating. take her on the Maury show and have her take a lie detector test too. You will find out for sure this way. If she is still cheating then you need to divorce her and let her go and move on with your life.

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Answer 3

I am sorry to say this but this sounds like a lost situation.She is in it for heself.\
I would take the children out of this situation, with so many females turning family away, males are now taking on this role and it sounds maybe that you might be lying to yourself .You may love her but you must love your self more.
The drugs will keep coming and the cheating will only grow .
You can have a onesided marrage trying to tell yourself that it will get better. I myself have been though some of this. Not near as intense as yours, but love yourself and your children and get out of there .
You'll feel better much later after the pain dulls and the loss is no longer there.
I hope the best for you

Answer 4

Well what probably drove her 2 drugs was her quilt 4 cheating.Before I met my husband the man I was w/cheated and we had a son who was 1 yrs old @ the time.Now im not taking her side she was wrong when u truly love someone u set them free if it's meant 2 be then u 2 will surely be.As far s her drug use well u get the evidence and u show her.So what she had it in her purse take her 2 rehab get her on the show called intervention.They confront the drug users(family and friends). Do what u have 2 2 do 2 fight for your family.

Answer 5

If she had already cheated on you and you have had all these serious problems before, I suggest you photograph what you found in her purse and leave it in there.

Go to the drug store and buy a drug testing kit - about $40 tests for about 12 different drugs. Demand she whiz in the cup. She has no reason not to, given what you found.

I would say you've put up with a lot already. I think it's time to pack this one in. Sorry buddy, but druggies - especially lying, cheating druggies, almost never change.

Answer 6

How can she blame you for cheating? Even if you didn't make love to your wife on a regular basis, it's still no excuse for cheating. Now since she's been cheating in the past, you really don't know if you'll catch a sexually transmitted disease from your own wife. My opinion would be to dump her...but have a talk with your children first.....be honest with them since they're old enough....and let them know what's going on. Hopefully she'll get caught by the police with that stuff....and that just may save her life. Best of luck to you.

Answer 7

My brother was married to a woman.... the love of his life. The whole family knew that she was not faithful to him. He tried everything to save his marriage. The end result... she left him for another man. It was then that he told the family about how many beds he had pulled he out of. He also told us about the drugs. If your wife wants to stay with you, she will be the only one to realize she has a drug problem. You can beg and plead, but she will not stop until she is ready. The only question is..... Do you want to wait around for her to change? I'm not saying it won't happen, but how much can you handle? You need to think about your children as well. Do you want them growing up with this going on in your house? Good luck.

Answer 8

It is time to call the police. She can be tested for drugs in case she denies it.

It is also time to protect yourself financially so she can't bleed you dry from money that are common.

Proof of drug is more significant than infidelity (which is harder to prove except self admission) to get custody of your kids. The court can look the other way on unfaithful mothers but will not grant custody to someone convicted of drug charges

Knowing that drugs are found in your home and not acting on it will not put you in good light later if she is arrested.

Answer 9

first of all you should confront her about the drugs , and tell her if she does not stop that you will gain full custody of the kids , that is really serious if she loves you and her kids shell stop. To catch her cheating when she tells you that she is going somewhere,and you know for sure that she is not make up some reason to go there , and if you don't see her if she did not go where she said she was going ask her if she went there.Ask her by saying "so how did it go at the ?" and if she lies and say fine it went OK , that's when you say YOUR LYING i went out and seen you with some guy .you really gotta get in to it like you really did see her .I f you do what i say and she really is cheating she wont say nothing.

Answer 10

First you need to confront her and have her enroll herself in drug rehab. Secondly it isn't your fault that she cheated..she chose it.

Finally if you were sick for a couple of years with a nasty cold..would you not go to the doctor? Then why is it you didn't seek maritial counseling with a LICENSED professional? It's something that needs to be done if you intend on working this out.

Drug rehab has to happen regardless because she is the mother of your children..and for your children's sake she needs to be clean.

I am sure you are just crushed..hang in there, be tough

Good luck

Answer 11

I have to say that I am very sorry that you are going through this and if you ever want to email please feel free. My heart goes out to you right now. I admire the fact that you were trying to make your marriage work. Have you tried to go to counseling? Maybe that would be a start. I found out a few months ago that my husband cheated on me and he says he wants to work it out but he isn't trying as much as I think he could. So I am very sorry that this is happening but I can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do. I feel bad that you have to go through this but only you know if you can trust her or not. If she is doing drugs then she isn't very trustworthy right now and maybe she needs to go to rehab. I do hope everything works out for you and please email if you need to talk.