do we really have to be exlusive to one person......why?

Question

I'm not sure I believe in monogamous relationships can't we all love and spend time with numourous people for freindship and sex?

Answer 1

I am about as monogamous as they come - seem to be hardwired that way. I mean I can't even be attracted to another guy when I am in love, but that's just me. I certainly do not expect or encourage other people to be like me. Humans are a diverse bunch and when it comes to sexuality I really think trying to stuff everyone into the same 'monogamy box' is prett deranged, unconscious and even cruel to those who don't fit there.

I think we need to look at love from a completely different perspective to be able to see outside this 'box'. The idea that love must be accompanied by jealousy and the belief that possessing another person's sexual freedom is acceptable and ok need to be challenged by every one of us who are intent on maturing and growing as healthy sexual beings. When people try to force themselves to be something they are not, in this case monogamous, they remove so much opportunity to explore what reall works for them, as far as sex goes. Then the wind up expressing their sexuality unconsciously; cheating and sneaking around just to be able to be themselves. Instead of learning to be themselves in a conscious and integretous way, in this case by embracing what they ARE: polysexual or polyamorous, and living this with integrity and honesty - and unapologetically!!! There is nothing less 'right' about being polyamorous than being monogamous. As long as we bring consciousness into who we are sexually, and we're not harming anyone, and we're growing and loving and expanding our own boundaries then it's all good I think.

To me loving someone is a LOT more than making some long term commitment for monogamy. We don't choose who we fall in love with, and if it's real love then we love tht person's sexual self as well. If we cannot deal with being in relationship with someone who isn't just like we are in that way, then we shouldn't go there with them at ALL. Its a form of rejection for a monogamous person to require their nonmonogamous lover to become monogamous for them. That just ain't right imho. It's like breaking a wild horse - and people aren't meant for breaking.

Answer 2

Ask yourself something, let say you love this person a whole lot, I mean, the world ain't right if said person left kinda love, do you think you going to like that said person is kissing someone else, spending special moments with somone else, making love with someone else. If you can say that you won't get jealous or your heart doesn't break, then you can go have the numourous relationship you want but don't lie anybody into thinking that you have eyes only for the person. Be upfront.

Answer 3

A person doesn't HAVE to be in a monogamous relationship with one person, I personally feel that one person should be all someone needs. What becomes the problem is people who want to be with numerous people tend to hook up with those who wants to be in a monogamous relationship. So if you want to be with numerous people, hook up with people who want the same thing.

Answer 4

i agree , i dont think we should be expected be monogamous,not everyone anyway.
but there are those in society who tell us this is the way it should be.
but the thing with open relationships is men tend to be thhe ones who have a real problem with jealousy even if there the ones who wanted an open relationship in the first place.

Answer 5

I think maybe were serial monogamous or sequential polygamists.
I don't want to be married to the same person for 60 years!

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Answer 6

well look here, you can spell monogamous and relationships fine but exclusive and numerous are dodgey or is it dodgy?
we are not 'animals' we are supposed to be 'human' we should care for our society and try to raise our young with 'standards' just so the world can be a better place.

your question is hippy and they were not a successful breed.

Answer 7

Yes. If you study the history of sex and relationships, you'll be surprised that things before christianity were quite different. The men who wrote the bible wanted their women to remain their 'property' so they invented the idea of marriage and monogomy.

Nice isn't it. NOT. The idea of forcing ourselves to be in miserable relationships is ridiculous. The history channel has a great show on the history of sex- watch it if you can.

Answer 8

Everyone is different - for some people monogamy works for others it doesn't. It's that simple! The trick is in finding like minded people

Answer 9

If you are married and consented to such a pact your partner expects loyalty. If you are single, establish your feelings about exclusiveness and do what is right for you!!!
Just beware of std's.

Answer 10

well would you like your wife or girlfriend to be with you and many oher guys at the same time ? if the anwser is yes, I dont think you will ever get married and have kids.