he can never be pleased which is why we never have fun and we are living a miserable marriage. we are always arguing about something stupid. he wont go to marriage counseling, he admits he has anger problems. i cry alot because i hate how he acts. this is a 12 year relationship but married only 1 year. how do i deal with it?
2007-02-09 09:30:44 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand how you feel (don't ask me why), all I can tell you is for you to try to weight the love you have for him and the hurts you've been carrying with you so far. Marital problem takes two to solve. If he shows no attempt to help sort out the issue, then he doesn't care enough.
Dealing with anger problem is always tough especially when bad language is used as weapons (I hope there's no physical abuse?). I've seen it myself a man who speak only discouragement and pain to people, complains all the time no matter what happening he find something negative to grumble about.
Be strong. If you love him, deal with his anger with understandings. Arguing will only make matters worse. And pray a lot. As much as you can, wholeheartedly. Free yourself from unforgiveness towards him as fast as you can everytime he hurts your feelings. Carrying the grude with you will not change him but it sure will change you and it's not for the better.
Be strong.
2007-02-09 14:01:39 · answer #1 · answered by Ann M. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am with one of your other answerers, describe fuss. Is he abusive physically also? My perspective, First ask yourself the age old question, "Am I better off with him or without him?" If you even question yourself on your answer you need to take a second look on where you want to be and how to get there. Only you know what your heart is telling you. I know someone who wasted 34 years of her life with a guy she didn't love and even though she doesn't love him she is hanging in there. Just be totally honest with how YOU feel. As to why your husband fusses so much, no one can really know that but him. Consider that he may not love you, or that he may just feel trapped. Maybe he is just a nitpicker. Maybe he isn't well. There are so many variables that it could be. If you can talk to him and let him know how his "fussing" is hurting you and he will talk about it and address the issues that would be a monumental first step. Good Luck Sweet Lady
2016-05-24 02:41:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you stay in a miserable relationship for 12 YEARS and then decided to MARRY him??? If it's THAT miserable, the what in the world possessed you to not just hang around, but to commit to marriage with this person? And if he was good enough to marry, then perhaps you just need to learn to ignore his minor quirks. Think about your motivation here. It's not like people change after they sign a marriage license; they are the way they are, and you need to be willing to put up with them if you are to be together.
2007-02-09 09:39:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce time. You knew this was going to happen. You knew him for 12 years. If you thought marriage was going to change him into a new man, you have a lot to learn about men. He will stay the same as he is now for the rest of his life. Deal with it or get a divorce.
2007-02-09 09:37:40 · answer #4 · answered by Sax M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not happy and if he seems like his not happy, then obviously neither of you are happy. Is this really how you want to live your life? Don't you want more from life then sadness and desperation?
You really need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. Then you need to sit down and figure out what exactly makes you happy and make a plan, set a few goals. If being with him is something that does not make you happy, then you really need to figure out if leaving him is the best thing. If he seems willing to make a change after your new change, then help him along. If he doesn't, then he obviously doesn't care enough about you or even being happy.
Everyone deserves a life and a full one.
2007-02-09 09:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did things go miserable after marriage? If not why would you marry him. 11 yrs is more than good to know a person. I would say if things are miserable there is no point to continue the marriage.
2007-02-09 09:46:27 · answer #6 · answered by Dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you like crying all the time and being miserable, my personal opinion would be to dump his ***. Divorce him. Take him for everything he's got or will get and find someone worth your time. You've wasted 13 years being brokenhearted with an angry, horrible little man. It's time you dried your eyes and got on with your life, because if he hasn't changed after being with him this long, he's never going to change.
2007-02-09 09:39:30 · answer #7 · answered by J T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling on your own. You might discover why you stayed in a bad relationship for 12 years.
2007-02-09 09:36:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not willing to work on it, you know what to do. Leave. Unless he's willing to work on his anger issues and put some effort into your marriage, this relationship is doomed. You've tolerated it long enough. Move on.
2007-02-09 09:36:00 · answer #9 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him. If he will not get counseling maybe you need to think if this is the way to live the rest of your life.
2007-02-09 09:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by lizzybit64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋