I have been with my wife for about 8 Years and we have three kids but since she was not a virgin when we met I was always sad about that fact but since she assured me that there was only one guy in her Sexual life before me(to whom she lost her virginity)and that she really loved me I let it go however, she recently after 8 years told me that she continued seeing the guy who took her Virginity away for about 4-5 months after we were together as boyfriend/girlfriend. Iam now confued on what to do and its very painful given that my younget son is only 4 Years old??? what can I do? I still love her but its very very painful to know ?!!!
2007-02-09 09:17:54 · 12 answers · asked by albertem77 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So you're saying that your wife was cheating on you? Screw her...take the child and leave her with nothing...
2007-02-09 09:21:56 · answer #1 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I find my own virginity important, though I don't expect anyone I date to be a virgin in a sexed up society. I believe virginity is sacred. Once you surrender your virginity to someone, you will never forget that person, especially if he/she was special. I personally would not want to marry anyone who does not love me as much as someone else. Love can blind you from the painful truth. Your wife has been having an affair. After 8 years of marriage and 3 kids, depending on your religion, you can choose to leave or stay. If I were you, I think I would just stay for the sake of the children. But it's your choice.
2007-02-11 14:59:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its VERY important to me but me and my fiance are both virgins. After 8 years I can certainly understand you being upset over this. I know I would be! I know that i would NEVER cheat on my fiance now or ever, or he on me, but since its been so long now, I think all you can do is forgive her and love her. It will probably be very difficult to get over. I cant even imagine how sad that must be. Please pay no attention to the answers here that say virginity is not important, because it is SO important!!
You cant just leave her though. Everyone makes mistakes, and even though her mistake is very painful to you now, its in the past and you have to move on. I wish you the best of luck in the future. Remember there is a reason for everything. :-)
2007-02-10 00:44:38 · answer #3 · answered by o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only 4-5 months? No big deal. She was just keeping him around in case her "new boyfriend" didn't work out. I don't know why sex is conceived as a big deal in relationships. This is 8 years later and if she's committed to you for this long without any other interest in anyone else then just let it go. There's a big gray area when you change bfs/gfs as to whether your new relationship is gonna be serious or not.
2007-02-09 17:29:31 · answer #4 · answered by closetcoon_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't think of anything LESS important than "virginity". What difference does it make? You sound naive, controlling and insecure. Are you afraid she's going to compare you to her past lovers or something? Geez. Yes, I compare my husband to my former partners sometimes... And guess what, he always comes out ahead. I am SO appreciative of what I have, because I know what's out there, and how difficult it is to find someone like my husband. He need not worry about this comparison, and he doesn't - which is one more thing I love about him; self-confidence is extremely attractive in a man. You need to work on yours, and behave in a way that will make your spouse respect you. Right now, you're acting like a teenager. Grow up.
2007-02-09 17:28:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alot of question will arise in this. Um, I have heard that it is easy to fall head over heals with the guy who takes your virginity, however that didn't happen to me. So I can see why maybe she would. If you love her and she hasn't been seeing that other guy for years now then maybe it was just a release of guilt she had. So just take it one day at a time and eventually you will now what you should do.
2007-02-09 17:29:40 · answer #6 · answered by bo4hoss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look The first few months of "dating" is always up in the air. Just b/c she was still sleeping with her ex while she was in the beginning of a relationship with you doesn't mean anything. Just Chill. Her virginity is only important if you make it that way.
2007-02-09 18:23:38 · answer #7 · answered by abby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this was in the past and before u were married so just let it go and what does ur 4 yr old son have to do with this?
2007-02-09 17:23:11 · answer #8 · answered by sally d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so what are you worried about.? you've been married for 8 years, you have 3 kids, she's married to you instead of that other guy.
so what's the big deal? if she wasn't committed to you, you wouldn't have 3 kids in 8 years. if she knew that you were going to hold he ex-boyfriend against her after all these years. she probably wouldn't have told you about him. she is trying to be open and honest with you, so let her. don't hold it against her.
2007-02-09 17:36:19 · answer #9 · answered by bmoline 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can start by acting like an adult and grow up. So she had sex with someone BEFORE SHE COMMITTED HER LIFE TO YOU. Love her enough to let that go.
2007-02-09 17:22:36 · answer #10 · answered by Thegustaffa 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋