Ok weve been married for 9 and a half years at the moment he's living in the middle east,Im in the uk with our 8 year old. He changes his jobs and cars ( we've had some cars for only weeks and lost £1,000's)he likes to take on huge projects but gets bored .Hes left me and kids after renting a very expensive flat and buying a sports car. in the past ,Its wearing me out.Will he always be like this ?does he need medical help?Is anyone else like this?Did anything change you ?
2007-02-09 09:16:10 · 8 answers · asked by gadriel 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is a combination of several things.
1. A front for the benefits of his work: a message that he is a risk taker, entrepreneurial, and live at the edge, a playboy image, and self-centered
2. "Wide eyes, narrow stomach": this is a Chinese idiom same as "taking a bite bigger than you can choose". So you change before it is too late. Also implies no follow through on, and running away from, commitments when things are tough.
3. Resistant to a mature, responsible life style: at a certain age, people start putting money to build a nest for a family and some form of stability for the children (children really don't do well when they move around too much).
4. Trying to follow (or deliberately not follow) someone's footstep: maybe his father had said he wished he could the world but couldn't. Maybe he had a traumatic experience or thought about staying in a stable home for a long time.
Don't think it is a medical situation. It takes a particular event to wake him up, hopefully not divorce papers.
For me, I made a commitment to pursue a better life style when one day my doctor asked me if I wanted to live long enough to see my daughter (2 yr old at the time) graduate from high school. Think you understand what that question meant. My daughter is now about to graduate from college.
2007-02-09 10:20:56 · answer #1 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are both like that. We've moved five times in just over two years, we're both living overseas from our home countries and always talking about where we'll go and what we'll do next.Our friends say they're glad we're both like that, otherwise they'd feel sorry for the spouse that was settled. Thing is, we now have three little kids who like routine and their circle of friends and the familiarity of their own home, so we've given up our unsettled ways and find ourselves "putting down roots".We just make plans now for when the kids are grown. I think it's incredibly selfish of your husband to keep this up once there are kids involved. I can see it being a real serious problem in your marriage!
2007-02-09 09:28:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are extremely needy and get their sense of self worth from "rescuing" someone in need and taking care of them. It sounds like your husband might be one of those people, especially since you say that he is "totally consumed" by his daughter. As for you, I suggest that you get back on your meds. Just because you are feeling stable does not mean you can just go off your meds. I have suffered from depression for 5 years and have gone off/ back on the meds too many times. Each time the depression comes back, it comes back with a vengeance. Trust me, you do not want to go there. Talk to your doctor and see if you can find something that won't make you put on so much weight.
2016-05-24 02:35:53 · answer #3 · answered by Bibiana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is going through a mid-life crisis. He wouldn't need an expensive flat and a sports car unless he was wanting to impress somebody.....hmmmm, maybe he's looking to change his wife too......keep your eyes open....
2007-02-09 09:20:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'M LIKE THAT. WELL, NOT TO THAT EXTENT. BUT I NEED CHANGE ALL THE TIME. I BUY THINGS TO HELP FILL THIS NEED.
I WOULD MOVE EVERY COUPLE OF YEARS IF MY HUSBAND WOULD ALLOW IT, AND I USUALLY ONLY STICK WITH A CAR FOR ABOUT 2 YEARS BEFORE I GET SICK OF IT. I GUESS THAT'S NOT QUITE AS BAD AS WHAT YOU ARE DESCRIBING, BUT I THINK CHANGE IS GOOD. TO AN EXTENT.
2007-02-09 09:42:00 · answer #5 · answered by sweetbabykitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My soon to be ex-wife is this way, on a smaller scale but never satisfied. It has completely worn me down and I realized that I could never keep up. She said that she will never change "who she is" but all that I see is running away from commitments and problems
2007-02-09 10:34:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might need medical help, I would talk to my medical provider to see if they have any ideas. Good luck!
2007-02-09 09:22:18 · answer #7 · answered by MissChatea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's irresponsible and makes rash decisions. Tell him to stay gone, he'll always be like this.
2007-02-09 09:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋