It's normal to have these feelings. Right now you are confused between attachment vs infatuation. You have to ask yourself what is important for you in the long run.
Eventually the feelings for the other will turn to attachment. Your husband can not compete against novelty. Love is about consistency, not a flash in the pan.
You might have issues within yourself, but if you truly value your marriage, I would at least go seek counseling for yourself or for the both of you. You might discover something about yourself and its not about what your husband can't offer.
Please think before acting. Right now your husband will be fighting a losing battle.
2007-02-09 11:51:24
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answer #1
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answered by Need Answers 4
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Listen to the others Nicki. I guarantee that it will be all honey and roses for the first few months and then you wil see him in a different light ...like you did your husband. I guarantee that. Secondly, I guarantee he will go back to his wife because thats where his security is. He will have enjoyed himself inthe meantime...at your expense.
Always remember,.... he will always despise his wife in front of you, but, he WILL go back to her.
Look at what type of relationship you've got.....One is cheating on their wife and the other is cheating on their husband. Thats a REALLY good foundation for a relationship.
Forget the 'fire' at the beginning of a relationship and stick with someone (no matter how boring) who has COMMITTED!!. And, as long as he's not been violent, you should respect him as the man who has (at least ) married you. It sounds as though he has chosen the wrong person but thats another story. The other guy, believe me , is just after his 'oats'.
2007-02-09 09:32:32
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answer #2
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answered by JohnH(UK) 3
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What you need to do is look within yourself and figure
out what it is that you REALLY want as you say you love
your husband but want to be with another man: Since you
are married and you are not happy in your marriage then
you owe it to your husband that you say you love to sit
him down and tell him why you are un-happy in your
marriage, then maybe you two can work it out, but if you
have anyone else involved then you will not be able to
think about your situation with your husband as the other
guy will be a block factor in your thinking process with
ur husband . First know what it is that you want in life
then talk to your husband and if you are still un-happy
with him then no need in being in a un-happy relationship
but remember if you feel this way now about your hus-
band whats to say you won't feel the same way later with
this other man.
2007-02-09 13:54:22
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answer #3
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answered by RudiA 6
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If you love your husband, then you ought to be willing to make it work with him. I'm sure your husband is aware of the sexual problems between you. Let him know that you can't continue a marriage with no passion and no sex, and ask that he join you in couples counseling to try and salvage your marriage. A therapist can help you reawaken your passion for each other.
Do NOT have any more contact with Mr. New Zealand until you have given your marriage a decent chance, or your new relationship will be just as unstable as your current one!
2007-02-09 09:22:32
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answer #4
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answered by teresathegreat 7
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NO!!! You need to work on your marraige and get the passion and fire back in your marriage and feel this way for your husband and no the other and new man. What proof do you feel and have that he is really leaving her? Is his divorce final yet? You need to dump the guy that is married and stay with your husband and seek counseling and help for your marriage and you if need be. You have no grounds for divorce here.
2007-02-09 09:37:50
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answer #5
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answered by Lady Hewitt 6
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You really need to figure this one out before you do anything stupid. Don't jump the gun if you have any children, they come before you and your rondevou.
If you don't have children, you need to sit down with your husband and have a real talk with him. Do not mention another man. And don't start seeing this other man until you get your life figured out. You will make a huge mess if you get scared and jump the gun into the arms of this other man.
Sit down with your husband and be honest with him about why you don't want to be with him anymore. If you really love him, then you need to tell him that. If your love is strong then you owe him a chance to reciprocate and try to work things out. If your love is not strong and all you have for him is friendly love, then you need to tell him and you need to move out.
Even if you move out and move on, make sure you give your soon to be ex husband plenty of time to cool down and get over you. That is all you need is to be flug into this new guy and have your husband see that.
Just think about how you would feel in his shoes. He deserves a little respect.
2007-02-09 09:23:35
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Do not leave your husband! If he's not cheating on you or beating you then don't , Especially for another guy! For better or for worse didn't say until sex is bad or whatever! If you truely love him you wouldn't be thinking of another. But he's under alot of stress try to find out what the problem is. Try spicing it up yourself! Something new out of the ordinary for both of you!
2007-02-09 09:22:23
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answer #7
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answered by coolsherah 2
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What you neeed to do is re-light the fire with your HUSBAND!
If you love him & are happy with him, you should stay, and work out the problems with counseling.
You are probably looking toward the new man a little too optimistically---he gets skid marks in his drawers, picks his nose, drinks out of the carton & has toe-jam just like ALL men.....I'm just saying the grass is NOT always as green as it looks on the other side.
2007-02-09 09:21:30
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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nicely you will possibly no longer elect to offer up on your marriage, yet you at the instant are not the only one in contact. It sounds as though she already has so there is no longer lots you're able to do approximately it. enable her flow. She is rather silly to base a relationship on some risky cyber web liasion. This so-observed as super guy would desire to be anyone: an elderly lady named Zelda, a teenage boy, a dockworker this is a transvestite... you get my flow. human beings in many cases misrepresent themselves on line. She would desire to be assembly Jack the Ripper. enable her flow. regrettably, she would be waiting to in all probability locate that the certainty isn't as super as her fantasies approximately it - and she or he would be waiting to in all probability attempt to return working decrease back to you. Slam the door completely close. you will no longer be conscious of the place she's been or with whom -- or what illnesses she's picked up. lots for her vows and loyalty! Why might you elect a guy or woman of such low character?
2016-12-17 06:17:25
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answer #9
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answered by ? 4
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Stay with your husband. If you so called "love" him so much, you wouldn't be sitting here asking for help. You would already know the answer. And cheating does not have to be physical. It can be emotional as well. Oh yeah, I agree with the person above me. YOU are selfish.
2007-02-09 09:20:16
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answer #10
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answered by nothing 2
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