Hopefully I get a broad range of answers, so I get a good idea of what it's like. Is anybody out there an Air Force wife? I recently got back together with my high school sweetheart, and his enlistment is up in August. He's thinking of staying in, in which case, we'd have to do some serious compromising and sacraficing, which we've never done before (that's why it failed before). He's an HVAC, and very good at what he does, he's gotten early promotions and done really well, and he likes it. I'm terrified of leaving my family, and... "following someone else", I guess. He wants to go to Europe, and see the world, and he's been told he'll get the chance if he stays. What's it like to marry into that? Is it fun? Is it boring? Do you wish he would have picked a different career? I haven't finished school yet, and its important for me to finish. Any insight would be greatly appreciated, thanks in advance.
2007-02-09 09:02:03 · 7 answers · asked by Mel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some of you say I'm not ready for marriage... I'm ready to be with him for the rest of my life. Now, all I'm thinking of is what the rest of my life is going to be like, now that we're together again. I'm so lucky to have him, he's truly amazing, and I'd do anything for him. It's not a question of if I'm going to do it or not, it's more of a question of... what it's going to be like... you know? I'm an only child and my parents and I are very very close, I don't have much family. So naturally I'm a little scared to.. venture out, lol. I'm glad college will still be in the picture. As you can see, we still have some things to figure out and learn about it. Thanks for the answers so far, they're great!
2007-02-09 09:19:19 · update #1
Well, I'm not an Air Force wife but a Navy one. In 15 years I've learned that military life is what you make of it. If you go into this expecting the worst that's likely what you'll find and if you go in expecting the best you'll find that, too.
Moving a lot can be a reality but it also might not be. We've moved 9 times in 15 years. But I know people who have been living here for 18 years.
You do loose local friends when you or they relocate. But guess what, that means I have someone to stay with if DH ports in Hawaii or Georgia or Florida or Washington and I decide to meet him. And I have someone to give me the low down when DH and I head to those bases.
The military wives I know who went with their husbands overseas loved it. But they really took advantage of the opportunity and saw the countries they were in. They took the time to go out and experience the local culture and find what makes it special. The ones I know of who didn't have fun spent the entire tour complaining at home.
Yes, DH can be gone a TON! And it's hard. But I have friends who have DH's on the same boat and we spend the time keeping each other going. And being gone gives us a chance at a great reunion. For my family it makes any family time we get much more precious and we don't ever take it for granted. Well, not often anyway.
Recipe for a Military Wife
1 1/4 c. Patience
1 tsp. Courage
1 lb. Adaptability
3/4 c. Tolerance
Dash of Adventure
Splash of Humor
With the above ingredients add 2 tablespoons elbow grease, leave alone for 6 months. Marinate with salty tears. Pour off excess fat. Sprinkle every so often with money. "Knead" dough until payday. Season with international spices. Bake for 20 years or until done. Serve with PRIDE!
2007-02-09 11:21:49 · answer #1 · answered by Critter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been an Air Force wife for 5 years. My hubby is a fighter pilot, and I love my life!!! There is such a comraderie among the wives and the AF in general. Plus they take good care of you with regards to benefits, etc.
It's far from boring. We have lived all over in just 5 years. And if you're worried about "following" someone, don't be. Military wives are very independant by necessity. But what I love about the AF is that there aren't the super long deployments like with the Army or Marines (at least that i've noticed). The longest my husband has been gone is 3 months, but he's usually just gone between 2-3 weeks at a time and it's not even that often.
It's not perfect, because obviously not having your husband around constantly, being away from family for stretches, and moving is not for everyone, but I just see being married into the AF as an adventure. You'll be able to finish school no problem, you might even get it paid for. Online classes, etc. make it a lot easier now than it used to be. If you can't compromise before, compromising in the military is even harder, so you need to discuss the pros and cons. Has he considered finishing school and becoming an officer? It's a better situation.
Good luck, whatever you decide on!
2007-02-09 09:10:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know that this is not what you want to hear but:
-You will have to move every 2-3 years, get your furniture broken and stolen in every move
-Move away from family and friends
-If you get to finally get a friend, you will lose then when they relocate or you relocate.
-You'll be lonely and home sick.
-There is no such thing as having Christmas or Thanksgiving together. Get used to celebrate your birthday on your own.
-You'll lose your job every 2 years if you are lucky enough to find one in those God forsaken town's were the bases are located. If you are a lawyer, you'll be woking as a secretary for minimun wage. Marketing degree? what about an amazing career as Lodging attendant during the night shift for 6 dollars an hour. Get in line, there are 100 other spouses waiting for that job and they have a MASTERS degree.
- Cry yourslef to sleep when he gets deployed for 1 year at the least
- You probally won't finish school beacuse most bases don't have colleges other than basic Administration careers and stuff like that.
-Europe? Please. You cannot even get a driver's license there. The parking is impossible, the locals, rude. Very expensive too. No jobs there either. Consider yourself lucky if you get a babysitting job.
You wanted the thruth....
If you want real advice, then ask someone that has been in the military. Is not a bed of roses specially during a war. You seem to have all picture perfect in your head, I'm not trying tu burst yoru bubble, but if anyone here have EVER been married to a military person they will tell you (just like the person above me). I'm not trying to be negative, but you have to be aware. I'm not exagerating ONE bit.
My advice: stay in school. You are too young to drop everything you know to sit a home crying because your man is in a 24/7 duty in good lord knows where.
Good luck
2007-02-09 09:10:22 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I was Air Force for awhile, and there's nothing wrong with serving one's country. Yes, as a wife there would likely be sacrifices, but it probably wouldn't be that bad. My question is why do you think you have to sacrifice schooling to go overseas with the husband? The great majority of schools nowadays have online classes where 100% of the school contact is online. Any base you will go to will have internet access somewhere. I've taken online classes and it works well for most subjects. But don't let fear sabotage the adventure you might be having. Where else would you get a free trip to Europe? Also, there are women's clubs that you could join at pretty much every base, so you'd never need to be alone, in fact, you might make some lifelong friends. Good luck whatever you choose!
2007-02-09 09:11:11 · answer #4 · answered by Thegustaffa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love each other, then it's doable. I will say, for me, the test came when we started having children. It's very stressful if you don't have help when trying to rear kids. There will be times you'll be very lonely. Especially if he's gone for a year or something like that....or if you know he's in a particularly dangerous place, it can cause some stress too. But if you really want to be with him, you can do it. It just depends on you...and how independent you are.
2007-02-09 09:35:04 · answer #5 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a compromise, and from what you say you are not ready for marriage yet. You seem to be worried about leaving home so that says your to young to get married.
2007-02-09 09:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can suck if he's gone all the time. My hubby is in the military and he's always gone.
2007-02-09 09:06:15 · answer #7 · answered by mypassions4life 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋