is my husband still in love with me?

Question

My husband and I have been together for 10 yrs. We were planning to renew our vows last yr. His mom got sick with a stroke a couple of months before and we were not sure if we were still going to go through with it. One week before our wedding day I caught my husband with another woman. He states that he didnt sleep with her. However that is hard for me to believe. We managed to get over that hurdle. Then his mom died, she was my best friend so I'm dealing with my husband's infidelity along with the death of his mom. In the beginning of this yr I lost my job and now all the bills are on my husband he has really been great regarding that. I am going back to school. But he doesnt spend time with me at all sexually. I understand that he is working but I feel neglected. Now I am questioning if he still is in love with me and of course he says yes but I am not sure within myself

Answer 1

It sounds as though he is still cheating on you...

Answer 2

Ten years is a long time to be married. Relationships go through phases as I'm sure you have seen over the years. Love in a marriage takes on different faces at different times. At this point I'm sure if nothing else he loves you because you guys have been together so long and you've been through a lot at each others side. I am a firm believer in the ability to re-kindle love and spark the romance again. Truth is he may be falling out of love, but it's not too late to turn that all around. Instead of even pondering over how far downhill this may be, focus on what you can do to regain control and get your man's attention and heart back. Spice things up, try to relight the fire that once burned between the two of you.

I hope this works out for you...

Answer 3

The more you question his love the farther you will push him . His mom was your best friend and that is a tragic loss but it was also his mom. Did you support him through that crisis ? Infidelity is hard and almost impossible to get through. If you cant let things go then you may need to move on. It will never work if you both haven't been completely honest with each other to get everything out in the open and strt to move on.You need to sit and talk and find out the whole truth of what happened. Maybe he was comforted by the other woman because he felt he couldnt talk to you. MAybe he was grieving for him mom and felt like you werent as supportive to him as he wanted because you were also greiving. Whatever the case may be , you both need to be completely honest now if you want things to work. Sit down with him and have a long heart to heart , make sure when you do it that you are ready to hear the whole truth and not be angry or argumentative. Listen to what he has to say and what reasons he had for seeking out another person for comfort or support. DONT yell or say that he is wrong in what he thinks or he will most likely close up and you wont get things out in the open. If you do get the information you want and youy both agree that you want to work on things seek counseling to help you get through it. If he doesnt want to go , then go yourself. It helps to find out from another person how to cope and what you may have contributed to the problem.



Also , i went through something similar and I got Dr. Phils book relationship rescue and I will be honest by saying it didnt fix my relationship but it did help me to understand my part in things and helped me to be a stronger person. He says in that book, you cant change anyone you can only change yourself. if you want things to change you have to look at yourself first. I must say that if i read the book and chose to work on things It may very well have worked out but It was a decision I made and I was ok with. If i hadnt read it , i would have probably been a big mess

Answer 4

I think your husband still loves you. He may be experiencing inner turmoil regarding his mom but that will pass if you talk with him about it. Don't just jump right into the topic. Bring it up in passing, so he knows you are thinking about him. If you have mobile phones, text him to let him know you are thinking about him. If not, then leave him notes in places you are sure he will find them (wallet, in his car, lunch box, etc.) He needs to share his grief with someone who understands. If he had an affair, he might have tried to share his thoughts and emotions with that person. It isn't your fault. I'm sorry if he did cheat, that is a bad thing. But it is forgiveable. If you love him. If he isn't talking about leaving the marriage, then he does still love you. But sometimes I need the little push to get me back to feeling the passion in the bedroom. I think men feel taken for granted sometimes, no matter how their wife treats them. You have to change at least one thing a year to let each other know you still have some excitement to offer. I started wearing boxers one year, the next I just practiced being nice all the time and smiling at everyone until it just became normal, one year all I did was memorize important dates (anniversary, birthday, even ssn) and it made my wife feel like she was the center of my universe. Which she is. So, ask your husband if he is still in love with you and tell him how he can make you feel that he is. Make sure you have a detailed idea of how he can make you feel loved, in case he can't figure out how to do it on his own. Like, doing something spontaneous once in awhile, rose petals on the bed, or taking you out to your favorite place.

Answer 5

He is still in love with you, but love and sex usually have nothing to do with one another as far as guys are concerned. He is fooling around because it is a biological drive that neither you or any selfrighteous fanatic can do anything about. It just is. If you let him look and don't hassle him maybe he won't be jumping the fence. Good luck.

Answer 6

you should sit down and talk to him, tell him your feelings, tell him what you just wrote, tell him you have questions about your rwlationship, that is the only way you will know for sure.

my wife and i talk on a daily basis, wbout our relationship, what bothers us about each other, what are like are, what we dont like, then we try to make corrections to that. try to talk to your husband and sont keep it bottled up,, but what ever you do, dont argue, if it starts to get to that point, stop the conversation, and continue it later, it gives you both time to think about what you just talked about.

set aleast 30 mins a day aside to have a relationship talk with each other.

GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 7

I f he says he is, give him the benefit of the doubt. You and him had a cross to bear, and you dealt with it, now it is time to resolve where you want to go. Communicate this with him daily, and your sex life will come back.

Answer 8

As long as you have doubts of yourself you will always have doubts of him