after 10 years of being a good husband and father, lost my wife to my best friend, two years later i find it hard to see myself attached to anyone. i have all the toys big house good job and no problem getting a date but find that there is always something that drives me away, there past , ex , kids, or ideas of how i am suppost to rescue them, is it me or is this normal? maybe im looking for a drama free enviorment, is there such thing?
2007-02-09 08:48:58 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes there is a such thing and you have every right to want that because of what happen to you that was pretty messed up!! just stay free of commitments and keep dating that special someone is out there you just haven't found her yet and its ok to have standards there is nothing wrong in wanting to find yourself the perfect women!!
2007-02-09 08:54:08 · answer #1 · answered by notyochic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes time to find yourself again. Yes for ten years you were a husband and father and to have it all taken from you is alot to adjust to. Don't hink everyone will do to you what your wife did.
Concentrate on yourself and being and staying the good father you say you are. Who is it you are trying to rescue. Live for yourself in time you will find the right person. Be good to yourself and let go of the negative look ahead and don't worry your life will fall into place. Good Luck you sound like a real sweetheart.
2007-02-09 17:02:01 · answer #2 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat , I lost my husband to my younger sister. It has been 4 years and I can not trust . I have a big house, a pool , a good job and money in the bank. I have no problem getting a date , but I am just afraid to get close to anyone. I just don't want to get hurt again. I don't believe the guys when they tell me things. I do not want to keep someone else again and be used. When you find out how you can trust again, let me know. tell me how to not be afraid of being used again. Women feel the same way you do. Good luck and God Bless
2007-02-09 16:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you were married 10 years I'm assuming you're at least 30. People that age don't come without some baggage. I think you were really hurt and are having a hard time trusting.
Two years is a reasonable amount of time to be grieving for your ex. Take your time, be picky and don't be afraid once you are ready. There are some really nice, honest women out there. Good luck.
2007-02-09 16:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't want commitment, don't do it!
if you don't want to know about their past- don't ask!
you have kids by your wife, why are you worried about their kids?
that's a bit hypocritical.
i left my hubby of 4.5 years, 2 years ago and i am left with our 3 year old son.
i have no regrets as he was a slfish wife-beater but i did have doubts about settling down again for a bit.
just get off your **** and give women a chance.
i have my own house, my own car and had my own bike once but toys don't make you completely happy...
i'm going to be 25 next month!!!
2007-02-09 16:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by foxy kitn 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get over it, otherwise you'll be sitting there on your big house ALONE, playing with you big boy toys ALONE and wearing Depends.
If you want a relationship, then you should be able to take all the crap that goes with it.
Or what.... you must be perfect, uh?
Good luck
2007-02-09 16:59:13 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need time to get over her before moving on. Start out as friends with someone, that can sometimes help, let it grow from there. Don't try to force it let it come naturally!
2007-02-09 17:03:43 · answer #7 · answered by Rhonda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your making excuses not to get close maybe your still not ready for serious. Just have fun and eventually maybe someone will stand apart from the rest.
2007-02-09 16:54:51 · answer #8 · answered by chancelike 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe this is your time to work on you.........Maybe this is a season where you need to work on you!!!!!
Do not compromise but do not be judgemental.....Open your eyes to knew things and a knew way
2007-02-09 16:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by ELDER 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just haven't found the right one yet. Give yourself some time.
2007-02-09 16:53:35 · answer #10 · answered by ldgbt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋