My husband says he still loves me, but he's depressed and isn't happy with something, he doesn't know what. He text messaged me to say he's tired of it all and thought he could do better on his own, then turned the phone off. He won't talk to me, says its not one thing, then it is that thing thats the problem, then its not the problem anymore. He finally answered his phone, and said he wanted to stay with me and there wasn't anyone else. Then said he didn't want to work on being a top dart thrower, which he wanted to do, because it was too much work to be really good at it and he didn't want to put the time into it to get really good at it. Is he trying to tell me something?
He doesn't want to see a marriage conseulor, wants to work through it ourselves, but he doesn't know whats wrong with him and he won't tell me anything.
Anyone have any constructive ideas for me to work with?
2007-02-09 08:36:42 · 8 answers · asked by nokhada5 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, people play darts and they win MONEY. The better you are, the more MONEY you win. But thats beside the point, in this case.
2007-02-09 09:42:30 · update #1
It sounds like he really doesn't know what's wrong but there's definitely something going on. Depression is a rough thing on the person with the condition and with those living with them. This not something you two can work on together without a counselor. It would be a good idea if he went to a doctor for a physical to rule out any physical conditions that might be making things bad for him. Then, having done that, a counselor is in order for the two of you together and separately. Without those things you can't get your relationship out of the ditch.
2007-02-09 08:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is being very controlling. He sends you text messages, then turns his phone off so you don't have a chance to respond. This is going to be hard to hear, but WHY are you allowing it to all be about what HE wants!!?!?!?! What about what YOU need and want? I'd sit him down and say, "Listen, I don't know what the problem is, but I need to know what we can do, because I do not want to be around anyone that does not want to be around ME!" You deserve a good life too. You simply cannot go through life wondering what kind of mood he's going to be in or not, is he going to want to stay with me or not, yada yada yada. I'd let him know I'm about to LIVE with or without him, and he could get with the program, or MOSEY ON!
2007-02-09 08:49:57 · answer #2 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you like it or not this is constructive! He needs to grow up! Most guys stress about their job, their relationship, their parents, yours stresses about dart throwing? My God! He text messages you then turns off the phone so you can't attack this problems with two minds instead of one? What a drama queen he is! You may want to tell him to take off and come back when puberty hits!
2007-02-09 08:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It really sounds like he is not pleased with his life in general. It sounds like he needs something to occur that will spark his enthusiasm in life. I suggest you trying to do so before someone new sees the opportunity. Try to spice things up in your love life, start having a more assertive attitude, switch it up on him. Make him feel like he's meeting someone new with endless possibilities. Don't participate in his hum-drum attitude act like you are ready to be alive and enjoy life, it can be contagious, and he could feel like he needs to get with it or you will lose interest.
Really hard question here, hope I was of some help. Good luck.
2007-02-09 08:53:37 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he or you thought about maybe going and seeing family doctor and seeing if maybe he could get on some depression meds I know that my husband was going through the same thing awhile back and we got him on some depression meds and he is happy and fine now...Good luck and best wishes to you..
2007-02-09 08:43:07 · answer #5 · answered by Daigsmommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with April, I thought this was serious until you said he wanted to be a champion dart thrower.
...You crack me up.
2007-02-09 08:48:45 · answer #6 · answered by Nobody Special 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to be a top dart thrower???? is this a joke????
2007-02-09 08:44:05 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he wants to be single but does not want to hurt you. instead he is playing games with you. He probably wants you to be the one who breaks off with him, because he doesn't have the guts to. leave him alone for awhile until he figures things out for himself.
2007-02-09 08:45:32 · answer #8 · answered by calif.sun 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋