my weight breaks his heart, should I leave? PLEASE read&help?

Question

I am inlove with my soulmate, yep he is the love of my life we are engaged...the problem is I have gained weight over the years and now I'M about 265 instead of the nice 165 I was when I met him.
he says he still loves me, but I can see through his smile that it is breaking his heart inside. I am thinking about leaving him, UNTIL I can lose weight. YES he still would be there...I am his life and soul.. NOTHING IS WORKING.... no matter how much I try to lose weight. I can barely pull through so why put him through that?... either I try to lose weight on my own or with him nothing works.
the weight has caused depressed and that is a serious problem as well.

Answer 1

if he will love and support you no matter what your weight, what's the point of leaving him? if you're apart you're not going to be in a good state of mind to lose weight, you may be even more depressed. go to a doctor and see what type of nutritional and emotional counseling they can refer you to.

Answer 2

I lost 30 lbs last year and it was soooo hard but I kept them off.
It will happenas soon as your really ready for a change. No pills. My way was through counting calories(1100/day) and walking 30 minutes every morning, no hard type excersice. Just walking( not too slow not too fast) Start thinking about yourself and how much healthier u would be if u lost the weight. Smile in the mirror and look at urself. Love ur body and know that changes have to be made. Just drop the sodas, bread, candy and ALL fast food. Get more salads( its very hard to get use to it) and more grilled food. You can do it girl, do not stay sitted and watch tv all day. House chores help u burn calories too. Dance around the house. And start looking towards a new wardrobe! But u don't have to leave him, He may not be there when u come back.

Answer 3

OK listen up I'm not an expert about this stuff but if you've tried those pills that help you lose weight well some work others don't for different people i suggest this to help you out with the weight it's called "Flush the Fat" it's worked for alot for my family, and with the relationship well why don't you ask him to help you out with losing your weight it will have an effect and it could go either depends but also with this "Flush the Fat" you must learn to go to the gym and workout for just 30 mins a day doing whatever thing you want to but the "Flush the Fat" helps unlock that fat back into your blood stream and you have to work that fat out so after this you'll be a lot healthier and have more energy to run around the house with him. So I hope you're doing this because you want this as much as he does. well good luck and never give up.

Answer 4

First of all you need to find out why you have put on this weight over the years. You may have a thyroid condition. If this man is truly your soul-mate and says he loves you just the way you are why don't you believe him. I don't think weight should be the reason you would leave him. If your thyroid is under-active it will cause you to gain weight no matter what you try and it will also cause you to have depression. I know I have been through this.

Answer 5

Look, the first thing that you must do is come to some sort of realization. If it's breaking your heart to be so heavy, you have to make a concious decision to act. Nothing is going to happen for you if you don't make it happen for yourself.
Do NOT leave him until your skinny! That's ridiculous, no offense. You have a much better chance of success knowing that he loves you and is behind you all the way.
Pick a program, and stay with. Try Weight Watchers. Try a diet or exercise and STAY WITH IT. You can't expect immediate results; no one can. Look everything up- research the types of weight-loss, diet, and exercise, and talk with someone about it. Going it alone is really hard, and if you're this down about it, you'll need help!
Keep your man, tell him your plans. Make a decision and ACT.

Answer 6

I feel your pain, Hon. I wish I had a definitive answer for you. As a woman who has gained a lot of weight over the years and is losing it now, I can tell you something my mother said when I was a chubby child. "You won't lose weight until you're ready to". If that doesn't make sense, don't worry. It didn't make sense to me until my doctor told me I had diabetes. I was ready then. Perhaps you can have a serious session of soul searching and think about the effects the extra weight is having on your health. I hope that helps. If not, I don't know what to tell you. Good luck.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

If you think your weight is breaking his heart.What do you think leaving him will do.I know what you are going through with the weight thing.But if you two are really soulmates you can use this experience to streagthen your relationship not destroy it.I know a thing or two about soulmates real ones not what a lot of people try to make it out to be.A lot of people think they have found theirs everytime they meet someone whom gets them excited.If he is truly yours the breaking of his heart over your weight is for lack of a better term in your head.When you find you soulmate it is a meeting of two halves of a whole.He sees and reconizes or rather his soul sees and reconizes its mate and doesn't see you and your weight.I know that your weight problem could be causing him concern or heartbreak in certain respects.Like if you were ill due to your weight.Like with my hubby I know his heart has been broken over my weight gain.Not because he sees me has a fat person but because of my medical problem stemming from my weight.Everytime my hubby sees me taking my meds I swear I can hear him very soul weeping.He is morning the thought of losing his mate not upset at having a fat mate.But then again has far has my hubby goes he knows that their is a real chance of losing me because of my weight problem I have already had a stroke because my high blood pressure and we know that my pressure is high because I am 70 pounds overweight.You should talk to your hubby to be and find out what he is really feeling and not just go on you suspisions.Good luck!

Answer 9

Don't let you weight ruin your relationship. I have recently lost weight by joining Weightwatchers. If there is one in your area you should join, you can also join online but I think meeting up with people in person is more helpful & motivating & you will meet people in the same situation as yourself.(& they DON'Tshout out your weight in front of everyone)

It really works if you stick to it. I eat Weightwatchers chips & eat the low fat range of ready meals from all the main stores.
At first the portions seem small & I found when I was finished eating I wasn't full up - I just wasn't hungary anymore.

If you sort out your weight you will feel so much better about yourself & one woman at Weightwatchers where I go to has lost over 10st. I have lost 1.5 stone & I still struggle sometimes to keep it of but the thought of going back to the way I was is enough to reign me back in when I start to go out of control.

Hope this helps. I've tried fad diets, they don't work. Go to Weightwatchers & stick with it & you'll get results.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

i weigh 315lbs... my husband met me when i was 240... Yeah, 240 is still fat but not anywhere near how much I weigh now... He loves me and accepts me for who I am but I'm sure he worries about my health. To make him feel better about your health, go to the doctor, and get things checked out like your blood pressure and cholesterol. Don't leave a man because you are not happy with your own appearance. That wouldn't be fair to him, since it seems like he really really loves you for who you are inside.

While you are at the MD ask him(her) about phentermine... That is the best weight loss drug out there, I stopped taking it because I'm trying to become pregnant, but when I was on it, it helped the best. What you need if you want to lose weight is support, not to be alone. Don't lose weight for him, only lose it for you.

I am very very happily married and have just recently in life come to the conclusion that I like the way I look now. I have normal blood pressure and cholestoral and my husband loves me just the way I am.

I wish you the best of luck with your endeavors.. whereever they take you.

Answer 11

Why would leaving him help you lose weight? If you can't lose weight with the support of the person who loves you most in the world, there's no way you're going to be able to do it alone. I think that you think if you leave him you will stop feeling guilty.

Have you looked at joining Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig? Have you talked to a doctor? You've got to deal with this NOW.

Have you also considered that he does love you, regardless of your weight? Maybe it's your guilt that is putting the heartbreak in his eyes. Maybe if you were happier inside, he would be happier too?

My mom was obese, and the worst thing about it was her self-perception. She was beautiful and a wonderful person, no matter what she weighed. But it was her constant doubt, guilt, and lack of self-esteem that tore our family apart.