Hanging his coat in the foyer, he called into the kitchen... or...While hanging his coat in the foyer, he called into the kitchen. The 2nd may be better, but is the first one allowable? I want to avoid reversing the phrases, as in... He called into the kitchen while hanging his coat in the foyer. I'm writing a story, and have a lot of sentences like that.
2007-02-09 08:09:28 · 12 answers · asked by mickeymann 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
I've been told I'm a grammar expert. If I were you, I'd go with something like the first one. Say it out loud. Which sounds better? Words like "while" don't always sound good at the beginning of sentences. Remember that any good story has a good voice. That's the main ingrediant for a sucessful story. Good luck. If it means anything, just from that sentence, your story sounds like a good one. Your choice of words is great. :)
2007-02-09 08:18:24 · answer #1 · answered by Quiet_Riot_05_06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are there hooks in the foyer? I would suggest a closet would be better, or a 'coats closet' Foyers are at the front of banks and churches. You don't usually hang a coat there - unless on a coat stand. . .
I like #1. It has class. If you change the foyer word. . .
2007-02-09 09:35:41 · answer #2 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you want to use the first one. The two actions don't have anything to do with each other, but that type of sentence implies they do. For example, "hanging his coat in the foyer, he notice a stranger's coat there".
2007-02-09 08:19:27 · answer #3 · answered by jboatright57 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As he was hanging his coat in the foyer, he called into the kitchen.
2007-02-09 08:18:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could say the same thing in a number of different ways, but you're not asking for alternatives, are you. You just want to know if the first one is correct.
The first one is correct.
.
2007-02-09 15:11:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not try a different tack, such as "As he was hanging his coat, he called into the kitchen"?
2007-02-09 08:18:31 · answer #6 · answered by catfish 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I read alot of books. and if i was reading this book I would probably say that the 2nd one is better. I would think that the first one was wrong or misprinted. and I would just fix it in my head. so I say go with the second one.
2007-02-09 08:36:36 · answer #7 · answered by God loves you 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hanged his coat, then called into the kitchen.
2007-02-09 08:15:02 · answer #8 · answered by regerugged 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
not quite, that's especially badly phrased. first of all it really is going to be "what makes" not "what make". Secondly, using "like" in this way is slang. inspite of in case you want to communicate in slang, the sentence ought to nevertheless do with some punctuation: Their practise options, like, how they modern-day the cloth, are what makes gaining expertise of interesting. average, an greater way of holding it should be something like: Their practise options and the superb way they modern-day the cloth are what makes gaining expertise of interesting.
2016-11-26 19:49:29 · answer #9 · answered by corral 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first one. It's allowable, and it sounds better to me and going by what they teach us at school.
2007-02-09 08:17:54 · answer #10 · answered by thegirlwitharidiculouslylongname 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋