2007-02-09 08:09:10 · 12 answers · asked by ••●bizeb●•• 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Helping creates a power dynamic, where the helper is empowered while the person being helped is disempowered. People may provide the type of help that maintains this relationship (e.g., dependency oriented helping). Check out the article I listed in the source for further information. I thought this article was very interesting!
2007-02-09 15:38:08 · answer #1 · answered by ms_lain_iwakura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the 100 gazillion dollar question I would like to answer!!
I can't help but agree with you. So what will we do about it?
Give up on people? No. I won't. (I'm thinking) Stand back and watch them struggle alone? No. I can't. (Still thinking) Find a clever way to help them by making them think they did it by themselves? Put myself in their shoes and figure out what they need? Well, that's manipulation but.........I LIKE IT!! (I'm a bad influence)
Guess I can tell them I will always be here if they can use my help or that I think of them at times, show my interest in them. They can take it from there. And then I get to consider myself ready to help others!!
Sweet Deal!! I'll take door #3. May be a little pushy, but so I am, how 'bout you? Hey, you asked a question!! There's my answer!! Where's my two cents? Good Luck!! @8-)
2007-02-10 00:44:49 · answer #2 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you might be trying a little too hard. With most people, when they want help they will ask for it, or give you a sign that they want help. Sometimes help that isn't asked for is viewed by the person you're helping as criticism.
2007-02-09 18:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by ibuythisnow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes your help is not wanted or needed and sometimes it is because the person is not yet ready to hear the truth about thier situation. So, what you think is helping is really diturbing the person. I say if you try and it fails then let it be known that you are avialable in the future if the person decides to face reality.
2007-02-09 16:34:25 · answer #4 · answered by Diamond 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is the possibility that the person you are trying to help is unaware a problem exists until you point it out. Because the help you offer comes from your assessment of the problem and not from the perspective of the person with the problem, your desire to help makes the person feel they are being adjudged incompetent to handle the problem themselves. Trying harder just reaffirms, in their mind, their incompetence.
2007-02-10 09:14:18 · answer #5 · answered by rico3151 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a real caring person and sometimes you need to let them come to you - I have been the person in both situations very helpful and not wanting to accept help - Just try not to over do it - don't come on to strong and then they will come to you and you will be appreciated for the helpful things you do - Good - Luck
2007-02-09 18:15:16 · answer #6 · answered by pattijohughes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't going to like the answer--but here it is.
Most people prefer to do things on their own--and when they need help, they ask. Most of the time, when you find that people you're trying to help don't want the help--they didn't ask for it.
In other words, quit sticking your nose in where you haven't been invited! :)
2007-02-09 20:27:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best help a person can be is to ask, "How can I help you?" Let them take the lead...they are the only ones who can know what they really need!
2007-02-09 21:36:13 · answer #8 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very possibly, the more help you give a person the less they feel right about themselves. At first they welcome the help, but as time passes that changes.
2007-02-09 22:37:42 · answer #9 · answered by lightperson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they;ve heard it all before. now you just seem to be interfering or lecturing them for choices that are obviously bad ones. you just turned from a friend into a parent
2007-02-10 01:58:22 · answer #10 · answered by michelle342 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋