Is there such a thing as choosing a religion over a spouse?

Question

My husband of 10 years says I choose my church over him, so in turn he choose another woman over me. Do you have as opinion on the matter?

Answer 1

God should be over your spouse, that doesn't mean the church should be. It sounds like the problem may be that he doesn't see eye to eye on religion like you and he isn't putting God first in his life so you two aren't working towards the same goal. Your goal seems to be to follow God and go to heaven, his goal seems to be to have a woman that puts him above everything, including God. Or maybe you spend too much time at church. It is great to be active in the church and really enjoy it, but not being there for every activity or every single time the doors are open doesn't mean you aren't a good Christian. From my readings of the Bible and from what I've learned listening at church, it is important to meet at least the first day of the week to worship Him, I haven't read anywhere that says if you aren't there every time the doors open you are a bad Christian. I love being active in church and it got to where I was wanting to be there every time something was going on, even if my husband finally had a day off and wouldn't go or didn't want to go. This did start to be a problem but we talked about it and I stopped going to every single thing and only to the things I really wanted to, and only if he wanted to go with me or was at work. Except Sundays of course, I would go then with or without him unless an emergency. In either case though, even if you were going to church every single day or something, him choosing another woman was wrong and there is no excuse for it at all.

Answer 2

Sounds like he has left you. All that remains of your marriage is a divorce and the grief that may cause the rest of your lives. However, if you worship to one true creator God of the universe and you worship according to your best attempts to know how according to what the Bible says, then you know that Jesus said He should be first and your spouse and other family will be second to Him. If your husband really loved you he would not cheat, but go to church with you.

Answer 3

There is such a thing as choosing God first.You are not wrong for that.But he is wrong for blaming you and the church so that he can cheat.The two are not even close in relation.Opinion,Here's mine.He has been doing that right along.You going to church,and being involved there give him in his mind a reason to do what he is doing.You too are what the Bible calls unevenly yoked.Read your Bible and see what it says about it.

Answer 4

Sounds like an abandonment issue. You are apparently focused too much on the church and aren't devoting as much time to him so he's feeling unfulfilled by the relationship and seeks feminine energy elsewhere.

This sort of thing does happen. If a member of a couple focuses too much on church, their job, drugs, or something else they will tend to drive their significant other away.

Answer 5

Well--that is ridiculous--Even if he did not believe in teh same religion he should have let you keep your faith without getting jealous of it--I think it's good he is gone--he clearly does not have any spiritual values if he decided to abandon your marriagefor another woman...partners should help one another on the spiritual path--even if those paths are different--he is a disloyal person--so maybe God took him out of your life so that you could progress more on your path--a true husband would have supported your faith even if he didn't believe it himself--Next time choose someone with similar values...

Answer 6

A Church is just a Building.. Religion is "Man made" But,
God is who you need to put first.... Are you putting people in your church before him or God before him? If it's God then thats what your supposed to do. But don't go to Hell for anyone that includes your husband just pray for him! But tell him you need to be around other Christian people to help build your faith and sence he is not willing to go and spend time with you serving God then your sorry but you need to do what God tells you not him!!!
And this over Women will pay the price and so will your husband on judgement day!

Answer 7

Sounds like he's a little weak to not be able to allow your religious choice. Otr maybe an excuse for him to be a biatch and cheat. Find a nice fella at church. Cheating IS a biblically backed grounds for divorce and frees you to marry another. Check in Matthew 5.

Answer 8

Is he saying this because lets say, he would want certain things in the bedroom that your religion will not allow? or does he say this because you spent too much time at church and not enought time at home?

It all depends on what lies underneath the whole issue. However why would you want to be with someone that choose another woman?

Dean
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MioGarden/

Answer 9

well upon more detail i could possibly agree with your husband but you gave a very limited amount of information..maybe you put more into your religion then him, maybe you care more about the church and the people there then you do for him..maybe he just used your church/religion as an excuse to go do what he wanted who knows? but men are real good at doing what they please and then turning it around on us women..however i really dont know?

Answer 10

ever read the book the Coal Tattoo? best novel ever written. Silas House rocks. the guy in it is bitter toward his wife because she goes to church every sunday, doesn't drink, etc. and he's not a heathen but he's a little looser than she is. so eventually she leaves the church to spend more time with him but she feels too much guilt about it. I can't remember if they split up in the end or not but you should read it.