My fiance lied to me about going to a strip club. He told me that he hasn't been to one since we started dating but recently I was balancing his check book and I noticed that he had been to one last April. He claims he forgot about it and he didn't feel like he had to tell me then that he had went because he wasn't sure he'd spend the rest of his life with me at that point in time. I was 6 months preg. and had been staying with him for about 8 months. I'm not mad that he went because it did happen almost a year ago. But I am mad because of what he said about him feeling that he didn't have to tell me. It kinda makes me wonder what else he isnt telling me!!!! The strip club that he went to is an hour away from his job and 2 hours away from home. There are plenty of strip clubs in the town he works in...Why go that far out the way? He claims that he forgot when he went and what time of day he went. And also claims that I have no reason to be upset about this. Shud i jus forget about it?
2007-02-09 07:56:39 · 6 answers · asked by April 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a tough one! I feel for both of you. I agree that I'd be wondering what my fiance isn't telling me now, and I agree with him why he didn't feel the need to talk to you then.
I guess I'd try and forget about the previous incident and all the details (why, exactly, did he drive to a club 2 hrs away???)(maybe a friend of his said it was a good club to visit) but I would want to ensure he feels comfortable sharing stuff with you now that you are in a committed relationship. You both should be able to talk about what's important, and you have a right to information like this.
That said, how do you feel about strip clubs and how does he feel? This may be a point of difference that you really need to come to some agreement on. Some couples think strip clubs are pretty harmless entertainment, while others feel it's like cheating on their partner.
Remember guys are pretty pragmatic. If he went to a strip club last year and didn't feel like he needed to tell you, then that's probably all it was. There may be nothing more to it than that - why tell you he went to a strip club if you'll just get upset about it?
Of course he has to realise that if he's asking you to balance his chequebook there will be few secrets between you in the future!
I say try and forget about it, but do have a discussion about communication now that you are a committed couple.
2007-02-09 08:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by Deborah C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To you above
He couldv'e used his debit card and didnt make record of it in his checkbook, the bank statement was probably mailed to them and she was doing the balancing from that..Dont be stupid, just because a check isn't written doesnt mean its not balanced in the check book I do this all the time myself..Now go back to school little buddy!
Anyways, I've been in the same situation..The first time I found out I flipped out and ended it..Then I cursed out his friends since they pressured him into going..After stripping him of his manhood he came begging me back and we made an agreement that he can no longer go and if he wanted to I was to come with him..Im not telling you to try this, just know you're not alone..Good luck in whatever you decide
2007-02-09 15:33:00 · answer #2 · answered by IceQueen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is the kind of man who went to strip clubs before, he will still be that kind of man after you get married. You have to decide if that is what you want. Are you ok with that or not.? If you are not, then call off the wedding.
2007-02-09 08:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have to say sit and talk to him if this really bothers you let it all out before you get married because the bachelor party my include strippers... so nip this now before your marriage.. once a liar always a liar.. talk calmly be open to what he has to say and for him not know if you were going to be together is BS and he needs to come up with something better then that.. he was with you at that time and it was still disrespectful to do that...good luck
2007-02-09 08:07:35 · answer #4 · answered by funluvcaring 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your lying, you cant write a check at a strip club.
2007-02-09 08:19:19 · answer #5 · answered by Rip 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow your dude is harsh..
he went when you were preggers and then "didnt think about it"
thats bull..
sorry but your dude is an @ss
2007-02-09 08:01:13 · answer #6 · answered by Prof. Timpo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋