My husband and I have been married for over two years and I cheated on him in Aug. We seem to be doing better but he keeps talking to an ex-lover. He swears there jus friends but do I believe him??
2007-02-09 07:20:10 · 23 answers · asked by curiousjelly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My wife had an emotional affair and while I thought I could forgive her and move on...I've found it's impossible. The trust is lost. Him talking to his ex is one way to get back at you for what you did to him. Unless you get therapy, you will never get past these trust issues. Even if you try that, you will probably never trust each other 100% again.
2007-02-09 07:24:22 · answer #1 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I hate to say it, but this is a classic case of Karma, coming back to bite you on the hiney. When we do something, we have to realize that there will be consequences good or bad. I'm not dogging you here....I'm a prime example myself. That being said, I don't think you can do any more than he could have done to keep you from doing what you did to him. All you can do is hope he doesn't decide that he's justified in doing it simply because you did. One thing is for sure, two wrongs don't make a right. Let him know your concerns. IF this thing is going to continue happening on either side, you guys might as well move on from one another.
2007-02-09 07:34:01 · answer #2 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds like your husband is punishing you. he has not gotten over what happened. if it were me , i would approach him and say--i realize that what i did hurt you, but i am doing all i can to save the marriage.if you want to do the same, you will quit doing doing things to deliberately cause me concern. i believe you know what you are doing and exactly why you are doing it it is all designed to hurt me. i still have rights and am tired of being treated like a second-class citizen in this marriage. if you still have problems with what i did, then we need to find a way to help you move past it. what you are doing now-not acceptable,my love.so you must ex the ex.,and lets go out and have some fun.
2007-02-09 07:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
besides all the blames and criticism here, I feel sorry for you. i think everything happens for a reason and sometimes it's not always our minds/hearts, it's also the situations that make our lives difficult. And human beings can be weak sometimes. you need to spend time to figure your hubby out and know whether he's gonna work this out with you. he's hurt and he may do something unusual but hopefully not as a revenge. get some professional help. good luck!
2007-02-09 07:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just becasue you cheated doesnt mean he is... talk to him about it. did you come clean about cheating? 2 years isnt that long so theres is s good possibiliity he will leave you.. unles he is the kind of guyt hat will stick around and work things out.. but you cheated on him. dont accuse him of things that you are not sure of just because you have commited the act yourself.. come clean and go to marriage counseling if he wants too.. or stays with you for that matter. thats how you will get your marriage smoothed out.....shouldnt have cheated in teh first place! otherwise you wouldnt be as jealous as you are now.. or anything..
2007-02-09 07:25:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you believe him. He has to have someone to talk to, maybe his choice in an ex-lover is just to assure him of his 'manhood' since you cheated. I wouldn't spend too much time on it if you are wanting this to work. Go to counseling.
2007-02-09 07:43:35 · answer #6 · answered by not2bright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband says the other woman is just friends then you should believe him.You could be paranoid.Be glad that your husband didn't divorce you for cheating.Alot of men would.I know that mine would.
2007-02-09 07:37:28 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheaters are weak minded and have no self respect nor respect for their family or family name. If he decided to stick around (something I would never do) he probably thinks you have no right to judge him anymore, thus be prepared for revenge.
Oh I thinkrevenge is for the ignorant also...should have been a good clean break the minute you wanted to open your leggs to someone else.
2007-02-09 07:32:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sound like he id trying to get back at you. I suggest couples counseling so that you two can get an objective view of the situation. So that you two can get past this and be a strong couple. Good luck.
2007-02-09 07:27:40 · answer #9 · answered by one&only1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
are you sure you are not just paranoid because you did it to him? Why wouldnt you believe him? You cheated, not him, right? Has he ever given you a reason Not to believe him or trust him?
2007-02-09 07:52:45 · answer #10 · answered by chaa107 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋